


Danganronpa Chats and shit

by AnimeJunkie



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Attempt at Humor, F/F, F/M, M/M, Multi, Very OOC, a few of these are crack ships, author is a sailor mouthed little shit, even though im not a man, gay shit happens occasionally, holy fuck i just realised it said implied peko, hpa au???, idek wtf this is, idfk, idfk how to tag, if you cant tell, no beta we die like men, shit ton of swearing, theyre students in hpa, this is so self indulgent im so sorry, what the fuck is a plot
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-08
Updated: 2019-08-05
Packaged: 2019-09-01 21:29:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 35
Words: 28,978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16773268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnimeJunkie/pseuds/AnimeJunkie
Summary: Kaede creates a chat. What have you done, Kaede?~what the fuck is a summary~Tbh dont expect much from this. Memes and dead memes. tbh im not really sure how chatrooms work??? since i dont have friends to chat with sooo :/





	1. kaede created hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> PianoGay has added 14 others to Unnamed Chat
> 
> pantalord has changed the chat name to Panta Land™
> 
> no.: i dont like this.
> 
> PianoGay: please dont leave!!
> 
> no.: i am very tempted. 
> 
> pantalord: nishishishi
> 
> pantalord has changed no.’s name to #WhippedBitch
> 
> #WhippedBitch: no

PianoGay has added 14 others to Unnamed Chat

pantalord has changed the chat name to Panta Land **™**

no.: i dont like this.

PianoGay: please dont leave!!

no.: i am very tempted. 

pantalord: nishishishi

pantalord has changed no.’s name to #WhippedBitch

#WhippedBitch: no

#WhippedBitch: this is oowada’s 

#WhippedBitch has left the chat

mysteryguy: rip she ded

mysteryguy: *sad flute music to the tune of my heart will go on*

FedEx: near~ far~ whereeeveeer u aree~

SpaceJam: i believe that—

xXx_goldenbrain69_xXx: the hotdogs go onnn~

EmoBoio: *plays violin*

SHSLCoconut: *brings a whole orchestra*

smolandverygay: yo wtf

PianoGay has added #WhippedBitch. to the chat

Piano: I know what username fits Maki.

PianoGay has changed #WhippedBitch’s name to ‘Ass’assin

’Ass’assin: im filing for a divorce

PianoGay: nUUU WAIT

’Ass’assin: get fucked

EmoBoio: adfsgsvsgs

sweepy: I do not think it is appropriate to tell our classmates to...’get fucked’.

’Ass’assin: get fucked

xXx_goldenbrain69_xXx: LOL

sweepy: Do you hear that in the distance?

sweepy: That’s the sound of your Xbox mysteriously getting crushed by a hydraulic press along with your games.

’Ass’assin: i will break your brooms in half

sweepy: I’m not afraid to proceed, Harukawa.

’Ass’assin: p please dont touch my games or my guns

pantalord: ADFSHDBSHB LOLOLOL WHIPPED

’Ass’assin: i will kill you

pantalord: TRY ME BITCH

’Ass’assin: be on guard ;)

‘Ass’assin: welp bye

’Ass’assin is now offline

EmoBoio: what did you guys do for the project

pantalord: i did research on THOTS and made a report about it

EmoBoio: i think youre gonna get a D for that

pantalord: an A

FedEx: i made a report on anime :3

xXx_goldenbrain69_xXx: I MADE A REPORT ON REPRODUCTION

EmoBoio: let me guess its just gonna be sex postions

xXx_goldenbrain69_xXx: NO

xXx_goldenbrain69_xXx: tsk tsk shuichi

xXx_goldenbrain69_xXx: actually yeah some of it is sex positions

pantalord: whore

xXx_goldenbrain69_xXx: e eh????

mysteryguy: I made a report on unsolved mysteries cuz y not

SHSLCoconut: I made a report on Atua!

EmoBoio: ofc you would

pantalord: ATUA ISNT REAL

SHSLCoconut: be careful, kokichi kun! ;)

SHSLCoconut is now offline

pantalord: aHAHAHAHAHA IM SO GONNA DIE

EmoBoio: yknow what

EmoBoio: idec if youre gonna get murdered 

EmoBoio: not even gonna stop them

pantalord: sAIHARA-CHAN THATS SO MEAN

pantalord: at least @littlewitchacademia will help me

littlewitchacademia: srry kichi 2 busy

pantalord: uR ALWAYS BUSY

pantalord: r u che at ing on m e ?? ???

littlewitchacademia: no 

littlewitchacademia: im just regaining the mp i lost dealing w ur shit

pantalord: (゜´Д｀゜)

pantalord: tHATS SO MEAN

littlewitchacademia: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

littlewitchacademia: its getting late now

littlewitchacademia: bye kokichi

littlewitchacademia is now offline

mysteryguy: yeah its getting p late bue

FedEx: bue

mysteryguy: DUDE IT WAS A TYPO

FedEx: k

FedEx: bue rantaro ily

FedEx is now offline

mysteryguy: ur licky ily2

pantalord: god u guys r so sappy

FedEx is now online

FedEx: d’awww rantaro

FedEx: i sure am ‘licky’ to have you ;)

mysteryguy: god fUCKING DAMMIT TSUMUGI

FedEx: gnight fr now ～(^з^)-♡

FedEx is now offline

mysteryguy: im leaving

mysteryguy is now offline

xXx_goldenbrain69_xXx: bye i gotta get some beauty sleep

pantalord: lmao itll be useless

xXx_goldenbrain69_xXx: fuck off kokichi

xXx_goldenbrain69_xXx is now offline

PianoGay: well, i have to go now too bye

PianoGay is now offline

pantalord: WTF YOU WERE STILL ONLINE?!

sweepy: It was fun lurking around but I have to sleep. 

pantalord: sLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK 

sweepy: Seven days without sleep makes one weak.

sweepy: That said, I shall sleep now. You should go to sleep too.

pantalord: mAKE ME

sweepy: I see two of my ‘children’ have gone against me today. Have I not disciplined them enough? Should I punish them? 

sweepy: Should I not buy Panta for the dorms (mainly Kokichi) anymore?

pantalord: g goodnight mom

sweepy: :)

pantalord is now offline

sweepy is now offline


	2. oof wtf is this shit

pantalord: uwu did you guys do the math homework

’Ass’assin: yeah

GentleBuffBoi: hello! Gonta just noticed the chatroom! 

‘Ass’assin: oof hi gonta

GentleBuffBoi: hello harukawa-san! May I ask what ‘oof’ means?

pantalord: o o f

’Ass’assin: thats it

’Ass’assin: just

’Ass’assin: o o f

T3NC0K3: i backread and tbh i expected tsumugi or ouma to say ‘owo what’s this?’ when the chat started

pantalord: hOLY HECK 

T3NC0K3: NO SWEARING IN MY CHRISTIAN MINECRAFT SERVER

GentleBuffBoi: Gonta doesn’t get it..

’Ass’assin: dw gonta

creepsmccreeper: Isn’t that Angie’s line, Tenko?

pantalord: iT SPEAKS

T3NC0K3: yea but she’s not online

T3NC0K3: wait back on track, WTF

T3NC0K3: WHAT MATH HOMEWORK

’Ass’assin: ooh shnap

pantalord: lol same i didnt do it

’Ass’assin: haha y’all are getting F’s

pantalord: speaking of f’s

pantalord: do any of u know that f-bomb filled show, the absolute masterpiece called

pantalord: PANTY AND STOCKING WITH GARTERBELT?!?!

T3NC0K3: that topic change was so fast, it gave me a whiplash

GentleBuffBoi: Why are we talking about clothes?? 

‘Ass’assin: i watched it before 

‘Ass’assin: theyre not gonna make another season, are they

T3NC0K3: lol i watched it like 8 years ago it became a part of my childhood

‘Ass’assin: childhood? What’s that?

‘Ass’assin: can you eat it?

T3NC0K3: oof rip

pantalord: lol 

T3NC0CK: qUICK BEFORE IT GETS SAD AND DEPPRESSING, WHO ARE YOUR GUYS’ FAVE CHARACTERS IN ANY FRANCHISE

FedEx is now online

FedEx: uwu the (actually) pure hanayo koizumi of μ's

pantalord: u’s

’Ass’assin: u's

FedEx: adfgzhwiodljsi

FedEx: its μ's

T3NC0K3: aqours

’Ass’assin: Afterglow

pantalord: Roselia

pantalord: rinko is best bandori girl

’Ass’assin: you say that and you cant even fc a roselia song on hard

FedEx: rinko is cute but m a y a

’Ass’assin has added purplelesbian

’Ass’assin: kirigiri 

‘Ass’assin: who is best bandori girl

purplelesbian: duh yukina

creepsmccreeper: I see you’re a man of culture as well.

tennisbih: kasumi’s cat ear hair things are cute

tennisbih: tbh i wouldve expected you to choose hina, @purplelesbian

purplelesbian: why

tennisbih: because she has blue hair, is v happy, and is an idol

purplelesbian: shes in second place though

T3NC0K3: lol is ir because you see yourself in yukina?

purplelesbian: she is my child

purplelesbian: kyouko kirigiri jr. aka yukina minato

pantalord: congratulations! you are now a dad!

purplelesbian: huzzah

T3NC0K3: lmao have u been cheating on ur gf w chihiro

purplelesbian: huh wtf makes you think that

T3NC0K3: she has gold eyes

T3NC0K3: neither you nor sayaka have gold eyes

’Ass’ssin: *squints at kirigiri*

purplelesbian: look at my name

’Ass’assin: you’re on thin fucking ice

T3NC0K3: yeah lol and chihiro is gay

T3NC0K3: eehhh i have to go and do the math homework now bye

FedEx: ‘bue’ you guys

T3NC0K3 is now offline

FedEx is now offline

tennisbih: bye 

tennisbih is now offline

GentleBuffBoi: Gonta has to go now too! Bye!

GentleBuffBoi is now offline

pantalord: i didnt even know he was still online

’Ass’assin: shinguji stop lurking

creepsmccreeper is now offline

purplelesbian: swiper no swiping

purplelesbian has left the chat

EmoBoio is now online

EmoBoio: hey guys

’Ass’assin: lol you missed ur idol 

pantalord: lololol

EmoBoio: oh its late

EmoBoio: bye

EmoBoio is now offline

’Ass’assin: im not gonna be left alone w you

’Ass’assin is now offline

pantalord: :(

pantalord is now offline


	3. idk what to title this

pantalord: ssend he lp

mysteryguy: wtf happened

pantalord: garukawa brokw b my fIngentrss harg to typd

’Ass’assin: no i didnt

’Ass’assin: i havent even seen you since homeroom you little shit

pantalord: idfk. Thw lpedqpm lookqed lokw u

mysteryguy: wtf are you trying to say

SHSLCoconut: atua says kokichi is lying and that we should sacrifice him!

mysteryguy: ok

’Ass’assin: k its lunch anyway

PianoGay: but i thought we were gonna have lunch together!!!

’Ass’assin: oh i forgot

mysteryguy: Harukawa: hm hMMm plans for today.. oH? sacrificing ouma hmMMM seems like a good plan

mysteryguy: Harukawa: am I free this lunch? *looks at planner/calendar* *casually crosses out lunch date with gf* looks like im free!

’Ass’assin: 

SHSLCoconut: famous last words lol

Alexa2.0: hello! 

mysteryguy: hey kiibs

FedEx: aMIIBO WILL SAIL

mysteryguy: tsumugi we are d a t i n g😐

FedEx: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

mysteryguy: —________________—

Alexa2.0: what happened to ouma kun?

’Ass’assin: he lie now he die

SHSLCoconut: clap clap clap

FedEx: angie is living proof that something cute can make you join a cult

’Ass’assin: did she ask you to sacrifice your manga

FedEx: yes and i accepted

mysteryguy: w h y ?

FedEx: hey if an incredibly cute girl suddenly asks you to sacrifice your manga you would do it cause you cant say no to such a cute face

SHSLCoconut: :3

’Ass’assin: hah weak

mysteryguy: when kaede says please you basically melt

’Ass’assin is now offline

mysteryguy: oh shit am i gonna die?

Alexa2.0: please dont die amami kun!!!

FedEx: some good amiibo yes keep it up

SHSLCoconut: amiibo?

SHSLCoconut: nintendo amiibo

SHSLCoconut: minetendo

pantalord: nyantendo

mysteryguy: sintendo

Alexa2.0: nintendo???

FedEx: oniichantendo

mysteryguy: tf was that

pantalord: oNII CHAAANN 😫😫

FedEx: cursed

mysteryguy: cursed 

SHSLCoconut: atua says ouma is a mistake

pantalord: nYAAHHH~ nOT THERE

SHSLCoconut: @sweepy your child is misbehaving please collect him or we’ll have to take care of it our way

sweepy is now online

sweppy has removed pantalord from Panta Land™

sweepy is now offline

SHSLCoconut: LOL

mysteryguy: get rekt

FedEx: lmao should we put the last words he typed here on his grave

Alexa2.0: ouma kun is dead?!

FedEx: no dw kiibs hes not actually dead

Alexa2.0: oh

mysteryguy: that ‘oh’ sounded so disappointed lol

Alexa2.0: huh?

mysteryguy: lunch is ending bye

mysteryguy is now offline

FedEx: sayonara

mememota: *cries while hugging sayori plush*

SHSLCoconut: necc snap

mememota is now offline

FedEx: i love how he just says one line and then dies

Alexa2.0: momota kun is dead?!?!?!

SHSLCoconut: no no dw 

FedEx: go to class kiibo

Alexa2.0: okay!

Alexa2.0 is now offline

SHSLCoconut: i gotta go now too byeonara!!

SHSLCoconut is now offline

FedEx: lol hi tsumugi

FedEx: hello tsumugi

FedEx: go to class tsumugi

FedEx: okay tsumugi

FedEx is now offline


	4. pron

Alexa2.0: tojo san, what is ‘porn’?

mysteryguy: adsfsudhdiebks

EmoBoio: kIIBO WHO TAUGHT YOU THAT

Alexa2.0: I heard ouma kun say it!

FedEx: lmao hes so dead

sweepy: Kiibo, you do not need to know what that is.

Alexa2.0: but... i want to learn! I don’t want to be left out!

sweepy: ok bye

sweepy has left the chat

FedEx: should we explain it to him?

EmoBoio: aaaAAAAAAAA nO

EmoBoio: wE MUST KEEP HIM INNOCENT

mysteryguy: but the poor boi really wants to learn

PianoGay: aaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHH

FedEx: protecc

tennisbih: good thing gonta isnt here to see that

GentleBuffBoi: See what, Ryoma-kun?

tennisbih: drop your phone and run

GentleBuffBoi: What?

tennisbih: drop your phone and run

FedEx: take his advice boi

GentleBuffBoi: If Ryoma-kun and Tsumugi-san say so!

littlewitchacademia: who’s gonna explain it to em

littlewitchacademia: not it

FedEx: not it

mysteryguy: not it

EmoBoio: not it

’Ass’assin: not it

tennisbih: not it

SHSLCoconut: not it

xXx_goldenbrain69_xXx: ME FUCKERS

xXx_goldenbrain69_xXx: porn is—

* * *

tennisbih: oof

Alexa2.0: oh 

Alexa2.0: so thats porn!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonus:  
> EmoBoio has added sweepy to Panta Land  
> sweepy: Ouma, Miu, you both are mistakes.  
> Alexa2.0: are we going to keep ouma kun out?  
> sweepy: yes  
> EmoBoio: yes  
> ‘Ass’assin: yes  
> mysteryguy: yes


	5. idfk

IdiotInSpace: gUYSSSS

IdiotInSpace: HAVE YOU SEEN SHUICHI????

mysteryguy: oh dw

mysteryguy: your bf is with us watching anime

mysteryguy: animoo.jpeg

mysteryguy: hes safe w us

IdiotInSpace: okay good

EmoBoio: aww you were looking for me

IdiotInSpace: i looked everywhere for you

EmoBoio: yea sorry

FedEx: you didn’t look in my dorm tho

IdiotInSpace: cuz i didnt think he would be in there

FedEx: k imma go now

FedEx is now offline

’Ass’assin: is that why you broke my door down

IdiotInSpace: oops

EmoBoio: why whatd he do

’Ass’assin: he jumped at my door yelling ‘HAVE YOU SEEN SHUICHI?!’

’Ass’assin: pay for that

’Ass’assin: pay for what the idiot has done

EmoBoio: yeah hes an idiot

IdiotInSpace: ouch

EmoBoio: but hes my idiot

IdiotInSpace: awwww <5

EmoBoio: <6

’Ass’assin: okay your gayness cant fix my broken door

’Ass’assin: oof ill have to sleep at kaede’s

EmoBoio: but you always sleep there

’Ass’assin: no i dont

’Ass’assin: only sometimes

IdiotInSpace: i found shuichi now! I have to go!

IdiotInSpace is now offline

’Ass’assin: bye too

EmoBoio: bye

EmoBoio is now offline

’Ass’assin is now offline


	6. wow its dr1

Naeggs has added Togami, natyurichild, donutz and 11 others to Unnamed Chat

natyurichild has named the chat ‘Hell’

Naeggs: touko nO

natyurichild: you’re all going to hell

natyurichild: goodbye

natyurichild has left Hell

420blazeit has named the chat ‘fingers in his ass’

SHSLBullshitter: i hate you less now

FashionJunkie: what the fuck is this chat for, egg?

Naeggs: so we can bond as a class!!!

baseball: bond

baseball: james bond

SHSLBullshitter: james bondage

420blazeit has added SeesawBih to fingers in his ass

Memekuro: this aint it chief

baseball: pUT HIM BACK

FashionJunkie has kicked SeesawBih

Memekuro: put gerard back

Togami: This sucks. Goodbye.

Togami has left fingers in his ass

purplelesbian: off to a great start

donutz: is no one gonna add toko back?

Memekuro: idk

MikuV2 has added natyurichild to fingers in his ass

natyurichild: bruh

FashionJunkie: WELCOME BACK TO HELL TOEKO

natyurichild: fucking junkhoe

natyurichild: junkhoe enoshitma

natyurichild: leoff cuntwata

natyurichild: ahoei assahina

natyurichild: byakubitch shitgamoney

natyurichild: kyocunt shittygiri

natyurichild: sayacum maishitno

natyurichild: kiyotacuck shittymaru

natyurichild: cheerio fujisnacky

natyurichild: shitlestia ludencock

SHSLBullshitter has kicked natyurichild

SHSLBullshitter: you insulted me

SHSLBullshitter: now you die

Memekuro: no u

totallystraight: you literally didnt care when she insulted your gf

SHSLBullshitter: eh 

baseball: she’s celestia, junko’s girlfriend, what else do you expect from her

purplelesbian: im back

purplelesbian: chatted a lil bit with the 79 kids

purplelesbian: brb backreading

purplelesbian: im going to have to speak with touko tomorrow

Memekuro: ur my bro but hurt her n ill hurt you

totallystraight: but its bros b4 hoes, man

Memekuro: r u implying toki’s a hoe?!

totallystraight: what if i am bro?!

Memekuro: square up bro!

purplelesbian: bros dont fight bros

donutz: im still surprised that ikusaba and toko are dating

420blazeit: theyre a weird couple but its kinda cute

Taka: Bros! Please don’t fight!

Memekuro: but bro

Memekuro: he said she was a hoe

Taka: But Mukubro! Its not right to fight bros!

purplelesbian: brotaka is right

FashionJunkie: holy fuck you guys are turning into soda and his brodam

purplelesbian has changed 4 nicknames

Brotaka: Nice!

Mukubro: pretty bomber head

Mondbro: coolio

420blazeit: your such a mismatch group

Brotaka: *You’re

420blazeit: eh

Kyobro: ikr

SHSLBullshitter: ehhhh all this bro bullshit is boring

Kyobro: but bro

Mondbro: we are only

Brotaka: Having a moment

Mukubro: as bros

Mukubro has changed SHSLBullshitter’s name to Broleste

Mondbro: ew that sounds gross

Mukubro: when you molest a bro, you’re brolesting them

Broleste: thanks i hate it

baseball: im back

Mukubro has changed baseball’s name to Browata

Browata: thanks bro

donutz: r u just gonna change everyone’s names?

Mondbro: yes

Mukubro has added natyurichild and Togami to fingers in his ass

Mukubro has changed 9 nicknames

Brosahina: cool!

Toubro: it could’ve been brokawa but nooo

Toubro: you just had to make it into a name that sounds like toe bro

Mukubro: srry bby

Mukubro has changed Toubro’s name to Brokawa

Brogami: Why?

Brogami: Hah. Mukuro is whipped.

Makobro: I didn’t expect that from byakuya!

Broleste: my name still spunds like molest and im not okay with it

Makobro: spunds

Brokawa: spunds

Junkbro: spunds

Browata: spunds

Maizobro: spunds

Broleste: I THOUGHT WE WERE FAM, MAN

Maizobro: sorry man

Broleste: BRO

Maizobro: oh i have to go bye!

Maizobro is now offline

Broleste: WHAT THE FUCK

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tbh i was gonna make it celeskuro but i was just... celesjunko. I also thought it would be interesting and I’ve had weird ships before so why not


	7. Its CHRISTMAS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is super late lol but its because i was at a wedding yesterday so have this shitty rushed and late christmas special

25 December, 12AM

pantalord: ITS CHRISTMAS!

mysteryguy: holy shit go back to sleep

pantalord: fine -^-

pantalord is now offline

10AM

FedEx is now online

FedEx: merry christmas guys!

’Ass’assin: tis the season to be killing 

PianoGay: mak NO

mysteryguy has changed ‘Ass’assin’s name to BigMak

mysteryguy: big mak

SeesawBih: We should do the BigMac rap..

mysteryguy: YES

FedEx: I WANNA SEE THAT

FedEx: HOLY SHIT WHAT WAS THAT THUD

EmoBoio: oh that was kaito

EmoBoio: dw hes okay

EmoBoio: he rolled off the bed and is now running

EmoBoio: wait nooo

EmoBoio: the bed is cold now ;~;

pantalord: nishishi saihara-chan~ ill warm it up for you~ 

EmoBoio: no thanks

littlewitchacademia: lmao rejected

SHSLCoconut: nyahaha! Mioda-san is stuck!

mysteryguy: what happened

SHSLCoconut: hanginthereibuki.jpeg

SHSLCoconut: we’re decorating the outside and now shes stuck in the lights!

FedEx: angie wtf r u doing? Help her!

SHSLCoconut: dw i freed her after i took that picture!

BigMak: oh god saihara tell your boyfriend to stop screaming that its christmas

EmoBoio: where is he?

BigMak: running around the dorm’s hallways

EmoBoio: on it

EmoBoio is now offline

PianoGay: I cant wait for the party tonight!

BigMak: junko and miu are throwing it its probs gonna be wild

xXx_goldenbrain69_xXx: you betcha!

SeesawBih: Is there alcohol?

xXx_goldenbrain69_xXx: WHAT IF THERE IS U SPINDLY STICK MAN?!

SeesawBih: We are underage. Not to mention a few of our schoolmates are terrible with alcohol.

xXx_goldenbrain69_xXx: I S2G IF U TURN INTO ISHITMARU FROM 78 

SeesawBih: I was merely stating that we are underage not that I was against it.

xXx_goldenbrain69_xXx: FUCK YEAH 

FedEx: we have kiyo’s permission, now we need kirumi’s!

sweepy: I suppose it’ll be good to let loose once in a while.

pantalord: nishishi! Yayyyyyy

sweepy: Don’t drink too much, panta bitch.

sweepy: *Ouma.

sweepy has deleted two messages

FedEx: oof that wasnt even close to ouma

sweepy: Hush.

FedEx: whaADFJAUEBPSASBSUAEUDHUXUDH

FedEx is now offline

mysteryguy: MUGI?!

mysteryguy: KIRUMI WHAT FSISUABAILYEVSYABHELPVSGUWY

mysteryguy is now offline

BigMak: i think i found two dead bodgaudjisajusjsusb

BigMak is now offline

PianoGay: maki are you okay?

sweepy: 

PianoGay: whuhHHAKSIENuwbiakaueu

PianoGay is now offline

SeesawBih: How did we end up like this?


	8. secrets are out lol

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> im so fucking unoriginal. i got this idea while reading chatfics

FashionJunk has joined the chat

FashionJunk has changed 16 names

FashionJunk: have fun my dear underclassmen~

FashionJunkie: a late christmas gift from your dear junko-senpai~

FashionJunkie: byeeee~

FashionJunk has left the chat

cut rantaro’s ahoge: wtf was that

broke tsumugi’s glasses: wtf

glitterbombed sakakura: It seems she has changed our names to something we did.

swam in the fish tank: whoever glitterbombed sakakura, i stan you

has tenko’s bra: Hi hoshi!

swam in the fish tank: wtf

broke tsumugi’s glasses: okay so thats hoshi

swam in the fish tank: yea its me

sniffs himiko’s hat: im not surprised that the midget swam in the fish tank!

swam in fish tank: at least i didnt sniff someone else’s hat

has kokichi’s scarf: okay wtf whos the one who sniffs my hat

sniffs himiko’s hat: oh you have my scarf?

glitterbombed sakakura: Okay, I propose that we change the person’s moniker after their identity has been revealed. That way there is less confusion.

broke tsumugi’s glasses: ill change their names

has tenko’s bra: Angie agrees!

has tenko’s bra: oops

glitterbombed sakakura: So that’s Angie...

broke tsumugi’s glasses has changed has kokichi’s scarf’s name to madokamagica

broke tsumugi’s glasses has changed swam in the fish tank’s name to tennismidget

broke tsumugi’s glasses has changed sniffs himiko’s hat’s name to komamikichild

broke tsumugi’s glasses has changed has tenko’s bra’s name to CultLeader

CultLeader: angie has to go and pray to atua now!!

CultLeader: bye-onara!

CultLeader is now offline

tennismidget: did she seriously type that out

broke tsumugi’s glasses: mhm

has one of maki’s stocking in their dresser: hey guys

broke tsumugi’s glasses: for some reason i have a feeling that isnt kaede

broke one of miu’s inventions is now online

broke one of miu’s inventions: i just backread and wtf angie

broke one of miu’s inventions: why do you have my bra?

broke one of miu’s inventions: waIT

broke one of miu’s inventions: SHIT

tennismidget: quick before miu finds out and uses the spiky purple dildo on her

broke tsumugi’s glasses has changed broke one of miu’s inventions’s name to aikidofeminazi

aikidofeminazi: w h y

aikidofeminazi has changed their name to shialabeouf

shialabeouf: b e e f

cut rantaro’s ahoge: w h y a r e u l i k e t h i s ?

shialabeouf: because

shialabeouf: thank god for beef

broke tsumugi’s glasses: wait who cut my ahoge

cut rantaro’s ahoge: RANTARO

broke tsumugi’s glasses: WHY THE FUCK DID YOU CUT MY AHOGE

cut rantaro’s ahoge: WHY THE FUCK DID YOU BREAK MY GLASSES

cut rantaro’s ahoge: THOSE WERE EXPENSIVE AS SHIT

shialabeouf: hey uhhh guys 

broke tsumugi’s glasses: SHUT THE FUCK UP TENKO THIS IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS

cut rantaro’s ahoge: SHUT THE FUCK UP TENKO THIS IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS

shialabeouf: okay shit

shialabeouf is now offline

broke tsumugi’s glasses: ITS NOT MY FAULT YOU PUT YOUR GLASSES NEXT TO THE ALARM CLOCK

cut rantaro’s ahoge: ITS NOT MY FAULT YOU PUT YOUR HEAD ON MY DESK WHILE I DO A PROJECT THAT NEED S C I S S O R S

broke tsumugi’s glasses: KAEDE YOU BETTER FUCKING MOVE YOUR PIANO OUT OF MY ROOM CAUSE IM MOVING BACK IN

yeetus fetus: oh 

has one of maki’s stockings in their dresser: those two are at it again

has one of maki’s stockings in their dresser: dw everyone they’ll make up after a little bit

yeetus fetus: WAIT WHO ARE YOU

komamikichild: oooo gossip! someone other than mak or kayayday has mak’s stocking!

ruined kaede’s sheet music: repent motherfucker

yeetus fetus: WHAT

ruined kaede’s sheet music: oh yeah, kaede i accidentally stepped on some of your sheet music that was laying around in the room so uuhhhh sorry

yeetus fetus: its okay, maki-chan!

komamikichild: LMAO WTF IS YOUR NAME 

madokamagica: oh my god shiromami is so fucken noisy shut up

madokamagica: at least bicker in a soundproofed room my god

shialabeouf is now online

madokamagica: shit mom caught me swearinv

madokamagica: bye

madokamagica is now offline

ruined kaede’s sheet music: shit man what kinda essay are you typing

yeetusfetus: uhh

glitterbombed sakakura: I suppose it is my job to change names now..

glitterbombed sakakura has changed yeetus fetus’s name to WeebyNewz

glitterbombed sakakura has changed ruined kaede’s sheet music to BigMak

shialabeouf: WHAT WAS THAT, YOUNG LADY?! DID YOU JUST SWEAR?! I DID NOT RAISE YOU TO BE THIS WAY! I...I...I WHAT THE FUUUUICCCKKKMKKK

BigMak: wtf

has one of maki’s stockings in their dresser: tenko????

shialabeouf: jk lol

shialabeouf: oh shit jojo is on now bye

shialabeouf is now offline

cut rantaro’s ahoge: O SHIT JOJO’S BIZARRE ADVENTURE

broke tsumugi’s glasses: YEAAAAA

cut rantaro’s ahoge is now offline

broke tsumugi’s glasses is now offline

WeebyNewz: did

WeebyNewz: did anyone hear those loud thuds?

BigMak: it was the avocado and the weeb

blew up the oven is now online

blew up the oven: Hello! Gonta just got on his phone! What did Gonta miss?

blew up the oven: Oh! That reminds Gonta!

blew up the oven: I accidentally blew up the oven yesterday!

blew up the oven: Gonta is very sorry for that!

glitterbombed sakakura: Ah. Its okay, Gonta.

blew up the oven: Gonta will buy a new oven tomorrow! 

BigMak: how nice

BigMak: unlike a certain purple gremlin

komamikichild: ouCH

komamikichild: I CAN BE NICE

glitterbombed sakakura: And yet you choose not to...

blew up the oven: Anyway, Gonta has to help Ryoma-kun now!

komamikichild: LMAO DID HE GET STUCK IN THE FISH TANK

blew up the oven is now offline

BigMak: i think he did lol

WeebyNewz has changed blew up the oven’s name to 🅱️EE

komamikichild: YES

BigMak: nice

BigMak has changed has one of maki’s stockings in their dresser’s name to gaylock

gaylock: wh

WeebyNewz: why do you have mak’s stocking

gaylock: got mixed up in the laundry

BigMak: yeah i have it back now

komamikichild: the question is: did saihara wear them

gaylock: wh

BigMak: lol did you

WeebyNewz: tbh saihara could probably crossdress and no one would notice

BigMak: holy shit 

BigMak: holy shit

BigMak: saihara

BigMak: i dare you to wear a maid outfit to school tomorrow

gaylock: hhhh im not gonna do that

broke maki’s door: you’d look good in it babe

BigMak: wait

BigMak: KAITO

broke maki’s door: WAIT I CAN EXPLAIN

BigMak: YOU BROKE MY FUCKING DOOR?

BigMak: IT WAS YOU??? WHEN

broke maki’s door: when u were out for a few days...

broke maki’s door: uhh i tried to wake u up for breakfast...

BigMak: I WAS AWAY

gaylock: maki please dont kill him

komamikichild: LOL

broke maki’s door: ik ik but i forgot

broke maki’s door: it was locked so i broke down the door

BigMak: WHY DIDN’T YOU KNOCK? LIKE YOU KNOW, _A NORMAL FUCKING PERSON?????_

gaylock: i mean,,,, are any of us really normal here

glitterbombed sakakura: To be honest, I’m not sure either.

broke maki’s door: oh

broke maki’s door: oops

BigMak: whatever

BigMak: its fixed now anyway

BigMak: you better pay for it tho

gaylock: ill pay

BigMak: k

komamikichild: ok wait how many of us have been #exposed

BigMak: 10 down 5 to go

glitterbombed sakakura has changed broke maki’s door’s name to SpaceJam

cut some of shuichi’s hair is now online

cut some of shuichi’s hair: sup shitlords 

cut some of ahuichi’s hair: kiibo’s out for the day

cut some of shuichi’s hair: dw if he doesnt show up 

gaylock: WAIT WHAT

gaylock: SO IT WAS YOU

cut some of shuichi’s hair: oh shit

cut some of shuichi’s hair: needed it for an experiment

gaylock: my hair >~>

BigMak: bye imma smash with kaede

WeebyNewz: bye guys!!! ^^

gaylock: I DID NOT NEED TO KNOW ABOUT MY BESTFRIENDS’ SEX LIVES

WeebyNewz: o h

WeebyNewz: saihara u have a dirty mind

BigMak: super smash bros ultimate

BigMak: lmao chiaki gonna play as korby

WeebyNewz: korby

gaylock: korby

cut sorm of shuichi’s hair: korby

SpaceJam: korby

BigMak: yes korby

SpaceJam: korby does the succ

BigMak: korby succ 

BigMak is now offline

WeebyNewz: welp bye!

WeebyNewz is now offline

glitterbombed sakakura: Ah. I have to go and help Hanamura with dinner. Goodbye.

glitterbombed sakakura is now offline

SpaceJam: HOLY SHIT IT WAS MOM

cut some shuichi’s hair: YO WTF

SpaceJam has changed cut some shuichi’s hair’s name to junkothesequel

SpaceJam has changed glitterbombed sakakura’s name to SpiderMom

junkothesequel: https://m.imgur.com/gallery/v1TRR

gaylock: 12 down 3 to go

SpaceJam has changed broke tsumugi’s glasses’s name to avocadabra

SpaceJam has changed cut rantaro’s ahoge’s name to weebyzono

gaylock: 14 down

crawls through the vents is now online

crawls through the vents: Good evening.

gaylock: sHINGUJI

crawls through the vents: Hello, Saihara-kun.

junkothesequel: incest boi

SpaceJam has changed crawls through the vents’s name to wincest

wincest: What makes you think I have romantic feelings toward my sister?

SpaceJam: becuz u do

junkothesequel: ^

gaylock: ^

gaylock: wait guys i think hes gay

wincest: ...there are too many misconceptions about me...

gaylock: wait ur not

wincest is now offline

gaylock: wtf

junkothesequel: oh hey sayagay is calling me for dinner bye

junkothesequel is now offline

SpaceJam: dinner is ready lets go shumai!

gaylock: k

SpaceJam is now offline

gaylock is now offline

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonus:
> 
> The Next Day  
> scratched tsumugi’s limited edition idol cd: hey guys!  
> junkothesequel: oh shit we forgot about kiibo  
> weebyzono: EXCUSE ME WHAT THE FUCK


	9. sleepovers, scratched cds and dia’s birthday

junkothesequel: so r u girls ready for the sleepover???

SpiderMom: I already bought a few snacks.

BigMak: i s2g if you girls make me watch romcoms i will kill you

avocadabra: please dont kill tsumugi

SpaceJam: WTF YOU GUYS ARE HAVING A SLEEPOVER

junkothesequel: duh no boys allowed

gaylock: why am i invited then

junkothesequel: wait ur a boy?

SpiderMom: Yes. Yes he is. 

gaylock: y e s

SpiderMom: Kiibo is technically neither, he too is invited.

SpaceJam: oof wtf you guys

BigMak: do n o t fuck the robot

scratched tsumugi’s limited edition idol cd is now online

weebyzono is now online

weebyzono: 

SpiderMom has changed scratched tsumugi’s limited edition idol cd’s name to AmazonKiibo

weebyzono: oof

SpaceJam: oml shes taking it so well

junkothesequel: ikr i thought she would rampage here

weebyzono: kiibo is lucky hes kiibo and that i have three copies of that

BigMak: why the fuck do you have three copies

weebyzono: if something like this were to happen 

gaylock: so uhhh

gaylock: am i still invited to the sleepover

junkothesequel: eh you look like a girl anyway

SpiderMom: Besides, it’ll be quite rude to take back the invitation.

SpaceJam: WHY DIDNT YOU INVITE US

shialabeouf: because you, idiot kaito and little shit kokichi, ruin everything

gaylock: well,,,, kaito doesnt really ruin it

madokamagica: speaking of kokichi

madokamagica: where is he

madokamagica: @komamikichild

madokamagica: @komamikichild

komamikichild is now online

komamikichild: HIZZUH

WeebyNewz: hey kokichi!

komamikichild: hello piano gay!

madokamagica: where were u

komamikichild: pool

madokamagica: why

komamikichild: pushing junko into the pool

Memekuro has joined the chat

Memekuro has changed their name to maklookslikediawredeyes

maklookslikediawredeyes: HAPPY BIRTHDAY DIA KUROSAWA

weebyzono: HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEST AQOURS GIRL *^*

BigMak: happy birthday 2nd best girl

maklookslikediawredeyes: you look like dia

BigMak: ik i might cosplay as her

maklookslikediawredeyes has changed their name to buubuu

gaylock: how did we get from sleepovers to tsumugi’s cds to kokichi pushing enoshima to the pool to dia kurosawa

weebyzono: because dia

WeebyNewz: happy birthday dia-san!

weebyzono: is best girl

avocadabra: ruby is best kurosawa

weebyzono: your opinion doesnt matter avocado

avocadabra: ow

gaylock: well,,,, kanan is cool

BigMak: *yoshiko

weebyzono: **dia

junkothesequel: lol plebs mari is best girl and you know it

avocadabra: tbh i expected maki to have mari as her best girl 

BigMak: how dare

WeebyNewz: If we’re talking about Aqours, I like Riko!

BigMak: yohariko

weebyzono: youyoshi

avocadabra: yoshimaru

komamikichild: tsk tsk! diayoshi all the way!

BigMak: no

BigMak: diamaru is better

avocadabra: i agree

weebyzono: UH NO

weebyzono: sarahdia

BigMak: tbh i expected more from you

WeebyNewz: why dont we all just,,,, chill?? No shipping wars???

BigMak: im very conflicted

BigMak: i want to fight tsumugi but kaede says bot to

weebyzono: we all know honokoto is best

BigMak: sorry kaede

BigMak: KOTOUMI

weebyzono: jk yeah kotoumi ftw

avocadabra: oof dont you have a sleepover

WeebyNewz: yep! Maki and I are on our way to Miu’s dorm!

junkothesequel: tencuck, kirumi, shithara, kiiboy, himikhoe, shittygane and yonyaga are here

junkothesequel: ya better hurry up

SpaceJam: shumai keep me updated!

gaylock: will do

gaylock: theyre here

junkothesequel is now offline

SpiderMom is now offline

WeebyNewz is now offline

BigMak is now offline

weebyzono: lol im staying here

AmazonKiibo: hello!

SpaceJam: you’ve been silent since you got online

AmazonKiibo: oh! Its because Iruma-san asked me to buy more snacks as I was typing so I had to put down my phone!

AmazonKiibo: That said, I’m going to go offline now! The movie is starting!

AmazonKiibo is now offline

SpaceJam: oof

gaylock: ill keep you guys up to date

tennismidget is now online

tennismidget: oh they had a sleepover

maklookslikediawredeyes has changed their name to 1-1

1-1 has left Panta Land

tennismidget: be free

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY BIRTHDAY DIA!!!! Also I got Danganronpa 1 and 2 for Christmas!! I can finally play it myself instead of just watching gameplay videos! YAY


	10. scrEEEEE

2:48 AM, Sunday

komamikichild: 

<https://youtu.be/G8iEMVr7GFg>

BigMak: what the fuck is this

avocadabra: did i just get rick rolled by a fucking screaming ball?

komamikichild: nishishi

shialabeouf: <https://youtu.be/prYrizLYFEw>

BigMak: why the fuck are you memeing with otamatones

avocadabra: oh god now angie is blasting these through her new speakers

BigMak: oof

weebyzono: i see shes putting my gift to good use

shialabeouf:

<https://youtu.be/3Kw1BT6hY9Q>

komamikichild: good job comrade tenko

shialabeouf has changed their name to comrade

BigMak: oh my fucking god angie stop blasting otamatone music through your speakers

avocadabra: she finally stopped

CultLeader: its not over

weebyzono: OH MY GOD YES

BigMak: might i ask how the FUCK you managed to hack the PA system and WHY did play the USSR Anthem

BigMak: it is TWO IN THE MORNING

comrade: OMFG IKUSABA IS SINGING ALONG

CultLeader: :3

komamikichild: :3

weebyzono: :3

CultLeader has added Chihibro

Chihibro has changed their name to HackerMan

HackerMan: *hacker voice* im in

BigMak: ah 

BigMak: i forgot about that hacker boy from 78

HackerMan: uH EXCUSE YOU 

HackerMan: hacker MAN

BigMak: you’re a little boy

HackerMan: MAN

BigMak: fine whatever

WeebyNewz is now online

WeebyNewz: why are you guys up so late?

WeebyNewz: and why is the otamamtone version of the soviet anthem playing on the pa system?

CultLeader: it is for mother russia

WeebyNewz: wha

WeebyNewz: wha why is that pewdiepie song playing

WeebyNewz: WHY ARE SO MANY PEOPLE SCREAM SINGING ALONG

WeebyNewz: WHY DID NAEGI-SENPAI BARGE INTO MY ROOM T-POSING AND SAID SUBSCRIBE TO PEWDIEPIE

komamikichild: subscribe to pewdiepie

weebyzono: subscribe to pewdiepie

avocadabra: subscribe to pewdiepie

comrade: subscribe to pewdiepie

CultLeader: subscribe to pewdiepie

junkothesequel is now online 

junkothesequel: sub to pewdiepie

AmazonKiibo: who’s pewdiepie?

junkothesequel: oof brb imma go to your room to teach you

AmazonKiibo: okay!

junkothesequel is now offline

AmazonKiibo is now offline

tennismidget: bitch lasagna

tennismidget is now offline

SpiderMom is now online

SpiderMom: Go to sleep. All of you.

BigMak: forever

SpiderMom: Now.

SpiderMom: And stop playing music through the PA system. People are trying to sleep.

CultLeader: goodnight mum

CultLeader is now offline

comrade: so long comrades

comrade is now offline

WeebyNewz: night, everyone!

BigMak: night kaede

WeebyNewz: night, maki!

BigMak is now offline

WeebyNewz is now offline

avocadabra: buns and chips and souda balanced dips

avocadabra is now offline

weebyzono: oof the pricinpal is gonna kill us tomorrow

SpiderMom: What I’m surprised about is Pekoyama-senpai and Tanaka-senpai singing along to ‘Bitch Lasagna’.

komamikichild: nishishi mom swore!

SpiderMom: Go to sleep.

komamikichild: no

komamikichild: make me cookies

SpiderMom: Go back to sleep, and starve.

komamikichild: :(

komamikichild: MOOOOM WHYYY

SpiderMom: It is 3AM and I am not about to bake cookies for you. Wait until lunch time.

komamikichild: BUT MOOOM

SpiderMom: Go to sleep. :)

komamikichild: o okay

SpiderMom: You too, Shirogane. :)

weebyzono: g goodnight

komamikichild is now offline

weebyzono is now offline

SpiderMom: And don’t think I forgot about you, Fujisaki. Go to sleep.

HackerMan: s sorry ill leave and sleep now

HackerMan has left the chat

SpiderMom: :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonus:  
> 9:36 AM, Sunday  
> avocadabra: oof kirumi using a smiley face is the scariest thing i ever seen  
> weebyzono: ikr


	11. wtf is this chapter

weebyzono: im watching my figure for my new boyfriend

avocadabra: new boyfriend??? That’s news

BigMak: i’ll say

BigMak: what’s his name j a m

Weebyzono: his name..? iz geORGE

BigMak: george what?

weebyzono: george…

weebyzono: George uHHH

avocadabra: *chugs oj*

weebyzono: tROPICANA

SpiderMom: *puts sugar on coffee* What a nice name... Is he Cuban?

avocadabra: *places down empty glass of ohjay*

weebyzono: i mean glass! george glASS

BigMak: that’s funny

BigMak: ive never heard of a george glass at our sküle

Weebyzono: that’s because hes a transfer student

SpiderMom: *drinks sugar with a little bit of coffee*

Weebyzono: he came in the last week of school

Weebyzono: hes really good looking and he thinks im super cool!

BigMak: sure jan

WeebyNewz: w h at

komamikichild: BRADY BUNCH

avocadabra: i read that as brady brunch

gaylock: looking back on it now, there's a lot that's very wrong in that scene

gaylock: first of all,,,,, WHAT IS WITH HER HAIRSTYLE

BigMak: hey thats how it was back then

gaylock: next,,, WHY THE HELL IS THE MOM PUTTING SO MUCH SUGAR ON HER COFFEE

komamikichild: just like the idiot lol

BigMak: yeah what the fuck is the point of getting black coffee when you put a shit ton of sugar in it, _KAITO??????_

gaylock: next,,,, nO ONE CHUGS OJ THAT FAST

weebyzono: that guy and hinata do, apparently

gaylock: next,,,, tHE GLASS JUST CLEANED ITSELF???? LIKE WHAT??? HOW???

junkothesequel: ik you have a lot to say but shut the fuck up for a sec i have a story

gaylock: uH RUDE but sure go ahead

comrade: <https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=99oXBtANvBo>

junkothesequel: tenko what

junkothesequel: SO TODAY I WAS WALKIN ROUND AND I HEARD KUWATA AND SAIHARA TALKING

gaylock: OH GOD WHAT

junkothesequel: SO KUWATA WAS LIKE

junkothesequel: “your eyes are red and puffy as fuck, dude. you been smokin’??” 

junkothesequel: AND SAIHARA RESPONDED WITH

junkothesequel: “no bitch. i be crying. leave me alone”

junkothesequel: SO THEN LEON SAID

junkothesequel: “what? kaito fuck you so hard, you cried?” 

BigMak: that reminds me of the time kuwata had to go to the er because a baseball bat got stuck in his ass

junkothesequel: I REMEMBER THAT

avocadabra: that was ducking hilarious

weebyzono: leon kuwata he likes big bats in his ass

junkothesequel: OKAY MOVING ON

junkothesequel: SAIHARA SAID

junkothesequel: “no. i uhhh just a bit stressed from school is all”

junkothesequel: LIKE UH ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT

junkothesequel: CAUSE I DEFINITELY HEARD AUDIO FROM ‘THE NOTEBOOK’ LAST NIGHT

gaylock: oof

BigMak: exposed

gaylock: okay fine i was watching the notebook

weebyzono: omg lets watch clannad together

gaylock: sad movie/anime night?

weebyzono: sad movie/anime night.

gaylock: no hetero btw

weebyzono: dw man no hetero

BigMak: eh horror movies are better

junkothesequel: personally, i liked titanic

BigMak: what

BigMak: the part where she’s naked and he draws her?

junkothesequel: especially that part where she t-poses to assert her dominance to the sea

WeebyNewz: oof your guess was so off, babe

BigMak: wow that was so off

comrade: i found this <https://youtu.be/d2JtcsTWvtI>

gaylock: i dO NOT

komamikichild: nishishi! Admit it Saihara-chan! You like fingers in your ass!

BigMak: are we still not over that drv3 op thing?

WeebyNewz: its pretty cool how it fits though!

weebyzono: NO STOP BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL AAAAAAAAA

BigMak: hey kirumi can you run on heels

SpiderMom: Yes.

avocadabra: i dare you to race a car 

avocadabra: you’re not driving the car, no.

avocadbra: instead, you running after the car while on heels

SpiderMom: Is this a request or...?

avocadabra: yes its a request 

avocadabra: if you succeed, ill make ouma clean his room

SpiderMom: Its a deal then.

komamikichild: WHAT DO YOU MEAN??? MY ROOM IS PRETTY CLEAN

WeebyNewz: ...

WeebyNewz: kokichi, your room is messier than tsumugi’s attic in her family’s house

WeebyNewz: and its MESSY in there

avocadabra: its pretty much a maze amongst all the cosplaying and design stuff

gaylock: once, i got lost in there and tsumugi’s parents had to fish me out from under all the cloth and stuff

komamikichild: I’M NOT CLEANING MY ROOM >:(

BigMak: how about we give you a prize if you clean it

komamikichild: what prize

BigMak: i wont attempt to kill you for a day and ill give you a case of panta how does that sound

komamikichild: IF kirumi wins

komamikichild: ill clean my room

BigMak: good

SpiderMom: When shall we do the challenge?

avocadabra: tomorrow’s the race

BigMak: whos driving

avocadabra: ill ask mondo

BigMak: kaede should we go to the race?

WeebyNewz: sure! It’ll be fun so why not?

BigMak: im sure itll be even more fun with you

WeebyNewz: awww

junkothesequel: saps

wincest: kukuku

wincest: Its seems there’s a race... I’ll watch.

WeebyNewz: well good luck kirumi!

WeebyNewz: maki and i will be off to go to the arcade! Bye!

BigMak: gl m8

WeebyNewz is now offline

BigMak is now offline

gaylock: waIT HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN LURKING

wincest: Me? 

komamikichild: YES YOU

wincest: I have been here since the beginning.

SpiderMom: Good afternoon, Korekiyo.

wincest: Good afternoon, Kirumi.

junkothesequel: WHAT???? FIRST NAME BASIS?????

avocadabra: FROM THE TWO OF MOST POLITE PEOPLE HERE???? aside from gonta

wincest: Do not worry about the first name basis.

komamikichild: owo whats this? first names???

gaylock: why tho? like this is really weird hearing kiyo calling someone by their first name??

wincest: Don’t worry anout it.

SpiderMom: Don’t worry about it.

junkothesequel: thats fucking ominous

avocadabra: when are they not tbh?

tennismidget is now online

tennismidget: hey

junkothesequel: oi midget why havent you been on

tennismidget: because i actually have a life???

avocadabra: oof

gaylock: ow

komamikichild: BURRNNN

weebyzono has added Tsumikan to Panta Land

Tsumikan: *slaps top of aloe vera* this bad boy can help with burns

gaylock: wha

tennismidget: did the ween teach you how to rp

Tsumikan: *nods*

gaylock: ‘ween’

komamikichild has changed weebyzono’s name to weenie

weenie: this is my final form

weenie: tsumugi weeniegane

Tsumikan: ween

tennismidget: tsumugi shirogane the ween

avocadabra: sounds about right

weenie: id love to stay and chat but this ween has a cosplay to finish

weenie is now offline

avocadabra: the weenie is gone

Tsumikan: my weenie is gone

komamikichild: mikan’s weenie is gone

Tsumikan: no weenie

tennismidget: sad mikan

gaylock: hi what the fuck

junkothesequel: rip in pussy mikan’s weenie 2018-2069

junkothesequel: *2019

Tsumikan: *sad flute noises*

Tsumikan: i have nurse duties to attend to bye

komamikichild has changed Tsumikan’s name to mikan’s weenie

mikan’s weenie has left Panta Land

junkothesequel: mikan and her ween

tennismidget: weenikan

gaylock: w h a t

avocadabra: name a yellow fruit

junkothesequel: orange

gaylock: bye guys i have to go

gaylock is now offline

SpiderMom: I’ll be preparing dinner now. Goodbye.

SpiderMom is now offline

avocadabra: oh my god

tennismidget: the cable turned off

junkothesequel: you shoulda succed that ** dick for free

junkothesequel: i dont have the n word pass, lads

tennismidget: neither do we

avocadabra: hit or miss

junkothesequel: i guess they never miss 

junkothesequel: H U H

tennismidget: you got a boyfriend

avocadabra: i bet he doesnt kiss ya

junkothesequel: M U A H

tennismidget: he gon find another girl and he wont miss ya

avocadabra: he gon skrrt and hit the dab like wiz khalifa

junkothesequel: you play with them ball like its fifa

avocadabra: this is getting kinda boring and author needs to end this

junkothesequel: ya 

tennismidget: farewell lads

avocadabra is now offline

tennismidget is now offline

junkothesequel is now offline

wincest: Humanity truly is beautiful.

wincest is now offline


	12. HBD to our favourite aikido master

SpaceJam has kicked comrade from Panta Land

SpaceJam: gAYS TENKO’S BDAY IS TOMORROW

SpaceJam: yes i did that on purpose

SpaceJam: BUT WHAT SHOULD WE DO

avocadabra: make tsumugi into a plane/helicopter (but preferably plane) and give it to tenko and give her a free flight

avocadabra: or give her a free ride on Shirogane Airlines

SpaceJam: why tsumugi?

weenie: ‘plane tsumugi’

SpaceHam: OH

avocadabra: [planetsumugi.jpeg](https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn%3AANd9GcRRGuWX_BEMbWW0de4ad7gHA1oOdJlYJUJj7amnoEL8Muys6aii)

BigMak: [alittleplane.jpeg](https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn%3AANd9GcSlrIOGemwqYHbSjZaOJ_Rs8Zu7dpqYSzkR1_DckYmP0Mi9zyTG)

junkothesequel: ‘give her a free ride on Shirogane Airlines’ ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

komamikichild: ( ͡☉ ͜ʖ ͡☉)

weenie: i wouldnt mind that ;)

avocadabra: eh do whatever

junkothesequel: remember tsumugi, ‘whatever’ means tenko

avocadabra: :P

weenie: instead of amashiro this is turning into shirobashira

avocadabra: i can totally see you dominating tenko

weenie: hehe

junkothesequel: wait are you really okay with shittygane fucking tencuck??

avocadabra: i mean,,, i dont mind it

avocadabra: besides, it isnt really like we love the people we sleep with romantically

avocadabra: and also tenko’s a good friend of ours so i don’t mind

avocadabra: and also i trust her

avocadabra: and tenko’s too scared to cheat on angie sooo

BigMak: your logic is really weird

avocadabra: eh

junkhoethesequel: OH FUCK YEAH

junkothesequel: DOES THIS MEAN I CAN FICK BOTH O YOU

BigMak: did her

BigMak: did her name jsut change for a minute?

weenie: hush

weenie: also

weenie: we haven’t really slept with anyone other than each other except for that time at the party

SpaceJam: anywayyy WHAT ARE WE SUPPOSED TO DO FOR TENKO

CultLeader: nyahaha! Dw! Gonta and I have been planning a party! 

🅱️EE: Yes! Gonta and Angie bought decorations and gifts for Tenko already!

CultLeader: yes! Angie bought a cake for Tenko-chan! And a new punching bag!

SpiderMom: Ah. I was already planning to bake a cake. 

BigMak: i got her big chungus on the ps4 

SpaceJam: good job guys! shuu lets go shopping later!

gaylock: k

CultLeader its okay kirumi-chan! Two cakes are better than one!

SpiderMom: Very well, then. I shall bake another cake.

AMazonKiibo: whats a chungus?

BigMak: [bigchungus.png](https://media.forgecdn.net/avatars/184/46/636818935108285162.png)

CultLeader: ur a chungus lol

AmazonKiibo: is that an insult?

komamikichild: kiibo: iM SUING YOU rEEEEEE

AmazonKiibo: I’LL SEE YOU IN COURT, KOKICHI

SpiderMom: Kokichi, what did you do?

komamikichild: what dwo ywou mean mothew? i’wve been an angew this whowe twime! UwU

SpiderMom: Get—Get on top of the fridge.

🅱️EE: Why does Gonta hear someone scream ‘This house is a fucking nightmare!’?

SpiderMom: Gonta, honey, don’t say that word.

🅱️EE: What word?

SpiderMom: ‘Fucking’. Its a swear and is very ungentlemanly.

🅱️EE: Oh! Gonta is sorry! Gonta did not know! 

🅱️EE: Gonta promises he’ll never say it again!

tennismidget: pure

tennismidget: also angie where are you putting the cake? Wont tenko find it if you put it in the fridge?

CultLeader: Angie has a mini fridge in her dorm room!

avocadabra: oh cool

WeebyNewz: so its settled then! 

SpaceJam: are we surprising her?

CultLeader: yup! Make sure not to tell tenko

komamikichild: k

BigMak: k

gaylock: kk

avocadabra: k

CultLeader: kk

weenie: kk 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shit i accidentally posted this as chap 11 but i fixed it


	13. Tenko’s birthday

Tenko sighed as she washed her hands. Today was her birthday and nobody seemed to know. No one greeted her happy birthday except Kaede, Gonta and Kirumi. Not even Angie! And Angie was her girlfriend! 

Tsumugi entered the bathroom. “Tsumugi-chan, do you know what day it is?” Tenko asked, slightly hopeful that Tsumugi would notice. 

“It’s the 9th of January, why?” Tsumugi said as she entered a stall. “Nothing.” Tenko dried her hands. She sighed once more.

“What are you sighing about?” Tsumugi asked as she exited the stall. ‘That was quick.’ Tenko thought.

Tenko decided that she would tell the other girl. “Its my birthday and no one seemed to notice...” Tenko’s shoulders slumped.

“...oh. Sorry, Tenko-chan. Happy birthday.” Tsumugi washed her hands. 

“Thanks... I think we should get to class, now..” Tenko said as the bell rung. Tsumugi just nodded and went out of the restroom. Tenko followed suit.

As they got to the classroom door, Tenko noticed that it was unusually quiet. Usually, Kaito and Kokichi would be either arguing loudly or making trouble. Or Maki would be chased Kokichi with a knife. But it was silent. 

As Tenko opened the door, she was greeted by her classmates all by the doorway. 

“Happy Birthday, Tenko!” Everyone shouted. Angie was in the middle of them all, holding a cake that had candles on top. 

“I... thank you!” Tenko grinned. Angie walked up to Tenko. 

“Make a wish.” She said as she smiled and held out the cake. Tenko made a silent wish and blew out the candle. 

“Woo! Now time for cake!” Kokichi said as he grinned and moved his hands towards the cake. The pose reminded Tsumugi of a certain fortune-telling idol.

Kirumi swatted his hands. “Not yet.” “Owwie...” Kokichi rubbed his hands.

”Cake is for good kids. Not Ouma.” Maki said as she wagged her pointer. “Now if you’ll excuse me.” She had a fork out of nowhere and lunged for the cake. Angie moved the cake out of the assassin’s way.

Maki fell face-first on the floor. Kokichi laughed at her. She then slammed her closed fist on Kokichi’s foot. He stopped laughing and clutched his foot yelling in pain. Maki was the one laughing now.

”Maki...” Kaede’s voice sounded a bit disappointed. Maki stopped laughing and shot up. “I am very sorry,” She bowed. “Its okay. Just say sorry to Ouma-kun.” “Sorry.”

Tenko chuckled at the display. “Hah! Whipped!” Miu laughed. Maki glared at her, causing Miu to whimper. “I’ll step on your foot next.” 

“Maki!” “Everyone, settle down. We’re here to celebrate Tenko not fight. Now what should we do next? Eat cake or give Chabashira-san her gifts?” Kirumi asked.

“I’m enjoying this a lot but don’t we have class?” Tenko asked. 

“Kizakura is drunk again. Like always.” Korekiyo shook his head.

”When is he not drunk?” Miu commented. 

“Like, never.” Tsumugi said. Rantaro shrugged.

“Back to the topic. Chabashira-san, would you like to open gifts first or eat cake?” 

“...Eat cake while opening gifts?” Tenko suggested. “Nyeh.. good idea..” 

Angie set down the cake on a desk and Tenko noticed another cake. Kirumi cut a slice, put it on a plate and gave it to Tenko. She did the same to everyone else.

”So..who’s gift should she open first?” Kaito asked. “Nyahaha! Save Angie’s gift for last, Tenko!” 

“Gonta wants to give his gift first!” Gonta raised one of his hands while he balanced his plate with the other. He went to his desk and placed the plate of cake. He then got a box from out of his bag. “Here you go, Tenko-chan!” Gonta smiled as he handed the box to the green haired girl.

”Its a ~~aVoCaDo tHANKS!~~ ~~~~ ~~~~new pair of nunchucks! Thanks!” Tenko said as she held out the nunchucks, grinning. “You’re welcome Tenko-chan! Happy birthday!”

”P-Please don’t swing it around right now..” Kaede said, afraid that Tenko might hit someone.

“Don’t worry. I won’t.” Tenko placed down the nunchucks. 

“I suppose I’m next.” Kirumi went to the closet at the back of the room(shh pretend there is). Everyone stared at her, confused. “Happy birthday, Chabashira-san.” Kirumi walked back and held out a long box neatly wrapped.

“Did you get her a mop?” Ryoma asked. Kirumi shook her head. “You’ll see...” She said as Tenko unwrapped the box. It was.. a box. She then opened the box and was greeted by a new bokken.

“Oh my gosh! How did you know I was gonna buy a new one?” Tenko said as she got the sword out. Tenko examined the sword and by the looks of it, it was probably expensive.

”I’ve been sworn to secrecy..” Kirumi said ominously. 

“Okaaay..? Moving on!” They continued to shower the birthday girl with gifts. Ryoma got her a humidifier.

Maki got her new high end headphones (and big chungus as she promised).

Korekiyo got her an indigo hakama (like Kirumi, when Tenko asked him how he knew she wanted a hakama, he responded the same as Kirumi).

Miu got her hand grips (which everyone was surprised at considering its not perverted until she explained that ‘Tenko needs that grip to keep Angie up while they do sexy time in the shower’ which made Tenko blush and Angie laugh).

Himiko casted a good luck spell on Tenko (when in reality she was just really broke and couldn’t buy Tenko a real gift but Tenko appreciated it, nonetheless). 

Kaito got her a shit-ton of Pokemon cards (cause I mean, who doesn’t like Pokemon?).

Kokichi said that his presence was his present (but in reality, he was the same as Himiko as he spent all his money on Panta).

Shuichi got her a new book.

Tsumugi got her new workout clothes.

Kiibo got her a fully automated shaved ice machine.

Kaede got her cufflinks that Tenko was looking at during their shopping trip a week earlier.

Rantaro got her a new pair of running shoes (Angie helped him pick it out).

And last but not the least, Angie said that she would give her gift to Tenko later. “Ooh.. are you guys gonna have some hot n steamy sexy time?” Miu smirked. “Ooh! That wasn’t one of Angie’s gifts but thanks for giving me the idea!” Tenko did her best impression of a tomato.

”A-Angie!” Soon, the school day and ended and so did the party. 

Everyone went back to their dorms except for a few. Angie invited Tenko to her dorm and said that her gift was there. 

Once they got in, Angie unveiled a life size statue of Tenko. Tenko gasped. She was amazed at how acurate it was. “Woah...H-How long did this take you..?” Tenko examined the statue in amazement. 

“Hm,” Angie thought. “A week-ish.” 

“This—this is amazing! Thank you, Angie!” Tenko tackled Angie into a hug and kissed her. Angie reciprocated. Soon, they were on Angie’s bed, cuddling. 

“Happy birthday, Tenko-chan... I also got you a,” Angie yawned. “Punching bag...” Angie said as they both drifted off to sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> holy shit todays been a bad day for me. so uhhh i posted this p late (for me, cause here its like 21:15, 9th of january rn(and no, thats not my bed time, i sleep way later than that)) because i got caught up playing dr1. a power outage happened while i was playing but luckily, i saved. then, fucking windows decides ‘oh? you’re playing a game? well too fucking bad. imma shut off and update. fuck you.’ then, im fucking stuck in chapter one cause i dont fucking get how the btb in the trial works. then, i got so fucking frustrated, i almost cried. then, you wanna know what my old ass laptop decided to do? fucking turn off. i forgot to save before the btb but im p sure i saved halfway through the trial so thats good i guess. then i fucking find out its because of a clumsy ass bitch who goes by the name ‘AnimeJunkie’. yes. it was me. i accidentally hit the bloody adapter for the laptop and then it somehow unplugged and because my laptop cant fucking function unless its plugged in because the fucking battery is removed, it turned off. then i plugged it in again and tried turning it on but nothings happening. send help. then i decide to take a break and write this. then i took a break to eat. i ate avocado with milk. then i drank water because i added too much milk. then i almost fucking choked. so yeah. shit like this happens all the time to me. either my clumsiness fucks everything up or lady luck just comes and says ‘fuck you’. but i dont have extreme bullshit powers like komaeda. sometimes i trip on air too. kukuku... its my luck as a fallen angel.. jk. also im not really good with this kinda writing style so dont expect chapters like this very often (also im a lazy little shit who gets shitty random ideas from brain farts) feel free to criticize my writing. i bet you cant hate me more than i hate myself.


	14. a boring A/N that you can skip lol

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Uh this isnt an actual chapter you can skip it if you’d like

10/1/19

I’m here to say....

WHAT

this shit has like 25 kudos and 400 smth hits????? what the shit??? how??? yeah uhh t-thanks uwu

yeah 

yeah

i just fucking stuttered in text and said 

u w u

d e a l w i t h i t

i really am surprised that people read this lol

i actually just uploaded this shitty crack chatfic just because i was reading here on ao3 and was like; ‘hey y’know what? wouldnt it be cool to write a story here on ao3? its probably really different than on wattpad. dont you wanna fuckin figure shit out yourself and skip the guide?’ so i did. 

im not really good with talking about feelings so have me trying to convey how happy i am (a sad attempt, really)

how i feel: [I dont know how to communicate with words so click this link](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=LDU_Txk06tM&t=138s)

im allergic to crabs 

also you wouldnt be surprised at how many of these were written at like 2:00 (in the morning since some of you might get confused (assuming that anyone is even reading this)(actually now that i think about it, i live in a country where 12-hour clock is the predominant form of stating time. why do i use 24-hour clock??)

das all

why are you still reading this???

have a copypasta

Lvl.1 crook

⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠄⣌⠻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠋⢹⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⡇⢸⣭⡇⢽⣿⣿⠏⣀⣶⡇⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣾⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣶⣭⣛⢃⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⡛⠈⠛⠁⠙⠉⠛⠿⠛⢟⡿⣿⣷⡝⢿⡿⢻⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣿⡹⠄⢀⣷⣶⣶⣿⣿⣿⣿⣷⣶⡍⠹⡿⠆⠙⣼⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢫⣷⣧⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠄⠄⢀⣴⣶⣏⡛⢿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⢸⣿⣿⠛⠿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠿⠁⠄⠄⣾⣿⣿⣿⡟⣨⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⡘⣿⣿⣧⣀⣀⣹⣏⢀⣀⣀⣀⣠⡄⢸⣿⣿⣿⣿⢀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿ ⣷⣼⣋⠈⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠟⠄⠈⠛⢿⠏⢙⠈⠁⠄⠙⣿⣿ ⣿⣿⣿⠄⠹⠟⠛⠉⠡⠿⣿⡏⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠘⣿ ⣿⣿⠿⠃⠄⠄⣀⡀⠄⠄⠈⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⢹ ⠄⠄⢀⡆⣰⠟⠷⣤⠤⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄ ⠄⢀⠎⠄⠃⢀⠞⠉⢳⣴⣶⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⠄⣀

Lvl.100 boss ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣧⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣿⣧⠀⠀⠀⢰⡿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⡟⡆⠀⠀⣿⡇⢻⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⠀⣿⠀⢰⣿⡇⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⡄⢸⠀⢸⣿⡇⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⡇⢸⡄⠸⣿⡇⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢿⣿⢸⡅⠀⣿⢠⡏⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣥⣾⣿⣿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⣿⣿⣿⡿⡿⣿⣿⡿⡅⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⠉⠀⠉⡙⢔⠛⣟⢋⠦⢵⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣄⠀⠀⠁⣿⣯⡥⠃⠀⢳⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠐⠠⠊⢀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⣴⣿⣿⣿⡿⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠁⠀⠀⠘⣿⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⣠⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣷⡀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣾⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⠋⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⣿⣿⣧⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⡜⣭⠤⢍⣿⡟⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢸⢛⢭⣗⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠁⠈⠀⠀⣀⠝⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠄⠠⠀⠀⠰⡅ ⠀⠀⠀⢀⠀⠀⡀⠡⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠁⠔⠠⡕⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⣿⣷⣶⠒⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢰⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠰⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⢿⣿⣦⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⢠⠊⠉⢆⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢀⠤⠀⠀⢤⣤⣽⣿⣿⣦⣀⢀⡠⢤⡤⠄⠀⠒⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⢘⠔⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⡐⠈⠁⠈⠛⣛⠿⠟⠑⠈⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠉⠑⠒⠀⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀

a gambling gothic twin drilled nico yazawa is called a celestia ludenberg

a cutesy twin tailed idol celestia ludenberg is called a nico yazawa 


	15. MadLibs

komamikichild: gUYS GUYS I MADE A MADLIB

komamikichild: Dear Mr. and Mrs. Level 35 Mafia Boss Sans,  
  
Will you let me yeet your Panta? Ever since I have laid Thicc Thighs on Himiko :3, I have memed madly in love with her. I wish that she will be the Spiky Purple Dildo of my Seesaws and that someday we will Shit happily ever after. I have a massive pp as a Meme Historian that pays $11037 each month. I promise to fuck Himiko :3 with kindness and respect.  
  
Sincerely,  
Level 1 Crook Bum

BigMak: ‘I promise to fuck Himiko :3 with kindness and respect’

avocadabra: if you promise to do that... i suppose i shall allow you to yeet my panta

madokamagica: you better fuck me with kindness and respect

komamikichild: sir yes sir

komamikichild: imma make another one brb

avocadabra: thats gonna take a while

BigMak: 99 bottles of beer on the wall

avocadabra: wtf r u doing

BigMak: killing thyme

BigMak: *time

SpiderMom: thyme.mp4

BigMak: did you just??

BigMak: send a video of you stabbing thyme leaves???

avocadabra: the thyme of death was 11:26

SpiderMom: I killed some thyme.

SpiderMom is now offline

BigMak: moms gone

BigMak: im bored 

avocadabra: lets continue the song

BigMak: k

avocadabra: 99 bottles of beer

BigMak: take one down 

avocadabra: and pass it around

BigMak: 98 bottles of beer on the wall

avocadabra: 98 bottles of beer

junkothesequel: do u guys ever just go on a road trip and like its really long and like half way through the trip ur ass just starts to feel numb?

avocadabra: miu what the fuck

BigMak: ‘its really long’ -Miu Iruma SHSL Slut 2019

junkothesequel: if im the shsl slut ur the shsl bitch

avocadabra: kirumi is shsl mom

avocadabra: kork is shsl creep

avocadabra: im shsl cool guy

BigMak: no 

BigMak: you’re shsl avocado

komamikichild: im baaaack

komamikichild: kuwata from 78 helped w this btw

komamikichild: Dear Fuckawa,  
  
You are extremly T H I C C and I Slam you! I want kiss your Diack 6969 times. You make my Saihara burn with desire. When I first saw you, I Gently stared at you and fell in love. Will you Eat out with me? Don`t let your parents discourage you, They are just jealous.  
  
Yours forever, Shittygiri

BigMak: LMAO

avocadabra: wait isnt kirigiri with maizono

BigMak: a love affair lmao

avocadabra: lmao how would mukuro react

komamikichild: guys gimme an adjective

BigMak: big

komamikichild: k

komamikichild: two celebs

madokamagica: uhhhh pewdiepie

junkothesequel: mia khalifa lol

komamikichild: kk

komamikichild: taro? animal pls

avocadabra: tsumugi in bed

komamikichild: ew dude another one

avocadabra: its joke

avocadabra: panda

junkothesequel: did u kno panda porn exists

BigMak: im not surprised that you do but

BigMak: i do

madokamagica: i do too lmao

junkothesequel: did you just get martied?

BigMak: martied?

junkothesequel: *married

BigMak: oof wait did we

komamikichild: okay noun

madokamagica: wands

komamikichild: k another one

junkothesequel: dick

komamikicgild: great choice lmao

komamikichild: oh but the next one is a body part u could use it

avocadabra: keep it 

BigMak: make the body part dick too

avocadabra: yes

komamikichild: k

komamikichild: leon doesnt know what an adverb is lol

komamikichild: someone go for him

BigMak: quickly

komamikichild: kk

komamikichild: adjective

avocadabra: deep

komamikichild: k

komamikichild: thank u, next

komamikichild: another adverb

komamikichild: nvm kirigiri said ‘every night’

komamikichild: two more adjectives

avocadabra: thick

junkothesequel: large

BigMak: oml you guys make it sound like you’re describing a

komamikichild: gimme a body part bitches

komamikichild: nvm leon said cock

komamikichild: celeste spit out her tea on leon lmao

komamikichild: KIRIGIRI IS LAUGHING HER ASS OFF

BigMak: LMAO

komamikichild: anyway neksttu

komamikichild: one adjectives and two nouns u guys go cus the ppl here are currently disfunctional

madokamagica: small

avocadabra: oreos

junkothesequel: futanari bitch

komamikichild: ADFAHSBSUDIXWNJAGA

komamikichild: LMAO

komamikichild: the last one is person in the room (male) and kirigiri said handsome boi mukuro and mukuro was just just like ‘whuh?’

komamikichild: lmao

BigMak: handsome boi mukuro

avocadabra: wait where are you actually?

komamikichild: dining hall with kirigiri leon mumu-neesan celes and the bum and the egg

madokamagica: yeah tbh shes the handsomest one in there

komamikichild: oUCH

madokamagica: shes also more boyish

BigMak: tmw ur gf thinks ur senior is more handsome and manlier than u are

komamikichild: ;( himiko u hurt me

komamikichild: anyway this is it

komamikichild: My "Dream Man" should, first of all be very Big and Juicy. He should have a physique like PewDiePie, a profile like Mia Khalifa, and the intelligence of a Panda. He must be polite and must always remember to Shit my Wands, to tip his Dick and to take my Dick when crossing the street. He should move Quickly, have a deep voice, and should always dress Every Night. I would also like him to be a Thick dancer, and when we are alone he should whisper Large nothings into my Cock and hold my Small Oreos. I know a Futanari Bitch is hard to find. In fact the only one I can think of is Handsome Boi Mukuro

BigMak: AFDKEISNDIZAISNAO

avocadabra: this is what we created

junkothesequel: LMAO

madokamagica: i am a proud mom

BigMak: Hey guys! This is Kaede! 

BigMak: Maki passed out :/

BigMak: do u guys know why?

madokamagica: scroll up lmao

BigMak: o h

BigMak: LOL

BigMak: anyways bye i have 2 carry mak to her bed

BigMak: bye!

BigMak is now offline

komamikichild: k mak is ded lets continue this irl lol

komamikichild: come to the dinng hall

avocadabra: lol be right there

madokamagica is now offline

junkothesequel: i grabbed the child and now im runninvto the dining hall we’ll be there

junkothesequel is now offline

avocadabra is now offline

komamikichild is now offline


	16. im so fucking done

So uh... should I... continue this..? Actually, here’s why I’m asking this: So I was originally making Chapter 16 after getting an idea while watching a remake of The Spider and The Kitsune-Like Lion.

I finished the chapter. Then, my useless careless self forgot to save. I lost all the data. I let it slide and composed myself. I tried not to yell as it was 2AM. 

I tried to write the chapter again while the idea was still fresh in my mind. My phone was at 5% as I was finishing up. I reached out for my charger. Then guess fucking what? My phone dies. Right when I needed you the most, you neglected me. YOU MOTHERFU— 

~technical difficulties~

Ahem. My phone died. I didn’t save. I was proud of the outcome of the chapter too, for once. But of course, the universe is against me, as usual. 

Should I take this as a sign that it doesn’t want me to continue this?

Life’s been a dick to me lately. The only things keeping me from slamming my head into a wall repeatedly and killing myself, or resetting so to speak, are sugar, games, fanfiction, doujins, hentai and more sugar. Even then, those are only temporary.

When I forget to save and the computer shuts down, I get pissed. When I get all jittery from all that sugar, I get annoyed cause I can play the game properly. When the internet is slow, it bugs me.

I’m overreacting, I know. These are all my fault too. I hate myself for being careless. If only I could be somewhat functional like normal people. If only I could have average luck. Actually, no. Its just clumsiness. Hell, sometimes I even trip on nothing. And how the fuck does that even happen? I dunno. I’ve lost my wallet more times than I could count.

Anyway, I’ve said too much. Point is; should I continue this absolute disaster of a chatfic or should I just abandon this? Please let me know.


	17. another one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> so uhh im continuing this lol

3:35AM, Saturday

weenie: guys does it count as incest if they aren’t blood related

BigMak: what did the skeleton say as he kissed his homie skeleton good night?

BigMak: no hemo

weenie: adfsgshsj

weenie: i dont get it

BigMak: skeletons dont have blood

BigMak: hemo is blood

BigMak: no hemo

avocadabra has kicked BigMak from Panta Land

avocadabra: terrible jokes arent allowed in panta land

weenie: lol no hemo

weenie: but seriously can some1 answer my question?

avocadabra: no

avocadabra: go to sleep

weenie: no

WeebyNewz is now online

avocadabra: r u here to tell tsumugi to go to sleep?

avocadabra: if you are then thnx

WeebyNewz: im not here to tell mugi to sleep

weenie: is it incest if they’re not blood related, wise mak?

WeebyNewz: howd you know i was mak

WeebyNewz: actually nvm

WeebyNewz: its pseudo-incest? or smthn idk

weenie: kay

WeebyNewz: what are you doing step-bro???

avocadabra: omg no

avocadabra has kicked WeebyNewz from Panta Land

komamikichild: oh fuck put it back in

avocadabra has kicked komamikichild from Panta Land

avocadabra: keep it p u r e

weenie: when has it been pure here?

avocadabra: 2 tired to actuay process things stfu

tennismidget: porn memes?

tennismidget: i hope mom and dad don’t find out

junkothesequel: oh fuck yeah spread it

weenie: when you drop the pb jar: oh fuck my spread

junkothesequel: u gonna fuck the spread?

avocadabra has kicked junkothesequel from Panta Land

avocadabra has kicked tennismidget from Panta Land

weenie has changed the chat name from ‘Panta Land’ to ‘Panta Land Dictatorship’

avocadabra has kicked weenie from Panta Land Dictatorship

gaylock: rANTARO YOU NEED TO END THIS

gaylock: yOU HAVE KILLED TOO MANY PEOPLE

SpaceJam: iTS TIME TO STOP

comrade: suck a dicktator

gaylock: a penis potato lol

SpaceJam: i dont get it

gaylock: dictator - dicktater - dick=penis tater=potato - penis potato

SpaceJam: ooohhhh

SpaceJam: lol

gaylock: ok back to revolting

comrade: uhhh idk which side im on cuz he killed kokichi but he killed my friends soo

CultLeader is now online

CultLeader: im late but,,,

CultLeader: looks like you don’t have a lifeguard here at your beach

comrade: im not at the beach,,,, this is a bathtub

gaylock: like romeo and juliet,,, they both die

CultLeader: YOU CANT KILL ME IF I LEAVE

CultLeader has left Panta Land

avocadabra has kicked comrade from Panta Land

avocadabra: oof

gaylock: rip everyone who died

gaylock: mak/kade

gaylock: tsumugi

gaylock: ryomama

gaylock: *looks at smudged writing on hand* slut

gaylock: kuck

gaylock: nyangie

gaylock: and last but not the least,

gaylock: uhhh ten coke bottles

gaylock: yall will be missed

SpaceJam: in the arms of an angel~

abocadabra: no swearing on my christian minecraft server

SpaceJam: holy heck

avocadabra: ur on thin fucking ice

avocadabra: wAIT

gaylock: AHA NOW WE HAVE TO EXECUTE YOU

avocadabra: SHIT

gaylock has kicked avocadabra from Panta Land

SpiderMom is now online

SpiderMom: Good morning, everyone.

SpiderMom: Hello?

SpiderMom: Why am I not surprised that no one is awake?

SpaceJam: KIRUMI WE JUST ER

SpaceJam: ERA

SpaceJam: ERADIC

SpiderMom: Go on, take your time.

SpaceJam: WE JUST KILLED THE EVIL

gaylock: EPIC

SpiderMom: What do you mean by that?

SpiderMom: Why is Kaito awake at 6AM?

SpiderMom: Did something happen?

SpiderMom: Why is the chat name ‘Panta Land Dictatorship’?

gaylock: rantaro happened

SpaceJam: ^

gaylock: scroll up

SpiderMom: Oh.

SpiderMom: I don’t see why you had to fight.

SpiderMom: You could have just prevented the ‘killings’ by kicking Rantaro in the first place.

wincest: But its much more interesting, no?

SpaceJam: hell yeah dad

SpiderMom: ...Okay...?

SpiderMom: I should start cooking breakfast now...

SpiderMom: Farewell.

SpiderMom is now offline

SpaceJam has added WeebyNewz, BigMak, junkothesequel, tennismidget, CultLeader, weenie and comrade to Panta Land

tennismidget: ah

BigMak: who knew an idiot could end a dictatorship?

junkothesequel: ya smell that?!

junkothesequel: that

junkothesequel: is

junkothesequel: the

junkothesequel: smell

junkothesequel: of

weenie: weenie

junkothesequel: freedom

tennismidget: smells like weenie

BigMak: smells like weenie

wincest: And here I thought, Rantaro, Maki and Ryoma were one of the sane/sensible ones...

gaylock: ryoma swam in a fish tank. who does that?

gaylock: maki rode a cart and destroyed a whole wall of shelves and merchandise, whats sane about that?

gaylock: rantaro is dating tsumugi, how is that sensible?

weenie: oUCH

junkothesequel: yeah shittygane might be hot as shit but shes weird as hell

weenie: owwie ywou just bwoke my fwagiwe weenie hawt

weenie: my weenie heawt... ;w;

BigMak: crush it

BigMak: shatter it

BigMak: burn it

BigMak: feed it to the vultures

weenie: ónò

weenie: pwease dont

gaylock: lalala cant hear you over the jackhammer im using to destroy your heart

weenie: yall are mean ò3ó

junkothesequel: welp i smell pancakes bye

junkothesequel is now offline

weenie: there better be blueberries

weenie is now offline

tennismidget: famous last words lmao

BigMak: holy shit kaede is so cute when shes sleeping

BigMak: slepygf.jpeg

gaylock: sleeping kaito is cuter

BigMak: imo ur opinion is shit

gaylock: its not an opinion its a fact

SpaceJam: awww bby <333333

gaylock: <33333333333333

BigMak: thats gay

gaylock: ur mom gay

BigMak: ... im an orphan

gaylock: shit i forgot

gaylock: sorry fam

BigMak: its cool

BigMak: as long as you give me fries

gaylock: Error 404: Fries not available

BigMak: -_-

BigMak: still taking your fries at lunch

gaylock: DO NOT

BigMak: nobody stops just because you tell em to

SpaceJam: wise words of maki

BigMak: jk you cool fam

BigMak is now offline

gaylock: well,,, i guess we should go too, kaito

SpaceJam: yeah,,

wincest: Why are you chatting here instead of talking normally? You’re next to each other right?

gaylock: ...how do you know this..?

wincest: ...

wincest: A lucky guess.

gaylock: SHINGUJI WTF

wincest is now offline

SpaceJam: HOW DID YOU FIT IN THE VENTS

gaylock: YO IM LEAVING

SpaceJam: ME TOO LETS GO

gaylock is now offline

SpaceJam is now offlineK


	18. the conversation just drifts from one topic to another

SpiderMom: Good evening, everyone.

weenie: omg reading ur name reminded me of something

SpiderMom: Huh?

comrade: this? <https://youtu.be/TLwYwWlFaVA>

weenie: no something else

BigMak: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

comrade: aishite aishite aishite aishite aishite aishite aishite aishite aishite aishite aishite aishite aishite aishite aishite

🅱️EE: Oh! That’s the one Iruma-san was singing earlier!

SpiderMom: I was curious and clicked the link. Chabashira-san, what?

SpiderMom: Oh no. Gonta, did you watch it?

🅱️EE: Huh? Yes! Gonta did! What’s the matter, Tojo-san?

SpiderMom: Gonta, please never click any and I say ANY link coming from Shirogane, Chabashira, Ouma, Hoshi, Harukawa OR Yonaga. P L E A S E

gaylock: why hoshi?

SpiderMom: they might use him as a vessel.

🅱️EE: why? What’s wrong?

SpiderMom: We need to keep the child pure.

🅱️EE: But... Gonta is not a child..? Gonta is 17?

SpiderMom: drop yer phone and run

🅱️EE: Huh?

SpiderMom: do it

🅱️EE: Okay! Gonta will be back later!

🅱️EE is now offline

SpiderMom: Now, Chabashira-san, w h y?

tennismidget: why is kirumi mumbling yurusan yurusan yurusan over and over again?

gaylock: ladies and gentlemen,,,

gaylock: we got em

comrade: one of us

weenie: one of us >:3c

SpiderMom: NO

BigMak: o n eo fu s

SpaceJam: cmon kirumi

SpaceJam: join the dark side

weenie: holy shit kitsune-like leon

SpaceJam: holy s h i t

SpaceJam: lets make him dress like a kitsune

WeebyNewz: WHEN I SAID I SHIPPED GUMI AND MIKU I DIDNT MEAN THIS

BigMak: join us babe

junkothesequel: holy shit this song is catchy as hell lets make a cover of it

weenie: kay

junkothesequel: cum to the dark side

gaylock: join us in gumiku vore hell

SpiderMom: Iruma-san did you do that on purpose?

junkothesequel: LOL i wish twas autocorrect

SpiderMom: And now I understand why Amami kicked you all earlier...

WeebyNewz: ;~; im scarred

BigMak: pls dont cri

WeebyNewz: i wish i was a non japanese speaker and i didnt know the meaning of the lyrics,,,, then i could enjoy the song without being scarred for life

gaylock: Its upbeat and catchy thats why Kaito likes it

BigMak: woah kaito got through the video?

BigMak: thats news

gaylock: he didnt watch it but just listened to the song

BigMak: imo it wasnt THAT gorey

SpaceJam: thats cuz ur a horror enthusiast

tennismidget: yeah youre just a pussy

SpaceJam: sHUU THEYRE BULLYING MEEEE

gaylock: dont listen to them, kaito

gaylock: you might be a pussy but i still love you

weenie: and they say romance is dead

comrade: how was that supposed to make him feel better

tennismidget: its kaito

BigMak: how romantic

SpiderMom: Actually, I came here to talk to you all about something.

weenie: hit it mum

SpiderMom: Who here likes tied up girls in school uniforms?

wincest: I do believe that wasn’t a very good way to ask about the magazine but you do you.

tennismidget: tsumugi

BigMak: tsumugi

comrade: miu or tsumugi

gaylock: miu and tsumugi

SpaceJam: miu

junkothesequel: thats kinky mom

SpiderMom: Tsumugi, I found your R-18 doujin under the couch in the rec room while I was cleaning up.

weenie: you mean the one with a black haired girl with a hime cut in a uniform tied up on the cover?

SpiderMom: Yes.

weenie: thats not mine

weenie: you should ask the 78 or 77 kids not me

SpiderMom: Its quite hard to believe that its not yours but okay.

weenie: dont talk to taka about it tho u kno how he is

tennismidget: dont taka bout it

SpaceJam: n i c e

BigMak: nice

SpiderMom: Have a day.

SpiderMom is now offline

weenie: just a day?

gaylock: at least its a day

BigMak: its not even day time tho

WeebyNewz: Oh right! Mugi what were you talking about earlier?

WeebyNewz: When you said something about Kirumi’s username?

weenie: oh yeah i found a spider and trapped it in a cup this morning

junkothesequel: hey uhhh it didnt happen to be an opaque blue cup right?

weenie: it was lol

junkothesequel: shit

BigMak: WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT SCREAM

gaylock: THAT WAS KAITO

gaylock: WE FOUND THE SPIDER

gaylock: I REPEAT WE FOUND THE SPIDER

weenie: shit

tennismidget: gotta burn down the dorms now

BigMak: did you kill it?

gaylock: WE BLASTED OUT OF THERE

gaylock: FUCK YOU MEAN WE KILL IT???

gaylock: YOU DO THAT

BigMak: ok

BigMak: whered you find it?

BigMak: shuichi?

BigMak: shuichi???

gaylock: ITS IN REC ROOM

BigMak: k be right there

BugMak is now offline

comrade: the fuck did you do miu?

junkothesequel: ehhh uhhh i shit it with my nerf gun

comrade: ew you shit it? really?

junkothesequel: SHOT

WeebyNewz: dw maki will kill it!

tennismidget: this conversation turned many different ways


	19. idfk

weenie has added komamikichild and avocadabra to Panta Land Dictatorship

komamikichild: took you long enough >:(

weenie: it was only a day oom

komamikichild: hi am oom

weenie: yes oom

komamikichild has changed their name to oom

oom: oomizoomi

weenie: team umizoomi lol

weenie: wAIT HANAYO’S BIRTHDAY

weenie: oml i cant believe i forgot pana’s bday

oom: rip pana

oom: even author forgot

weenie: oml oom the fourth wall

oom: mURDERED

BigMak is now online

BigMak: *body discovery announcement plays*

weenie: okay but can we talk about how irl maki’s all: 😒 and in chat she’s all: 🤪😂😂

BigMak: <https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=IkDwacixu48>

BigMak: suffer

weenie: i wanna kill myself bc of this but its such a bop at the same time wtf??

oom: tru 

weenie: trudeau

oom: hes p hot ngl

weenie: ikr

wincest: arent you guys in relationships?

weenie: that doesnt stop us from calling ppl hot

BigMak: ^

weenie: wAIT SINCE WHEN HAVE YOU BEEN HERE

wincest: .

BigMak: let him be

BigMak: ngl sayo hikawa is best hikawa you guys know that

BigMak: ignore that ^

weenie: how dare

weenie: hina hikawa is best girl

weenie: wait where were you supposed to send that

BigMak: just a bandori chat made for bandori

weenie: i wanna join

BigMak: @tennismidget can i add her

weenie: YO WAT HOSHI IS OP IN THAT CHAT?

tennismidget: got a problem?

oom: HOW THE FUCK DO YOU PLAY IT??? UR HANDS ARE SO TINY

tennismidget: fuck off its magic

BigMak: he uses an ipad lol

oom: i bought an ipad now ibroke

weenie: apple is too expensive

weenie: at least when i throw an android across the room, it wont be completely obliterated

BigMak: wtf who throws their phone across the room

weenie: me

oom: wtf

weenie: dont fucking question me you cunts

oom: cunt

BigMak: cun

weenie: wtf is this

BigMak: shh play along

weenie: ok? con?

oom: cont

BigMak: contour

oom: bonjour

weenie: banjo

BigMak: ban

oom: bun

weenie: bum

BigMak: burn

oom: burr

weenie: purr

BigMak: sir

weenie: ‘Aaron Purr, sir?’

BigMak: aaronpurr.jpeg

oom: JSJSJSSKSKSSKSKSK

BigMak: pardon me, are you aaron burr, sir?

weenie: that depends. who’s asking?

BigMak: oh well sure sir. im alexander hamilton, at your service, sir.

oom has started a call

wincest has joined the call

oom has joined the call

weenie has joined the call

BigMak has joined the call

KOkichi: BUMBADABUM BUM

Tsumugi: bANANA

Maki: How does a ragtag volunteer army in need of a shower,

Tsumugi: (You stank.)

Maki: Somehow defeat a global superpower?

Kokichi: *makes random ‘beatboxing’ noises to resemble music*

Tsumugi: *claps to the tune of Guns and Ships*

Maki: How do we emerge victorious from the quagmire?

Tsumugi: Giggidy.

Maki: Leave the battlefield, waving Betsy Ross’ flag higher?

Tsumugi: Yo, turns out we have a secret weapon

Tsumugi: An immigrant you know and love who’s unafraid to step in

Tsumugi: He’s constantly confusing, confounding the British henchmen

avocadabra has joined the call

Tsumugi: ERRYONE GIVE IT UP FOR AMERICA’S FAVOURITE FIGHTING FRENCH FRY!!

Kokichi: *beatboxing intesifies*

Maki: Lafayette!

RAntaro: I’m taking this whore by the reins making redcoats redder with bloodstains!

Maki: Llama get!

Rantaro: And I'm never gonna stop until I make ‘em drop and burn ‘em up and scatter the remains  
I'm—

Maki: Large baguette!

Rantaro: Watch me engaging ‘em, escaping ‘em, enraging ‘em ow!

Maki: Lunar set!

Rantaro: I go France for more funds. I come back with more buns,

Rantaro, Tsumugi and Maki: And chips! And soda balance dips.

Rantaro: We ren-whatever with Roachy-boo.

Rantaro: Consolidate theirs gifts.

Rantaro: But for this to succeed there’s someone else we need I know,

Kokichi: Horny Man!

Maki: *does what Kokichi was doing earlier*

Rantaro: Sir, he knows what to do in the trench

Rantaro: Ingen-something and fluent in French.

Rantaro: I mean

Kokichi: Hammock Dad!

Rantaro: Sir you’re gonna have to use him eventually

Rantaro: What’s he going to do in the bench I mean

Kokichi: Ham in Sam!

Rantaro: No one has more resilience  
Or matches my practical, tactical brilliance

Kokichi: Man in sand!

Rantaro: You want to fight for your land back?

Rantaro: I need my right hand man back 

Tsumugi: Ah uh, get your right hand man back 

Maki: You know you gotta get ya right hand man back

Rantaro: I mean, you gotta put some thought into the letter but the sooner the better

Tsumugi: To get your right hand man back 

Kokichi: Alexander Homie Jam... troops are waiting in the field for you.

Kokichi: If you join us now, together we can turn the tide~

Kokichi: Oh~ Salamander Saladman.. I have soldiers that will yield for you..

Kokichi: If we manage to get this right, they surrender by early light~

All of them: THE WORLD WILL NEVEEERRR BEEEE THE SAAAAMEEE!!!

Kokichi: ALEXANDER~~~

Rantaro: Why did you say it in a seductive tone..?

Tsumugi: Because why not?

Rantaro: Okay...? Well bye.

avocadabra has exited the call

avocadabra is offline

Maki: I have to go too now. Bye.

BigMak has exited the call

BigMak is now offline

Tsumugi: Bye bro.

Kokichi: See ya, bro.

weenie has exited the call

weenie is now offline

oom has exited the call

oom is now offline

Korekiyo: Hm... I wonder how they didn’t notice me...

Korekiyo: Interesting...

wincest has exited the call

wincest is now offline


	20. <insert title here>

weenie: hewwo

tennismidget: help

tennismidget: im serious send help

tennismidget: am stuck

weenie: why tf are you stuck

weenie: and where

tennismidget: its hard to type 

tennismidget: im in a locker

tennismidget: like a tiny shoelocker

weenie: how tf do you get in there

oom: its hoshi! hes tiny!

oom: he might even be able to crawl into a vaj if he wanted!

BigMak: imagine hoshi crawling inside coochie like someone would with a cave

junkothesequel: hed still be crawling in a cave tho

junkothesequel: the dragon’s cave

BigMak: coochie cave

oom: a cockpit

junkothesequel: cOCKPIT LMAO

oom: cum bucket

BigMak: i still cant get over how close that is to chum bucket

oom: the slot machine

BigMak: inside the slot machine, every month for a few days, satans waterfall opens

weenie: WHICH LOCKER HOSHI

weenie: ARE YOU DEAD

tennismidget: get me tf outta here

tennismidget: ew 

tennismidget: theres a fucking spider behind me

tennismidget: GET ME THE FUCK OUTTA HERE 

tennismidget: SOMEONE

weenie: I FOUND YOU

BigMak: oof

tennismidget: COME SAVE ME

junkothesequel: you guys are messaging so much im gonna put my phone down my pants

BigMak: ##nsfw##

tennismidget: WHY ARE YOU WALKING AWAY

weenie: I NEED TO GET THE KEY FRM CHISA

tennismidget: MIU WHAT

oom: are we helping her fap???

BigMak: bro

junkothesequel: spam me you motherfuckers

BigMak: bro

oom: bro

junkothesequel: DO IT

weenie: I GOT HOSHI OUT

tennismidget: t hanks

SpiderMom: Why is it that everytime something happens its always you five? Thank god neither Yonaga nor Momota are here...

oom: because

CultLeader is now offline

SpiderMom: fucking hell

CultLeader: YAHA~ are we helping miu fap???

oom: yes

BigMak: because we’re at that level of life where we stoop that low and spam someone we know so they can use their phone as a vibrator

oom: OOF SHE DIDNT EVEN CALL YOU A FRIEND

junkothesequel: whatEVER JUST FUCKING SPAM ME YOU DICKS IM BORED AS SHIT

SpiderMom: This is disgusting and I am leaving.

SpiderMom has left the chat

junkothesequel: ok now that shes gone lets make a plan to prank her

weenie: waIT WHAT 

weenie: DID YOU GUYS JUST MAKE A RUSE TO GET KIRUMI OUT

gaylock: that they did

weenie: YO WAS HOSHI GETTING STUCK A RUSE TOO

tennismidget: no i genuinely was stuck

gaylock: why didnt you guys just make a new chat or kick kirumi out of this one?? 

gaylock: why did yall have to do something so grand just to get her to leave???

oom: but saihara-channnn we gotta do it with a bang!

BigMak: go big or go homo

BigMak: *home

gaylock: mood

weenie: OMIGOD WHO WAS THAT THROUGH THE INTERCOM

junkothesequel: enter cum

BigMak: ‘uhh mic test fuck this pussy boi fuck it... mic pass. uhh theres a fucking pig on the loose on campus so uhh if anyone sees it please return to gundham’

oom: it was panta lol

oom has added GundhamTops to Panta Land

oom: welcome panta!

weenie: LMAO GUNDHAMTOPS

GundhamTops: ibuki changed my name to this okay?? idk why it wont let me change it

GundhamTops: soo uhh have you guys seen a smol pig around here??

junkothesequel: nope

BigMak: hoshi looks a bit like one 

BigMak: does he count

tennismidget: oKAY OUCH

WeebyNewz is now online

WeebyNewz: That’s not nice, Maki...

BigMak: when am i nice?

WeebyNewz: maki,,, please be nice

BigMak: i...

BigMak: .

gaylock: oof man down man down

BigMak: i am very sorry for my actions

BigMak: please forgive me 

GundhamTops: man,,, sometimes your even worse than mondo

BigMak: .............

weenie: dots

BigMak: ow im not as whipped as him

WeebyNewz: well,,, mondo kun is a bit whipped..

WeebyNewz: well,, bye!!

WeebyNewz: be nice, maki-chan! i dont want you getting into any fights and getting burt

WeebyNewz: love you <3 :3

WeebyNewz is now offline

BigMak: dw i wont get burt

GundhamTops: burt lmao

tennismidget: that was gay lmao

BigMak: ur gay

tennismidget: thats true

oom: hey hey! can we trade miu for chiaki?

GundhamTops: dude wtf

GundhamTops: thats such an unfair trade

BigMak: no its a pretty good trade

GundhamTops: FOR YOU

junkothesequel: OW JESUS YOU GUYS

junkothesequel: I THOUGHT WE WERE FAM

junkothesequel: NOW UR JUST GONNA TRADE ME FOR ONE SLEPY TIT MONSTER??

gaylock: you guys can have kokichi too while you’re at it

gaylock: maybe maki too

gaylock: a three for one deal how does that sound

GundhamTops: YO FAM WHY ARE YOU SENDING ALL THE DELINQUENTS TO US

GundhamTops: IF THATS HOW U WANNA PLAY HOW BOUT SAIONJI AND KUZURYUU FOR AMAMI AND TOJO

weenie: why would we trade mom for a bunch of kids??

GundhamTops: WHY WOULD WE TRADE CHIAKI FOR A BUNCH OF WEIRDOS???

BigMak: uhhh says you

junkothesequel: IM NOT A WEIRDO 

oom: no u

weenie: is there even anyone remotely normal here in hopes peak??

gaylock: hmmm nope just a bunch of weirdos

GundhamTops: maizono’s somewhat normal

gaylock: is taking a nap in your girlfriends shirt normal

GundhamTops: i mean yeah

GundhamTops: i go to sleep in gundham’s shirt all the time

gaylock: no i mean while kirigiri was wearing it

gaylock: like she just slips in the shirt on top of kirigiri while she was sleeping

GundhamTops: well its not as weird as kokichi going to school in a magical girl outfit and running around screaming for no reason so its still kinda valid

gaylock: also she did that before they were even dating

gaylock: but yeah even maizono has done really questionable things and shes p weird too

gaylock: that reminds me arent you guys planning to prank kirumi

junkothesequel: dw we chatted in a separate chat (0w0)b

weenie: w ha t was ge tting kirumi out even f o r?????

BigMak: sometimes i question why im here and friends with you

oom: awww we love you too harumaki-chan <3

BigMak: i know

BigMak: i dont return the sentiment tho

oom: oUCH

gaylock: wait wheres angie and ryoma

CultLeader: oh dw about angie!

CultLeader: she was just hiding a body!

CultLeader has deleted 1 message

gaylock: aNGIE WHO DID YOU MURDER

CultLeader: d o n t w o r r y a b o u t i t s a i h a r a - k u n

gaylock: iM SCARED

gaylock: IM GOING BYE

gaylock is now offline

oom: yonyaga! ur back!

CultLeader: wait u guys dicussed the prank without me

junkothesequel: dw ill text you the details

junkothesequel: and everyone too

junkothesequel: except kirumi

junkothesequel: BAI

junkothesequel is now offline

oom: moms gonna b so confused!!

BigMak: true

BigMak is now offline

oom: she died????

GundhamTops: anywayyyy gotta go we found the pig now

GundhamTops: cya

GundhamTops has left Panta Land

oom: i’d heard there was a secret chord

oom: that david played and it pleased the lord

oom: but you don't really care for music, do you?

oom: well, it goes like this

oom: the b, the a, the minor n, the major a

oom: the baffled king composing ur mom gay  
Hallelujah, Hallelujah  
Hallelujah, Hallelujah

wincest: That wasn’t even remotely funny, Ouma-kun.

oom: DAD WHAT THE FUCK

oom: BYE

oom is now offline

wincest: Bye.

wincest is now offline


	21. Operation: TPFBDBGG

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so uhh this is really late but HBD GONTA!!!! pure boi. ive been busy lately (yes i actually have a life who woulda thought) that and i forgot it was gonta’s birthday... sorry my cinnamon roll. i have disappointed you. but yeah have this shitty rushed and late chapter. hope y’all enjoy

SpaceJam has added gaylock, oom, BigMak and 11 others to Unnamed Chat

SpaceJam has named the chat Gonta’s Birthday!!

SpaceJam: GAYS GAYS GAYS

SpaceJam: GONTA BDAY

BigMak: his birthday was fuckin two days ago

SpaceJam: WELL HES COMING BACK TODAY AND WE COULDNT CELEBRATE W HIM SO NOW LETS HAVE A PARTYYYYY

SpaceJam: LET US CELEBRATE THE CINNAMON ROLL

oom: hey how much sugar did the idiot take

SpaceJam: I DUMPED A BUCKET OF SUGAR IN MY COFFEE

BigMak: wtf the point of having a black coffee if ur gonna drop a shit ton of sugar

WeebyNewz: kaito’s right u guys! lets have a party for gonta

tennismidget: lmao im already planning a party

avocadabra: please dont say that ur gonna let out a bunch of bees

tennismidget: no why would i do that

avocadabra: nvm

weenie: lmao im kinda grateful neither kokichi nor maki remember ppls birthdays bc that sounda like somtging theyd do mol

avocadabra: whats with the typos

weenie: its hard to type woth one hand

weenie: specially if itz not my dominant one

SpaceJam: how tfff

weenie: i fell off my chair laughing at this

weenie: [diawantsass.jpeg](https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn%3AANd9GcR-ASchB9aM9bZOWuxCGSxFQ5c0adRGHicAnZZOJzYVnylSJ29f)

SpaceJam: get your weeb shit outta here WERE PLANNING ON CELEBRATING OUR BOI GONTA

AmazonKiibo is now online

AmazonKiibo: Hi friends!

BigMak: bold of you to assume im your friend

AmazonKiibo: O oh! Im sorry, Harukawa-san! A are we not friends...?

BigMak: i,,,,

BigMak: fuck

BigMak: okay fine we’re friends

oom: awww harumaki-chan u big gay tsuntsun

BigMak: except kokichi fuck you

SpaceJam: OKAY OKAY BACK TO PREPARATING

tennismidget: like i said im already planning one u guys could help and buy decoration since moms handling the cake again and im gonna pick up gonta and were going on a date

tennismidget: im bringing him back at around 3 so you guys need to finish and be hiding by then

tennismidget is now offline

weenie: hey why do these bday chaps seem repetitive???? like we did this for tenks bday too

oom: cuz the author is a lazy piece of shit

conrade: ^

BigMak: the author is the god of procrastination

SpaceJam: w hat the fuck do you guys mean???

oom: dont worry about it

BigMak: stop questioning and actually help out with the prepping

weenie: im injured so im pretty much useless

oom: since when were you useful??

weenie: oW 

weenie: FUCK YOU IM GONNA CONTINUE REWATCHING FAIRY TAIL NOW BYE

weenie is now offline

gaylock: okay i actually bought gifts already but i couldnt give em to gonta 

gaylock: im gonna help out mom with the food bye

SpaceJam: bye bro <3!

gaylock: bye kaito <3

gaylock is now offline

WeebyNewz: alright!! im helping with the food too! bye now! 

WeebyNewz: maki-chan i left a 100 bucks on our drawer so you can buy the deco, kay?

BigMak: kay

WeebyNewz: bye now! love you! ^w^

BigMak: love you too

WeebyNewz is now offline

oom: you guys act like a married couple lol

SpaceJam: aww im so happy to see my friends being all lovey dovey

SpaceJam: BUT WE NEED TO BUY DECORATION STUFF

BigMak: wait whats hoshi gonna do

BigMak: nyangie, kichi, me and you are gonna buy some deco. kae, mom, shuu, dad and kiibo are cooking. moogie is crippled, tenko, miu and taro are incharge with drinks and the small magician is going with them to buy stuff for entertainment.

BigMak: what the fuck is hoshi doing

madokamagica: MAGE

BigMak: tomato tomato

BigMak: potato i dont give a shit

SpaceJam: distraction!!

BigMak: oh ok

AmazonKiibo: Woah! How did you know who was gonna help with what?

BigMak: i am sitting next to everyone who is not in the kitchen/hoshi and we discussed it

AmazonKiibo: Oh! Okay!

SPaceJam: anywayyyy its 9AM lets get to work ppl!

BigMak is now offline

AmazonKiibo: Bye!

AmazonKiibo is now offline

SpaceJam: OPERATION: TPFBDBGG IS A GO!

oom: what does that mean

SoaceJam: Throw Party For Birthday Boy Gonta Gokuhara

oom: you suck at making plan names

oom is now offline

SpaceJam: HEY

SpaceJam is now offline


	22. amami is done with everyones shit

gaylock: im cr y ing ive been singing exes and hoes then i read the lyrics o m g

CultLeader: LMAO EXES AND HOES

weenie: rip

avocadabra: u a stupid hoe

gaylock: ALL THIS TIME

gaylock: ALL THIS TIME

gaylock: NO ONE TOLD ME IT WAS EXES AND OH’S

SpaceJam: sorry bro didnt know either

gaylock: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

tennismidget: dam that sucks

oom is now online

oom: SMELLS LIKE BROKE IN HERE

BigMak: HES HERE

tennismidget: oh my god

avocadabra: WE GET IT YOU HAVE AIRPODS

oom: unlike you peasants

BigMak: ill smash your head in and your airpods

junkothesequel: s m a s h

oom: smash me harukawa sama

madokamagica: lmao like she would smash someone like u

oom: OW BUT WE SMASH HIMIKO!!!

comrade: YOU HAVE TAINTED MY CHILDDDDDDDD

oom: OH SHIT SHES HERE

comrade: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

madokamagica: ik it might seem like i have terrible choices in partners but ooms is a nice guy

oom: awww <3

madokamagica: sure he might be an ass sometimes but hes just really playful he means well u guys

comrade: X to doubt

comrade: X

comrade: XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

avocadabra: he really can be nice on rare occasions

oom: i have a new idea for a name for kae-chan!!

gaylock: shes not online tho??

BigMak: @WeebyNewz

WeebyNewz is now online

WeebyNewz: whacha need maki-chan?

oom has changed WeebyNewz’s name to 53ShadesOfGay

53ShadesOfGay: i,,,,,

53ShadesOfGay: cool???

53ShadesOfGay: this woulda worked better on someone else tho?? like idk ikusaba??? kuwata??? teruteru???

oom: holy fuck ur right

oom has changed 53ShadesOfGay’s name to BlondeBimbo

BlondeBimbo is now offline

BigMak: have u guys ever heard the sound of an oom breaking a window

gaylock: yeah when he jumped through one once

BigMak: wOULD YOU LIKE TO????

oom: throw me out a window bish i fukin dare u

comrade: do it fucking do it

gaylock: mak no

BigMak: yo where u at kichi

oom: WHY THE FUCK SHOULD I TELL YOU

BigMak: SO I CAN THROW YOU

avocadabra has kicked BigMak and oom from Panta Land

avocadabra: peace at last

CultLeader: aha

CultLeader: ahaha

CultLeader: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA BITCH U THOUGHT

CultLeader has added SpamBot69 to PantaLand

SpamBot69: owo whats this

CultLeader: /spam

SpamBot69: shsbzhhsjsjsaskwksk

SpamBot69:hsjnsisnsusjsusjs

SpamBot69: would you like cake?

SpamBot69: aunaxhhdjshshxjx

SpamBot69: sjsjsjsjsjsjsjsjjzjsksksksksks

SpamBot69: zjndhxjxnshsbz

SpamBot69: 420

SpamBot69 has sent a sticker

SpamBot69 has sent a sticker

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avocadabra: STOP

avocadabra: whew finally

SpamBot69: no one stops just cuz you tell them to

SpamBot69 has sent a sticker

SpamBot69 has sent a sticker

SpamBot69 has sent a sticker

SpamBot69 has sent a sticker

SpamBot69 has sent a sticker

avocadabra: STOP IT

SpamBot69 has sent a sticker

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gaylock: MY PHONE IS LAGGING

SpamBot69 has sent a sticker

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gaylock has left the chat

SpamBot69 has sent a sticker

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avocadabra has left the chat

SpamBot69 has sent a sticker

SpamBot69 has sent a sticker

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SpamBot69 has sent a sticker

CultLeader: OKAY STOP

SpamBot69 has sent a sticker

SpamBot69 has sent a sticker

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SpamBot69 has sent a sticker

SpamBot69 has sent a sticker

SpamBot69 has sent a sticker

SpamBot69 has sent a sticker

CultLeader: TSUMIKI-SAN STOP

SpamBot69: ive been exposed

comrade: WHAT THE FUCK

SpamBot69 has changed their name to mikantsumikan

comrade: WAIT WHAT

mikantsumikan: its me uwu

junkothesequel: LOL LOOKS LIKE HANGING OUT WITH JUNKO REALLY DOES HAVE AN EFFECT ON YOU

comrade: ARENT YOU MS STUTTER MCSTUTTERFUCK

mikantsumikan: ;3 ya know it

comrade: WHY ARE YOU SO DIFFERENT IRL

mikantsumikan: speaking is easier online lmao

comrade: i was half expecting syo

mikantsumikan: -3- im not syo

mikantsumikan: welp bye this is getting boring

mikantsumikan has left the chat

comrade: t h ef u c k ????????

CultLeader has added gaylock, BigMak, oom and 2 other

oom: the great fuck

comrade: stfu u big gay fuck

oom: uh excuuuuusseee you im pan

junkothesequel: heyy uhh why tf has the weeb been silent all this time wtf

weenie: impaying ogf the phone for a lil bir

junkothesequel: what

oom: wtf do you mean

weenie: ugh

weenie: i cabt type properly with one hans soo am laying off untill i get my cast removed

junkothesequel: sucks to be u lmao

weenie: ugh

avocadabra: sucks

oom: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

junkothesequel: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

weenie: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

avicadabra: i thought u were laying off the phone??

weenie: fuck off have pics if my ween

BigMak is now online

weenie: weenie.jpeg

tennismidget: im back and id like to say what the fuck

BigMak: why is the first thing that i see is a picture of a hotdog

weenie: im hungry cook me bbq and hotdogs vamd

junkothesequel: who tf is vamd

weenie: hand slipped

weenie: amami

avocadabra: sigh

avocadabra: go to the kitchen ill cook some food for you

avocadabra: you guys can join too

avicadabra is now offline

weenie: yay

weenie is now offline

junkothesequel: YO FOOD?? IM IN

tennismidget: you had me at food

BigMak: ^

BigMak: its a bbq party lol im taking kaede

BigMak: bye mfs

BigMak is now offline

SpiderMom is now online

comrade: yo mom

SpiderMom: Good afternoon.

comrade: wanna go with us?

comrade: u too dad

comrade: i see u

wincest: Kukuku... I shall join you then.

SpiderMom: I suppose it’ll be fun. I suppose i’ll help with the cooking too.

comrade: gr9! come to the dining hall

SpiderMom: I’ll see you all there.

SpiderMom is now offline

wincest: gr9?

🅱️EE is now online

🅱️EE: hello!

comrade: hey gonta

comrade: i meant gr8 lol

wincest: ?

conrade: sound it out

🅱️EE: hello! Why is everyone in the dining hall?

comrade: dinner party of sorts

comrade: come join

🅱️EE: okay! Gonta will meet you all there! ^^

tennismidget: how are you so CUTE?!?!?!

tennismidget has deleted 1 message

🅱️EE: huh?

tennismidget: its okay lets go together

🅱️EE: okay Ryoma-kun!

🅱️EE is now offline

tennismidget is now offline

junkothesequel is now online

junkothesequel: theyr coming together lol ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

junkothesequel is now offline

comrade: urgh why would you make perverted jokes about the pure child

comrade: but bye

wincest is now offline

comrade is now offline


	23. the ‘sane’ ones

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a triple update holy shit

avocadabra has added gaylock, SpiderMom, OJ, LuckyBoi and 10 others to Unnamed Chat

avocadabra has changed the chat name to ‘The Sane Ones’

OJ: hi

PekoBirb: ha i can agree with the chat name

gaylock: hi what’s this for?

avocadabra: a chat for the only sane people here in hopes peak

Mahiru: Ikusaba isn’t here. I’m assuming they got her too? But why isn’t Ishimaru here?

gaylock: yea

avocadabra: actually i dont have ikusaba and taka on my friends list so i cant add them

avocadabra: can someone add them please thanks

Mahiru has added Mukubro and Brotaka

Brotaka is now online

Brotaka: Hello fellow students!

Mukubro: ayyy sup bros

Kyobro: sup m8

Brotaka: Good evening bros!

SpiderMom: Hello everyone.

OJ: isnt fukawa somewhat sane?

PekoBirb: out of all the crazy people in our school, fukawa is two of them

Mukubro: imma let this one slide cuz its too true and funny

OJ: how about harukawa? isnt she sane?

gaylock: no

avocadabra: not at all

OJ: hoshi?

SpiderMom: Unfortunately, they have influenced him.

SpiderMom: We lost him.

PekoBirb: rip tennis midget

🅱️EE: But Ryoma-kun is sitting right next to me? He’s not dead?

PekoBirb: its metaphorical

🅱️EE: Oh okay! Gonta is happy that Ryoma-kun isnt dead!

PekoBirb: khh gimme tissues hes too pure

Togamoney: What the bloody hell are you going to use the tissues for?

PekoBirb: my tears

🅱️EE: Oh no! Pekoyama-san please don’t cry! Gonta sorry!

PekoBirb: dw lad its tears of joy

🅱️EE: dw?

Kyobro: Don’t worry.

🅱️EE: okay! If you say so then, Gonta will not worry!

OJ: how does he stay so pure around all the perverts in your class?

avocadabra: its beyond me

PekoBirb: this is beyond science

Kyobro: i only noticed peko now

Kyobro: wheres ur gf?

PekoBirb: mikan isnt one of the sane1s

Kyobro: WAIT WHERES SAYAKA

OJ: o.o chill surely you can take one chatroom w/o her

BlondeBimbo: well,,, maki chan isnt here either

Kyobro: but shes sane ;-; thats their difference

PekoBirb: SKSKSKSKSKSKSK BLONDEBIMBO LMAO

Mukubro: thisismyvoice.mp4

gaylock: mood

🅱️EE: please dont be sad!

Mukubro: dw child its for show

🅱️EE: oh okay! Gonta has to go now!

🅱️EE is now offline

kerby: nagito help me confess to sonia

kerby: uhhh

kerby: FUCK HOW TO DELETE

OJ: oof im hurt how you go to nagito first in this matter

kerby: sudnsuanxhsna

kerby: im gonna spam this brb

kerby: hs

kerby:

kerby: .

PrincessSonia is now online

kerby: .

kerby: hhhhh

kerby: sinshajs

kerby has left The Sane Ones

PrincessSonia: Nanami?

PrincessSonia: Why did Nanami-san leave?

PrincessSonia has added kerby to The Sane Ones

kerby: im sorry

kerby: i,,, lets talk

kerby: i want to talk privately

kerby: im gonna go to your room

PrincessSonia: Okay

kerby is now offline

PrincessSonia is now offline

PekoBirb: go get em

SpiderMom: lets get this bread u guys

SpiderMom has deleted one message

SpiderMom: Please disregard that message.

SpiderMom: That wasn’t meant for this group chat.

PekoBirb: lets get this bread kirumi

SpiderMom: Please don’t.

Kyobro: speaking of bread can someone make me a sandwich

Brotaka: Dont be lazy bro!

PekoBirb: dont say lazy

Togamoney: Please don't say, "you are lazy"

Togamoney: Because truthfully, I'm crazy.

LuckyBoi: K-On!!!!

SpiderMom: I’ll make you all sandwiches and deliver it to you if you keep quiet of what I said earlier.

Mahiru: But they should know how to make their own. They are teenagers and should know how to be independent.

PekoBirb: tbh it isnt that bad but i wont say no to free sandwiches

OJ: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL TERUTERU MADE BATCHES OF WEED BROWNIES I SHIT YOU NOT WE ARE HAVING A PARTY HERE IN THE DINING HALL

PekoBirb: yo deliver summa dat to my room

avocadabra: what has this chat become

avocadabra: tbh i give up now

avocadabra has changed the chat name to ‘Saner Than Others’

avocadabra: i want some weed brownies too bye

avocadabra is now offline

Togamoney: Where’d you even get the marijuana?

OJ: hagakure lmao

Togamoney: ‘ill buy a crystal ball’ So that was a fucking lie.

Togamoney: Whatever. Just give me some of that.

OJ: ADAHXJSNAJSBSN TOGAMI???

SpiderMom: its mine now lmao

OJ: HOLY SHIT KIRUMI TOOK A TRAY, A JOINT AND RAN OFF

OJ: 79’S MOM IS GETTING HIGH TODAY

Mahiru: ...

BlondeBimbo: Hinata-kun are there any left?

BlondeBimbo: Normal brownies I mean.

BlondeBimbo: I’m not letting Maki get high.

OJ: uh yeah but you might wanna hurry cuz akane’s chomping em down

BlondeBimbo: Kay!

BlondeBimbo is now offline

Mahiru: honestly im diaspoinred

Mahiru: *disappointed

Mahiru: fuck the vodka’s getting to me

Mahiru: WAIT

Mahiru has deleted one message

OJ: YO WAT YOU GOT VODKA??

Mahiru: momma needs a break okay

OJ: LMAO

LuckyBoi: but we’re underaged???

Brotaka: I am very disappointed in all of you! We are underage and marijuana is illegal!

OJ: let it go bro

gaylock: let it go~ let it go~

OJ: WHAT IS EVEN HAPPENING RIGHT NOW

kerby is now online

PrincessSonia is now online

PrincessSonia has changed their name to tachi

tachi has changed kerby’s name to neko

neko: OH GOD SONIA THIS IS NOT THE WAY I PICTURED ANNOUNCING THAT WE’RE DATING

tachi: we’re dating you guys!

OJ: YEA BUT A LOT OF PEOPLE ARE HIGH RIGHT NOW

Kyobro: yoo wtf theres purple shrimps flying around

OJ: KSKSKSKSKSKSK

Mukubro: lmao taka’s just sitting there smiling doing nothing

gaylock: imagine walking in on a bunch of high school students getting high

Makubro: thatd be dope

OJ: id get high with them lmao

OJ: congrats @tachi and @neko

neko: thanks!

LuckyBoi: ...this is a mess.

gaylock: lmao maki snuck a few beers and kaede didnt notice

LuckyBoi: What has this chat become??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And then Naegi questioned everything and everyone got high as fuck and Headmaster Kirigiri walked in and they got in trouble :^)
> 
> idfk what its like being high okay ive never smoked or eaten weed or been high


	24. dr1 again

11307: excuse me while i drink bleach

420BlazeIt: bABE NO

Kyobro: wtf is with you?

11307: ive been scarred

Kyobro: what scarred you boi?

Broleste is now online

11307: yOUR FUCKING SELF INSERT SAYAKA DOUJINS

Kyobro: ...huh?

Broleste: man i really should change this name

Kyobro: WHAT WHERED YOU FIND THAT

11307: IN THE FUCKINF MAGAZINE SHELF WHO THE FUCK PUTS NSFW SELF INSERT DOUJINS ON A SEMI-PUBLIC SCHOOL MAGAZINE SHELF HUUUHHH EXPLAIN THAT SHITTYGIRI

Kyobro: WHAT WHO PUT THAT THERE

Broleste: oh my...

Kyobro: WAIT HOWD YOU EVEN KNOW IT WAS MINE

11307: THERE WAS KYOKO KIRIGIRI ON THE INSIDE COVER YOU MORON

LuckyBoi: uhh guys?

Broleste: my my...

Broleste: @Kirizono

Broleste: @Kirizono

Kirizono is now online

Kyobro: aaaAAAAA DONT SCROLL UP

Kirizono: ?

Kirizono: What is it, Celes-chan?

Kirizono: wdym ‘dont scroll up’, Kyo-chan?

Kyobro: DONT LISTEN TO THE DEVIL

420BlazeIt: tHERES A DEVIL IN HERE?!?!?

11307: chill shes been with us since our first year

Broleste: ouch.

Broleste: scroll up, maizono ^^

Kirizono: k brb

Kyobro: PLEASE DONT

Kirizono: .

Kirizono: kyoko-chan if you wanted me you couldve just said so

Kyobro: ADFSKANZIDPAMAIDBWODUSY

Kirizono: be ready kyoko-chan ;)

Kirizono is now offline

11307: still tho wtf man

11307: who tf put the doujins in there

Broleste: .

Broleste is now offline

Kyobro: you’re lucky what you did is getying me laid, celes

Kyobro is now offline

11307: im gonna look at cat videos now

11307 is now offline

LuckyBoi: what does maizono-san mean by if kyoko-chan wanted her???

420BlazeIt: tsk tsk tsk pure boy

Togamoney: Trust me when I say that you do not want to know.

IHaveLotsOfPersonality: KYEHAHAHAHAHAHA IT MEANS IF KIRIGIRI WAS HORNJDBDUSHSHSHAHAHSHZ

IHaveLotsOfPersonality: hi this is chihiro plz dont taint my bf thanks

IHaveLotsOfPersonality is now offline

Mondbro: oK IM PROUD AND ALL BUT WTF CHIHIRO JUST THIS MORNING YOU COULD BARELY LIFT 30 POUNDS NOW UR KNOCKING SYO UNCONCIOUS?!?!!?

LuckyBoi: ? Horn?

Togamoney has kicked LuckyBoi from fingers in his ass

Togamoney: It was for his own goo

IHaveLotsOfPersonality is now online

IHaveLotsOfPersonality: i woke up in the gym what did syo do?

IHaveLotsOfPersonality: also ‘goo’

Togamoney: Fuck off.

DONUTSS: guys guys i just remembered a thing that happened a few days ago!

Togamoney: Shut the fuck up. No one cares.

IHaveLotsOfPersonality: LET THE CHILD SPEAK

DONUTSS: thanks mum

DONUTSS: so during lunch that day celes chan was speaking in french as like practice in french class

DONUTSS: so then she goes ‘ge te deteste parce ke too es stupide’ or smthn like that

DONUTSS: idk what it means but from the context of their earlier conversation i think celes chan was calling hiro stupid which isnt very nice

IHaveLotsOfPersonality: I think you mean ‘Je te déteste parce que tu es stupide’

DONUTSS: idk honestly it just sounded like gibberish to me

DONUTSS: so then hiro goes ‘sorry i dont speak baguette’

DONUTSS: SORRY I DONT SPEAK BAGUETTE

Togamoney: Oh my god.

Mondbro: LMAO

420BlazeIt: its not my fault i cant speak baguette

IHaveLotsOfPersonality: Thats how im gonna refer to it now

IHaveLotsOfPersonality: baguette speak

IHaveLotsOfPersonality: ‘Riko moaned lowly as her partner spoke sexy baguette into her ear.’

Togamoney: I will pay you to create a whole story using the random words that our fellow ultimates have used to substitute other words.

Togamoney: Like Hagakure and his baguette speak. Kuzuryuu’s surgery = stabbing someone to life. Yonaga’s people juice. Harukawa and her ‘gremlin carrier’. Momota and his ‘nut juice’. All that.

IHaveLotsOfPersonality: how much we talking about

DONUTSS: WAIT WHY DID MOMOTA SAY NUT JUICE LMAO

420BlazeIt: that time when he wanted pb he just went ‘can you pass me the nut juice?’

Togamoney: Iruma lost her shit at that.

IHaveLotsOfPersonality: there was that one time when komaeda just asked tsumiki to give him his ‘hair condom’ during their pe class

DONUTSS: A HAIR CONDOM ADSJSKSKSKSJSKS

Togamoney: A fucking cap. Its now a hair condom. A fucking hair condom.

IHaveLotsOfPersonality: togami is now even more disappointed lmao

420BlazeIt: XDDDD

Togamoney: Whatever. I’ll give you however much for the story. Just do it.

IHaveLotsOfPersonality: FUCK YEA GIMME 10,000$ BOI BRB IMMA WORK ON IT

IHaveLotsOfPersonality is now offline

Togamoney: $10,000? What a measly amount. But whatever.

420BlazeIt: ADDGDDHSJSHSISJS UR WILLING TO GIVE OUT 10,000??? FOR A FUCKING CRACK BOOK?!?!

Togamoney: ...yes.

420BlazeIt: YO CAN YOU LEND ME A MILLION I NEED A CRYSTAL BALL

Togamoney: ...how am I sure that you’ll be using it on a REAL crystal ball and not drugs? And how am I sure that you won’t get ripped off?

420BlazeIt: man you really dont trust me?

Togamoney: With knowledge of your... stoner tendencies, how can I trust that you will not be wasting it all on weed?

420BlazeIt: pwease pwq ;w;

Togamoney: No. Stop. Don’t.. dont do that. I’ll give you $1M if you stop using those...those insufferable emoticons.

420BlazeIt: fuck yea send me the check l8r

420BlazeIt: bye lads im getting me self sum crystal balls lmao

420BlazeIt is now offline

Mukubro is now online

Mukubro: but leon already has the crystal balls u want lmao

Togamoney: W h y?

Togamoney: Why are y’all like this?

Mukubro: ‘y’all’

Togamoney: Fuck off.


	25. hbd red kirigiri

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you noticed, i changed the name of the fic bc its turning into not just panta land anymore. so yeah. hbd harumaki

[Panta Land Dictatorship]

SpaceJam: HBD MAKIROLL!!!

🅱️EE: Happy birthday Harukawa-san!

avocadabra: hbd but woah no party?

BigMak: i almost forgot lol

BigMak: thanks u guys

BigMak: but i dont want a party

BigMak: too much trouble

BlondeBimbo: all she wants is to be a burrito blanket and me to cuddle her lol

BlondeBimbo: makiburrito.jpeg

oom: akamatsu-chan im disappointed in u 

oom: u couldve made a pun about thatttt

BlondeBimbo: oh crap i coulda

BlondeBimbo: correction: a MAKI roll

SpaceJam: oh wait no parties?

BigMak: yea u can do that when ive overcome my laziness

gaylock: woah you arent usually lazy

BigMak: its a saturday lemme be

gaylock: happy bday btw

BigMak: thanks

CultLeader: hbd maki!! wait how about our gifts?

BigMak: just leave them at my door

BigMak: thanks again

gaylock: laziness 100

BigMak: yes

avocadabra: wait wait wait how is she typing

BigMak: i have hands

avocadabra: great

BlondeBimbo: :shrug:

SpiderMom: What am I to do with the cake then?

BigMak: is the candle blowing nessescary?

SpiderMom: not really no

BigMak: feed the children then

BlondeBimbo: you dont want any cake?

BigMak: save two slices for me and kae pls

weenie: happy day of birth harumaki!

BigMak: thanks

oom: you tried to kill me several times but still, happ bday!

BigMak: thanks

CultLeader: tenko says happy birthday too!

BigMak: thanks

wincest: happy birthday, harukawa-san.

BigMak: thanks

AmazonKiibo: Happy birthday, Harukawa-san!

BigMak: thanks

tennismidget: happy birthday you smol lesbiab

BigMak: actually im an attack helicopter but thanks

BigMak: one year closer to death

BlondeBlonde: plz dont die on me

BigMak: one year closer to getting married to kaede

BlondeBimbo: awww

gaylock: lmao the door to maki’s dorm just looks like a offering place thingy

junkothesequel is now online

junkothesequel: AYY MAK IS ONE YEAR CLOSER TO BEING ABLE TO LEGALLY DRINK

junkothesequel: WHOS OUR YOUNGEST AGAIN??

BigMak: idk??? kaede i think

junkothesequel: whatever i forgot what i was gonna say anyway

BigMak: lol

madokamagica is now online

madokamagica: yo hbd

BigMak: thanks

BigMak: bye u guys imma sleep now

BigMak is now offline

BlondeBimbo is now offline

SpaceJam: WHAT??? is this just what she does on birthdays?? sleep??

BigMak is now online

BigMak: i didnt really have parties growing up and i just usually go about my day during birthdays sooo

BigMak: anyway you guys can have a party

BigMak: but im too tired so im gonna sleep now

madokamagica: sleep tight red kirigiri

BigMak: ill be using kaede’s boobs as pillows now bye

BigMak is now offline

gaylock: that was,,,, anti climatic,,,,

avocadabra: eh might as well eat some avocados

avocadabra is now offline

weenie: HEY THATS CANNIBALISM

weenie is now offline

junkothesequel is now offline

AmazonKiibo: Its time for maintenance now! See you all later!

AmazonKiibo is now offline

tennismidget: wanna go on a picnic, gonta?

🅱️EE: sure!

tennismidget is now offline

🅱️EE is now offline

SpaceJam: aw everyone is leaving

gaylock: lets go

SpaceJam is now offline

gaylock is now offline

SpiderMom: bye lol

SpiderMom is now offline

wincest: i see she has finally succumbed to the temptation of using lowercase.

madokamagica: jeez dude you make it sound so creepy

wincest: :shrug:

CultLeader: angie has to go now!

CultLeader is now offline

wincest: bye

wincest is now offline

oom: himiko~chan you wanna go get some parfaits??

madokamagica: sure

oom is now offline

madokamagica is now offline

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhh i changed it a lil bit, sorry. by a lil bit i added a bit more text lol


	26. never have i ever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yo im back from the dead. and goddamnit i missed the opportunity to make a joke about 69 kudos but whatevs. have this chapter that was in my notes for like a few weeks now lol

[Hope’s Peak Academy Chatroom]

FashionJunkie: hey hey hey losers lets play never have i ever

11037: i wanna join

FashionJunkie: anyone can join im just bored

BigMak: im joining

BossBaby: eh why not

PekoBirb: all joining say fuck

mikantsumikan: fuck

LuckyBoi: i want to join

PekoBirb: say fuck

HackerMan: dont make him say fuck

LuckyBoi: CHI YOU SAID ‘F***’!!!

HackerMan: srry

Togamoney: I’m bored as hell so fuck.

Mondbro: fuck

Komaedaddy: fuck

OJ: fuck

BlondeBimbo: fuck

BigMak: fuckity fuck fuck

Sakura is now online

HackerMan: *o*

Sakura: Good morning everyone.

OJ: surprisedpikachu.jpeg

DONUTSS: hey sakura!

Sakura: Hello, Hina.

IHaveLotsOfPersonality: i want in

Sakura: A game? I wish to join as well.

SpiderMom: fuck it ill commision you fifty bucks to create a fic where sayo has a harem

SpiderMom: Oh.

SpiderMom has deleted one message

FashionJunkie: LMAO WHOS SAYO

weenie: sayo hikawa you classless piece of shit

420BlazeIt: dafuq? kiroomba plays bandori?? im in too

SpiderMom: ...

SpiderMom: no??

DONUTSS: *squints suspiciously*

SpiderMom: ok fine i do

Togamoney: Lower case Kirumi joins the chat.

420BlazeIt: ADFSKD TOGAMI??

Togamoney: That’s my family name, yes.

BigMak: togami has gained skill ‘humor’

Togamoney: Togami has leveled up.

FashionJunkie: OAKY IM TIRED OF WAITING FOR YALL SO LETS START YOU FUCKS

SpiderMom: ‘oaky’

420BlazeIt: who tf is oaky

FashionJunkie: fuck you and go die

BigMak: dont mind if i do

BlondeBimbo: NO DONT DIE ON ME

BigMak: oof

BossBaby: what the fuck

BossBaby: these two are just,,, akamatsu’s just laying on harukawa’s lap in the rec room and theyre here chatting on their phones when they could just,,,

BossBaby: talk???

gaylock: dont question them

FashionJunkie: OKAY WHOS IN, HACKING GREMLIN

HackerMan: ouch

HackerMan: leeeon, harumaki, yakuza gremlin, pekopeko, that bi nurse, mah boi, me, togamoney, that hot gay guy the bi nurse had a crush on, his boyfriend, kayayday, our resident gentle giant, donuts do not belong in water asahina, toko or touko, weed and killme.

FasionJunkie: OKAY YALL KNOW HOW THIS GOES

11037: yeah yeah everyone knows

11037: weve done this before

11037: who goes first

HackerMan: ill keep track of the scores fam

SpiderMom: wait why am i joined

HavkerMan: bc now start

FashionJunkie: IM GOING FIRST U FUCKS

FashionJunkie: never have i ever gotten off to hope

Komaedaddy: i feel like,,, this is targeting me a lil

FashionJunkie: bc it is

HackerMan: oof koma has 4 left lst one standing has the boringest life

Komaedaddy: bc of that, never have i ever had tits or a vag

FashionJunkie: FUCK YOUUUUU

Sakura: ...ah.

DONUTSS: CRAP I HAVE TIDDIES

BigMak: weird flex but ok

IHaveLotsOfPersonality: IM FLAT DOES THAT COUNT

HackerMan: yeah technically you dont have tiddies but you have a cooch so

BigMak: wait what if ur a futa tho

SpiderMom: w ha t

BigMak: nvm

420BlazeIt: lol

mikantsumikan: ow

PekoBirb: wait are you even keeping track, fujisaki

HackerMan: yes yes i hv a notepad next to me go on

BigMak: never have i ever had a BOYfriend

420BlazeIt: wait but werent you and momota a thing once

BigMak: what no

BigMak: does everyone think that

BlondeBimbo: they were just rlly close u guys

11037: OOF

OJ: so thts how u wanna play

Sakura: Oh.

SpiderMom: fuck

FashionJunkie: whhhyyyyy

HackerMan: NOOO

HackerMan: 4- leon, hagakure, harukawa, akamatsu, tsumiki, pekoyama, fukawa, makoto, oj boi, me 3- komaeda, sakura, kirumi, enoshima

Togamoney: Hah. I’ve never had a boyfriend.

BossBaby: same

Togamoney: it is my turn now

Togamoney: Never have I ever had hair that’s not blonde.

IHaveLotsOfPersonality: fuck

FashionJunkie: why am i losing at my own game

BossBaby: bro 👋

Togamoney: bro 👋

BlondeBimbo: bro 👋

HavkerMan: my hairs a dirty blond lol

LuckyBoi: so pretty much everyone except those four^

HackerMan: what about nagito

Komaedaddy: my hair is white

HavkerMan: oh ok

HackerMan: thank u next

11037: never have i ever had blonde hair

HackerMan: ow

FashionJunkie: how despairing~~~

HackerMan: oof junko’s so close to losing lol

11037: is junko out yet

420BlazeIt: never have i ever been a model

HackerMan: now she is

FashionJunkie: guhhh so despairingggg

FashionJunkie is now offline

OJ: and now shes gonna get off to that

Togamoney: Amazing.

BlondeBimbo: lets not think about that

HackerMan: never have i ever had sex outside of the bedroom/shower

OJ: ... great

Komaedadddy: hehe

420BlazeIt: oof

11037: wdym oof? we’ve never fucked outside the bedroom?

420BlazeIt: that time in your house’s couch?

11037: oh yeah

BlondeBimbo: ehhhhh

PekoBirb: oh we lost a point each mikan

mikantsumikan: yea ik the obvious peko

HackerMan: that everyone?

Togamoney: I dont have a significant other.

SpiderMom: I have never done that.

Sakura: Neither have I. But I am extremely shocked that most of you have had sexual intercourse. You should save yourselves for marriage.

BigMak: too late

IHaveLotsOfPersonality: ive never done tht

HavkerMan: ok so thats it?

SpiderMom: No. No it isn’t. Maki and Kaede have done it in the closet in a closet.

BigMak: fuck

SpiderMom: That’s what you did, yes.

BigMak: also howd you know about that??

SpiderMom: I go in the janitor’s closet for cleaning supplies? Also because of the blonde locks of hair on the floor and your pin fell off.

BigMak: oh so you were the one who returned my pin on my desk thanks

420BlazeIt: in the closet in a closet???

SpiderMom: they did it in a closet 

HackerMan: ok

LuckyBoi: okay whos next

DONUTSS: NEVER HAVE I EVER HAD AN AHOGE

OJ: hell

HackerMan: nagito technically has one so

IHaveLotsOfPersonality: yeah

LuckyBoi: thats komaeda, me, hinata, fukawa and akamatsu

DONUTSS: wait since when did toko have one

IHaveLotsOfPersonality: its tucked in my braids

DONUTSS: oh cool

OJ: ok my turn

OJ: never have i ever been a fan of green day or mcr or p!atd or the killers

BigMak: fuck fuck fuck fuck

IHaveLotsOfPersonality: I prefer classical music..

DONUTSS: pop

Byakuya: classical

420BlazeIt: ya like jazz

HackerMan: i think the only emo/edgy ones here are baby gangsta, maki roll, and peko

PekoBirb: contrary to popular belief, i listen to pop and classical not rock (i havent played sdr2 so im not actually sure about theirs dont @ me)

11037: oof im a fan

HackerMan: woah

BossBaby: the killers and mcr only for me

HackerMan: ok next

LuckyBoi: never have i ever flirted with an inanimate object..

HackerMan: LOL I KNOW WHO DID THAT

BossBaby: wait who

HackerMan: hiro, hina, hinata, harumaki and fukawa

BossBaby: oof

IHaveLotsOfPersonality: when???

HackerMan: you were drunk and u thot mukuro was the lamp and u even said ‘hey, mumu-chan u look sexy’

HavkerMan: maki and hinata are out!!!

OJ: win for me ko

OJ is now offline

Komaedaddy: i love you, hajime

Komaedaddy: you may not be with us now but i will win for you!!

BigMak: im staying here for kaede

BlondeBimbo: ^^

BlondeBimbo: me next!

BlondeBimbo is now offline

BigMak: holy shit her phone died

BigMak: AND she was targeting nagito too

BigMak: the thing is her phone was 67%

Komaedaddy: luck 100

BigMak: hi kaede here

BigMak: im too scared to target komaeda now so never have i ever tried to pet a doge and almost died in the process

PekoBirb: fuck

SpiderMom: fujisaki whos close to dying?

HackerMan: leon, peko, nagi, hiro, toko and kade

SpiderMom: never have i ever shoved a baseball bat up my anus

11037: fuck you

11037 is now offline

420BlazeIt: LEONNN

420BlazeIt: never have i ever had huge tits

HackerMan: anddd peko and kaede are out

BigMak: big sad

BigMak is no offline

PekoBirb is now offline

BossBaby: heh no ones targeted me

mikantsumikan: never have i ever had ‘o’ in my name

BossBaby: fuck you, mikan. fuck you and your name.

HackerMan: hiro, komaeda and toko are out

IHaveLotsOfPersonality is now offline

Komaedaddy is now offline

420BlazeIt: i didnt even get to have a turn :((((

420BlazeIt is now offline

Sakura: Whose lives are on the line, Chihiro-kun?

HackerMan: mom, sakumom, aoi, mikan and my beloved

BossBaby: never have i ever been a possible source of milk

HackerMan: ok the latter four are out

Sakura: That was fun. I wish to play again sometime. :)

Sakura is now offline

DONUTSS: im staying lmao

mikantsumikan: :^)

SpiderMom: i wish you all luck

SpiderMom is now offline

Togamoney: Never have I ever had brown hair.

Togamoney: Sorry fam. :’)

LuckyBoi: its okay bro

LuckyBoi: im staying for chi

HackerMan: daww

HackerMan: never have i ever been rich

Togamoney: Why?

BossBaby: shit

Togamoney: Never have I ever been short in my high school years.

HackerMan: :^)

HackerMan: never have i ever been tall

BossBaby: never have i ever needed glasses like the prescripted ones

Togamoney: You guys suck.

Togamoney is now offline

HackerMan: never have i ever been in class 77/ a third year

BossBaby: well played

LuckyBoi: you won chi!!

DONUTSS: ayyy

mikantsumikan: byee imma have dinner now

LuckyBoi: but they still havent made dinner yet?

mikantsumikan: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

mikantsumikan is now offline

DONUTSS: ew

DONUTSS: imma get donuts bye

DONUTSS is now offline

LuckyBoi: huh??

HackerMan: lets go

HackerMan: gg @everyone

HackerMan is now offline

LuckyBoi is now offline

KirigiriJin is now online

Kyobro is now online

Kyobro: hi dad

KirigiriJin: I learned too much about my students. TOO much.

Kyobro: lol

KirirgiriJin: Thats enough internet for today. What do you say about a family dinner, Kyoko? Me, you, Koichi. You can bring your girlfriend too if you’d like.

Kyobro: k dad. ill tell sayaka

KirigiriJin: I’ll see you both later.

KirigiriJin is now offline

YaBoiKizakura is now online

YaBoiKizakura: dafuq a family dinner?

Kyobro: yea lol

YaBoiKizakura: ehh i dun feel like it

KirigiriJin is now online

KirigiriJin: Koichi please.

YaBoiKizakura: k fine

YaBoiKizakura is now offline

KirigiriJin is now offline

Kyobro is now offline


	27. wELL WHEN LIFE GIVES U LEMONS

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a double update?? woah??

[Panta Land Dictatorship]

avocadabra: sOMEONE THREW A LEMON AT ME

gaylock: well when life give u l em o ns

weenie: you make lemonade

BigMak: you squeeze them into the eyes of your enemies

BigMak: or you rub it on their wounds

BigMak: can i have the lemons?

avocadabra: NO you might blind someone

BigMak: jokes on u i have my own money and can therefore buy lemons of my own

oom: my precious lemons

BigMak: go stick your bloody dick in a lemon

oom: HOW ABOUT YOU STICK YOURS IN ONE

avocadabra: now now settle down children

avocadabra: maki doesnt have a dick anyway

gaylock: she does its in the inside

BigMak: :^)

junkothesequel: make sure you get it in nice and cozy

avocadabra: THATS IT YOU’RE ALL GROUNDED

gaylock: forgive me father for i have sinned.

oom: sorry daddy ive been naughty

junkothesequel: punish us daddy

BigMak: wait whos the father now?

gaylock: you are the father

BigMak: bUT I DONT HAVE A PENIS

oom: who says you have to have a dick to be the dad

BigMak: i was quoting a vine

BigMak: coolio im the dad now

BigMak: go to ur room ooms

wincest: As the actual dad. Ouma, you don’t have to litsen to Harukawa.

junkothesequel: but we havent called her daddy yet

BigMak: hey give it back

gaylock: first you gotta say my name

BigMak: alright, big daddy

gaylock: my name carl...

oom: u know who calls me daddy?

junkothesequel: who?

oom: ur mom

junkothesequel: oh shit you found her?

oom: oh shit

BigMak: oh shit

junkothesequel: yo can you tell her im doing well?

junkothesequel: she hasnt come back from grocery shopping for 9 years

junkothesequel: can you ask her whats holding her up? i really want my kinder surprise egg and she hasnt come back with it yet

BigMak: thats the surprise, shes not coming back

avocadabra: oof

junkothesequel: lmao jk my mom’s back at my place

oom: SHIT MAN YOU SCARED ME

BigMak: oof

oom: I REALLY THOT I WAS GUNNA HAVE TO APOLOGIZE

CultLeader is now online

CultLeader: HOLY SHIT U GUYS ANGIE’S INITIALS ARE AY

CultLeader: ay

oom: ayyyy

CultLeader: ayyyy

BigMak: what are we ‘ayyyy’ing about?

oom: ayyyy

CultLeader: ayyyy

avocadabra: b

weenie: c

junkothesequel: d

gaylock: e

tennismidget is now online

avocadabra: f

BigMak: cookie monster

gaylock: g

junkothesequel: h

weenie: i

gaylock: am gay

avocadabra: l m n o p

junkothesequel: q r s

tennismidget: t u v

gaylock: w x

weenie: y and z

tennismidget: now i kno my abcs next time wont you sing with me

BigMka: no

tennismidget: ow ok ill find someone who’ll sing it with me

CultLeader: a is for atua

junkothesequel: b is for BITCH

oom: c is crackwhore

weenie: d is for duck

gaylock: e is for eof

BigMak: f is for fuck this bitch

avocadabra: no children this is all wrong

SpaceJam is now online

SpaceJam: g is for gay

oom: h is for hore

weenie: i is for itsuka sora ni habataku

BigMak: j is for juul

weenie: k is for KORE WA

gaylock: l is for lesbiab

tennismidget: m is for my dicc fell off

CultLeader: n is for n word pass

SpaceJam: o is for ohjay

junkothesequel: p is for puhssay

CultLeader: q is for queueueueueue

weenie: r is for reo from enstars is cute

gaylock: s is for suck on deez nuts

BigMak: got em

BlondeBimbo is now online

BlondeBimbo: HOLY CRAP YOU GUYS

BlondeBimbo: I WAS PLAYING BITLIFE AND MY CHARACTER’S NAME WAS JAMEIS HOLE THEN HE MARRIED A GUY NAMED CADEN TURNER

BlondeBimbo: mrturnerhole.jpeg

oom: ADFGSGSGSB TURNER-HOLE

gaylock: HOLY SHIT

junkothesequel: IM SC REA MING

CultLeader: angie doesnt get it??

gaylock: sound it out

CultLeader: oh OHHHH LMAO TURNER HOLE

BlondeBimbo: AND NOW IM PLAYING ANOTHER LIFE CUZ HE DIED

CultLeader: yo update us

BlondeBimbo: its p boring rn

BigMak: welp tell us when something interesting happens

oom: how about we sing 99 bottles of beer again

BigMak: yes

oom: 99 bottles of beer on the wall

BigMak: 99 bottles of beerr

gaylock: omg no

oom: take one down pass it around

BigMak: 98 bottles of beer on the wall

gaylock: w h y ???

oom: 98 bottles of beer

BigMak: take on down pass it around,

BlondeBimbo: nothing interest happened :(

BlondeBimbo: im gonna go back to practicing piano now

BlondeBimbo is now offline

BigMak: oof

oom: hb we continue singing until something interesting happens?

BigMak: nice

oom: 97 bottles of beeron the wall

BigMak: 97 bottles of beer

—————————

BigMak: take one down pass it around

oom: 1 bottle of beer on the wall

BigMak: one bottle of beer

oom: take it down

BigMak: pass it around

oom: no more bottles of beer :(

BigMak: reset

avocadabra: oh my fucking god

oom: 99 bottles of beer on the wall

avocadabra has changed BigMak’s name to parttimeassassinfulltimeemo

parttimeassassinfulltimeemo: eh

oom: oooh change my name change my name daddy

avocadabra has changed oom’s name to accident#1

avocadabra has changed junkothesequel’s name to accident#2

accident#2: HEY ILL HAVE YOU KNOW I WAS A PLANNED PREGNANCY

parttimeassassinfulltimeemo: at least your parents kept you

accident#2: oof sad life man

parttimeassassinfulltimeemo: its okay

accident#1: hey mak u like cats right

parttimeassassinfulltimeemo: uh yeah?

accident#1: you like fluffy cats?

parttimeassassinfulltimeemo: yes yes very yes

accident#1: maki likes fluffy pussy

parttimeassassinfulltimeemo: ADFGSG NO JESUS FUCK

parttimeassassinfulltimeemo has changed their name to FUCKYOU

accident#2: fuck you too

FUCKYOU: FUCK YOU DONT TWIST MY WORDS

accident#1: twist me daddy

accident#2: twist me real good

FUCKYOU: NO

gaylock: rip

accident#2: kay wait do u like spicy stuff

FUCKYOU: i guess???

FUCKYOU: WAIT

accident#2: chill im not gonna twist ur words

accident#1: shes gonna twist u instead

accident#2: u kno it ;)

FUCKYOU: ADFGSJK NO

gaylock: wtf

avocadabra: i look away for like 3 minutes and you three already caused chaos

avocadabra: grate

avocadabra: no wait grate

FUCKYOU: HOW ABOUT I GRATE U GUYS INSTEAD OF TWISTING

accident#2: kinky

SpaceJam: thats kinky harumaki

FUCKYOU: FUCK BOTH OF YOU AND GO DIE

gaylock: do you wanna die?

FUCKYOU: hey thats my line moronsexual

gaylock: so are you

SpaceJam: oof

accident#2: not sure if that was dissing maki but i think its dissing kaede so kaede found dead in miami

accident#1: MURDERED BY HER OWN BFF

FUCKYOU: she may be a an idiot but i love her

BlondeBimbo is now online

BlondeBimbo: ow maki-chan

BlondeBimbo: you wound me

FUCKYOU: idiot

BlondeBimbo: you like it

FUCKYOU: ...maybe

gaylock: hesus christ now theyre quoting how to handle a nico

FUCKYOU: that wasnt intentional but okay

avocadabra: ADFGSJSU SHUICHI

gaylock: shut

weenie: so you like nikmak, eh shuichi?

gaylock: no

avocadabra: nikmak

BlondeBimbo: zigzag

FUCKYOU: big bag

weenie: scallywag

gaylock: frick frack

avocadabra: tic tac

FUCKYOU: did you know tic tacs are actually purely sugar but get away with calling themselves sugar-free because they’re less than a gram?

weenie: r/iamverysmart

FUCKYOU: hey

gaylock: lol

BlondeBimbo: really?

CultLeader: who cares if they’re purely sugar?

FUCKYOU: kay moving on

gaylock: if you swallow a whole large pack of tic tacs at once will you die?

FUCKYOU: idfk probably

avocadabra: hoe dont do it

accident#1: HOW ABOUT WE TEST IT

BlondeBimbo: N O

BlondeBimbo: YOU’LL CHOKE

FUCKYOU: stupidity has reached its peak

gaylock: brb im buying a whole pack

BlondeBimbo: SAIHARA NO

gaylock is now offline

BlondeBimbo is now offline

avocadabra: thats rlly stupid dont do it

avocadabra: brb gonna stop him

avocadabra is now offline

FUCKYOU: im gonna ask kirumi for pie brb

FUCKYOU is now online

accident#1: lmao same

accident#2: count me in lmao

accident#1 is now offline

accident#2 is now offline

tennismidget is now online

tennismidget: w ha t the f u c k???

🅱️EE is now online

AmazonKiibo is now offline

🅱️EE: Hello everyone!

AmazonKiibo: hi Gokuhara-kun!

🅱️EE: Hello, Kiibo-kun!

AmazonKiibo: hi Hoshi-kun!

🅱️EE: Hello, Ryoma-kun!

tennismidget: sup you guys

🅱️EE: Where is everybody?

AmazonKiibo: I dunno.

tennismidget: they’re out doing stupid things

tennismidget: rantaro’s right, everyone around us are morons

AmazonKiibo: thats not a very nice thing to say!

tennismidget: sorry

tennismidget: ah well you guys wanna go get some ice cream?

🅱️EE: sure!

AmazonKiibo: B-But... I cant eat ice cream...

tennismidget: oh,,, right.

tennismidget: lets just hang out okay?

AmazonKiibo: okay!

🅱️EE: sounds fun!

tennismidget: lets get away from the weirdos

tennismidget is now offline

🅱️EE is now offline

AmazonKiibo is now offline


	28. what the fuck did i just write

[nagito’s harem]

Komaedaddy: i put my dog in an empty zoo

OJ: what?

Komaedaddy: it was a shitzu

mikantsumikan: thats not how the joke goes

smolnterrible: hey tsumiki why did the chicken cross the road?

mikantsumikan: why?

smolnterrible: to get to the pig’s house

smolnterrible: knock knock

mikantsumikan: who’s there

smolnterrible: THE CHICKEN

PekoBirb is now online

mikantsumikan: oh this is mikan i had pork cutlets for dinner. the pig who lives here? Oh, he’s dead.

PekoBirb: OH SHIT

smolnterrible: CANNIBALISM!!!

mikantsumikan: well, sorry i ate ur mum

smolnterrible: MY MUM’S NOT A PIG

mikantsumikan: ur in denial then

smolnterrible: YOU’RE THE PIG

mikantsumikan: yes, i accepted that

mikantsumikan: peko likes pigs.

Komaedaddy: oh shit

KazuichiBottoms: WHAT THE HELL DID YOU EAT THE LITTLE PIG THAT WAS IN THE SMALL HOUSE????

mikantsumikan: no

GundhamTops: chill bro she didnt eat hamr

GundhamTops: hes with me

GundhamTops: littlepiggy.jpeg

Komaedaddy: hamr is the name?

KazuichiBottoms: Indeed. Hamr as in Hammer.

hamhands: ham

mikantsumikan: aye sup twogami

hamhands: aye

smolnterrible: mikan sucks

mikantsumikan: hiyoko swallows

smolnterrible: ADFSGISH holy shit im done im not gonna fight u anymore

mikantsumikan: why were you even doing that in the first place?

smolnterrible: idfk but

smolnterrible: oH WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT, I GOTTA GO SQUISH SOME ANTS NOW

smolnterrible is now offline

*screams*: ITS BECAUSE SHES A BIG TSUN TSUN YKNOW

hamhands: to anyone who says saionji isnt a gay tsun, i applaud their denseness

smolnterrible is now online

smolnterrible: IM NOT GAY

mikantsumikan: hey now hey now lets not pick on the kid

smolnterrible: i hate you

*screams*: TSUNDERE-ING INTENSIFIES

smolnterrible: stfu ibuki

GoBackToTumblr: I mean, she isn’t wrong...

smolnterrible: even big sis mahiru WHYYYYY

PekoBirb: betrayed

GoBackToTumblr: I mean, you are a big gay tsundere so...

BossBaby: big gay tsun

smolnterrible: big gay tsun

smolnterrible: WAIT WE’RE TALKING ABOUT ME SHIT

smolnterrible: not big gay tsun

GundhamTops: she admitted u guys

KazuichiBottoms: congrats, you finally accepted that you are, in fact, very gay.

PekoBirb: welcome to the club lmao

mikantsumikan: welcome to the big gay club where no one is straight

OJ: v gay

Komaedaddy: ^ gay

PekoBirb: ^ gay

mikantsumiki: im bi lol

GundhamTops: gayer than komaeda on a double rainbow 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈

KazuichiBottoms: ^ mood

BossBaby: oof im straight

prev: i swing all ways

*screams*: ^ IBUKI IS PANNNN

meathead: what are we talking about??

roundcat: about how no one here is straight

BossBaby: ow okay just ignore me then

roundcat: sorry fuyuhiko

meathead: im foodsexual u guys

roundcat: NICE

*screams*: YOU GO AKANE

rouncat: WE SUPPORT YOU

meathead: thanks u guys

GoBackToTumblr: So according to Hinata, apparently I’m moronsexual.

OJ: im right tho, ibuki’s ur gf

*screams*: OW

GoBackToTumblr: Its ok you’re not that stupid.

smolnterrible: hey i want ice cream

smolnterrible: big sis lets go get some ice cream

smolnterrible is now offline

*screams*: OH FUCK ICE CREAM??

meathead: YO CAN I JOIN???

*screams*: LETS GO GET SOME ICE CREAM BRO

meathead: HELL YEAH

meathead is now offline

*screams* is now offline

hamhands: huh. looks like hinata was right.

GoBackToTumblr: ...he is.

GoBackToTumblr is now offline

PekoBirb: reverse maki nishikino

mikantsumikan: what

hamhands: what

OJ: what

PekoBirb: if mikan and i have a kid, theres a possibility that it might look like a reverse maki nishikino

PekoBirb: like i mean purple hair and red eyes

mikantsumikan: holy shit

PekoBirb: ikr???

OJ: and here we see two idiot lesbians conversing about how their child might look like a reverse maki nishikino...

mikantsumikan: jesus peko i love you and all but neither of us have a dick

Komaedaddy: jesus peko

PekoBirb: science babies mikan

mikantsumikan: o yeah

OJ: peko is jesus

PekoBirb: praise me u guys

BossBaby: do we gotta nail her on the cross too?

PekoBirb: please dont

OJ: not exactly nail but we’re just gonna tie her up on the cross and leave her there for a day

roundcat: yo wat

prev: kinky

PekoBirb: thats kinky, hajime

OJ: no hetero tho

PekoBirb: hey you’re not actually gonna tie me up on a cross will you?

KazuichiBottoms: worry not. we will feed you.

PekoBirb: WHAT THE FUCK YOU GUYS

PekoBirb: AFVAJSBSYA

PekoBirb is now offline

mikantsumikan: dw babe we’ll make sure you dont actually die

OJ: i got em

Komaedaddy: i got hoesss

Komaedaddy: callinnn

GundhamTops: i s2g if you sing mo bamba

Komaedaddy: at least i didnt play the ussr anthem on the pa system

GundhamTops: oh that time when one of the 79 kids played otamatone songs on the intercom

Komaedaddy: yea they got in trouble for that right?

OJ: since we’re talking about 79 who here went to the kirumi vs car race?

Komaedaddy: not me

mikantsumikan: i was busy

GundhamTops: me and brodham lol

Komaedaddy: who won?

KazuichiBottoms: tojo-san, surprisingly. and saihara was driving at full speed.

roundcat: oh i was there!

roundcat: tojo just went nyoom

OJ: ADGSGSVS NYOOM

Komaedaddy: kirumi tojo goes nyoom

roundcat: yes

OJ: wait sahara drove?

roundcat: yup! apparently saihara can drive!

Komaedaddy: that reminds me of that story iruma told me

OJ: you hang out with iruma?

Komaedaddy: sometimes yeah

Komaedaddy: so there was a test in a class that she had with saihara

Komaedaddy: she said that whenever he would try to remember the answer he would pretend to drive a car

roundcat: IM JUST IMAGINING SAIHARA IN THE MIDDLE OF A TEST GOING: vroom vroom oh shoot i accidentally hit something

Komaedaddy: ADFSGSGS IM SCREAMING

OJ: KSKSKSKSK

mikantsumikan: vroom vroom mudafukas

mikantsumikan: so,,,, we still gonna tie up peko?? or nah??

GundhamTops: gf of the year award

Komaedaddy: r we gonna tape her to the pillar or tie her on a cross???

KazuichiBottoms: what whered you get the taping her to a pillar?

Komaedaddy: idfk

prev: tie her on a cross lmao

mikantsumikan: brb im puttin shorts under peko’s skirt

prev: aw darn

hamhands: wait what

hamhands: is pekoyama not awake?

mikantsumikan: uhhh

OJ: ...

Komaedaddy: no

roundcat: YOU GUYS ARE ACTUALLY GONNA DO IT??

hamhands: oh god

GundhamTops: WTF DID YOU DO

OJ: chill we didnt hit her over the head or smthn we just used a tranquilizer

mikantsumikan: guys...shes not breathing

OJ: OH SHIT

Komaedaddy: OH FUCK OH FUCK

OJ: OK R U STILL IN THE CLOSET WE NEED TO HIDE THE BODY

Komaedaddy: I GUESS YOU CAN SAY ITS HOMIECIDE

OJ: NAGITO NOWS NOT THE TIME FOR JOKES

mikantsumikan: jk shes alive

OJ: MIKAN

Komaedaddy: DUDE WH

mikantsumikan: its joke u guys

hamhands: oh good i almost called the police on you.

roundcat: DUDE WHAT KIND OF SICK JOKE IS THAT

PekoBirb is now online

PekoBirb: IM ALIVE

PekoBirb: ARSBSHSBAHBSKSDHISABXJX

PekoBirb is now offline

Komaedaddy: hey i think we shouldn’t tranquilze her

hamhands: i never knew komaeda would be the one to come through in this situation. good job.

Komaedaddy: we should kidnap her in her sleep instead

mikantsumikan: lmao twogami’s expectations

hamhands: i stand corrected.

Komaedaddy: :)

OJ: nice idea ko

OJ: now when will she wake up so we can apologize?

mikantsumikan: idk maybe in a few hours?

OJ: shit what time is it, ko?

Komaedaddy: dont u have a fkin clock on ur phone?

OJ: stfu

Komaedaddy: its like 5:30 PM

mikantsumikan: wait weve been here for two hours??

OJ: two hours and 20 minutes actually

mikantsumikan: what

Komaedaddy: so uhh what tf are we gonna do for a plan?

OJ: uhh wake her up?

mikantsumikan: one does not simply wake someone up after u tranq them

OJ: shit

hamhands: just,,,, just put her on her bed. let her sleep i guess

mikantsumikan: hajimeme help me carry her

OJ: ko and i r on our way

tachi is now online

neko is now online

neko: hi what the fuck

tachi: hi guys whats up?

OJ: the ceiling

hamhands: they’re kidnapping pekoyama

neko: WHAT

tachi: huh? Why?

OJ: jesus peko

tachi: but jesus was nailed on the cross??

mikantsumikan: we r tying her to a cross

neko: but w h y?

mikantsumikan: jesus peko

hamhands: ^thats all they say

roundcat: uhhh

GundhamTops: YOU GUYS ARE NUTS IM OUTTA HERE

OJ: hey dont talk like i dont know about the train

meathead is now online

meathead: I HEARD TRAINS WASSUP

OJ: SOUDA HAS A TRAIN IN HIS LAB

meathead: dude,,, thas cool

Komaedaddy: lets take it for a ride tomorrow lmao

hamhands: did you guys finish sorting out pekoyama?

OJ: ya

GundhamTops: okay

Komaedaddy: hey souda we wanna ride the train

meathead: yassss

GundhamTops: fine. tomorrow, in my lab. i’ll meet you guys there.

meathead: TRAINSSSS

*screams* is now online

*screams*: I HEARD TRAINS

meathead: SCROLL UP

*screams*: EYYY SOUDA

GundhamTops: it has a few problems with the speed so you guys have to sign a contract just in case we crash

meathead: OOF

meathead: lol k

*screams*: HEY @GoBackToTumblr, CAN I?

GoBackToTumblr is now online

GoNackToTumblr: It doesn’t seem safe...

*screams*: she said no u guys :(

meathead: big sad

GoBackToTumblr: Sigh... you can go.

*screams*: FUCK YEAAAAAAAA

meathead: AYYYY

*screams*: HEY PANTA WE DONT NEED A LI

meathead: go on

*screams*: LICENSCENCES

GundhamTops: license? we dont need it to drive the train, why?

*screams*: LETS FUCKIN DRIVE IT TO THE CLUB

GoBackToTumblr: IBUKI

*screams*: NVM WIFEY SAYS NO

OJ: WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU SUGGEST TO GO TO A CLUB WHEN UR WIFU IS HERE LMAO

GundhamTops: you tried

*screams*: WHERE WE GONNA DRIVE IT THO?

meathead: THE FUCKIN SCHOOL, DUH.

*screams*: NOICE

meathead: LETS HAVE A FEAST

OJ: YO @prev HIT US UP WITH THAT GOOD SHIT

mikantsumikan: lol leave some food for me and peko im watching over her rn

prev: sure

meathead: FUCK YEAAAAA

hamhands: this is going to end terribly..


	29. what the fuck did i just write pt.2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i really dont fucking know what exactly gives me these ideas

[Panta Land Dictatorship]

weenie: why is pekoyama-senpai tied to a cross in the courtyard?

avocadabra: what the fuck

SpiderMom: And I thought that what I witnessed was weird.

comrade: whachu see?

SpiderMom: Ouma lying on the counter with Harukawa pouring milk and cereal in his mouth and Momota observing.

comrade: well its not as weird as seeing someone riding a tricycle in the hallway backwards with a mask on and realizing they’re not riding it backwards and its just the mask and they turn around and look at you while they wear shades and several people’s heads pop out from behind the walls wearing shades on top of uraraka masks and they take off the sunglasses simultaneously and it reveals that it was derp uraraka and they all scream collectively

comrade: so yeah yall havent seen shit

avocadabra: what the fuck is wrong with the people in our school

avocadabra: and i just came across kuwata and chihiro pretending as if they’re in a video game while saihara and hagakure hold controllers

avocadabra: togami’s showering them with money wtf

avocadabra: and,,, they’re both shouting the moves wtf

weenie: who?

avocadabra: the ones with the controllers

AmazonKiibo is now online

AmazonKiibo: Why is Pekoyama-san tied on a cross?

weenie: thats what we’re trying to piece lol

CultLeader is now online

CultLeader: hey yall wtf

CultLeader: shslthirdwheel.jpeg

SpiderMom: There are so many things wrong with that picture.

avocadabra: first of all why tf does kirigiri have a lobster on her head

avocadabra: second, what the fuck why is maizono’s arm around kirigiri grabbing the latter’s boob?

avocadabra: third, why the fuck is fukawa holding both of their hands?

AmazonKiibo: ??? I cant see the picture??? It wont load???

weenie: screenshot.jpeg

AmazonKiibo: it,,, it wont load

weenie: in the pic is a front view of kirigiri, maizono and fukawa walking together. kirigiri in the middle, sayaka on the left and fukawa on the right.

weenie: sayaka has an arm around kirigiri and is grabbing her left boob, kirigiri’s left hand is holding sayaka’s hand (the one on the boob) and fukawa’s hand is on top of kirigiri’s.

weenie: did i mention kirigiri has a lobster on her head?

SpiderMom: Why is Fukawa with them? Wont she usually be with Ikusaba at the library at this hour?

CultLeader: junko and celeste dragged her to the mall 

avocadabra has added OJ to Panta Land Dictatorship

OJ: yo

avocadabra: yo why tf peko tied on the cross?

OJ: jesus peko

avocadabra: what

CultLeader: LOL THEYRE TYING OUMA ON ANOTHER CROSS

madokamagica: WTF

SpiderMom: WHO?

CultLeader: MOMOTA

CultLeader: HARUKAWA’S MURMURING SOMETHING ABOUT ‘LAST SUPPER’

FUCKYOU is now online

FUCKYOU: CEREAL IS HIS LAST SUPPER

SpiderMom: MY SON

FUCKYOU: YOUR SON IS DED

madokamagica: lmao is kirumi maty

madokamagica: mary

SpiderMom: WHAT

OJ: but i thought it was jesus peko???

OJ: nvm ouma’s jesus now

OJ: we need the other guy

avocadabra: wtf do you mean other guy

OJ: uhhh there were three guys on the cross right?

FUCKYOU: ya

madokamagica: oh god he went to the hpa chatroom

AmazonKiibo: WHAT IS GOING ONNN ANYMOREEE????

avocadabra: wtf where’s our principal??? where’s the teachers???? why is komaeda inside a mop cart with nanami pushing him??? what the fuck is going on???

FUCKYOU: lmao theyre in a meeting

SpiderMom: Surely they would hear the commotion and Amami screaming?

FUCKYOU: they would hear it yes. but they’re used to it.

FUCKYOU: and we locked them in

SpiderMom: What? How?

FUCKYOU: barricade

FUCKYOU is now offline

SpiderMom: WHAT THE FUCK

avocadabra: WHY ARE YOU ON A TRAIN WITH MIU, SOUDA, IBUKI, TANAKA AND AKANE, TSUMUGI???

weenie: trains are fun

avocadabra: WHY IS IT ON HIGH SPEED

weenie: idfk ask miu

CultLeader: JFC WHY WOULD YOU THROW YOUR PHONE

accident#2 is now online

accident#2: hi this is tsumugi

accident#2: i meant to pass it to miu but it flew away sorry angie

CultLeader: MY FUCKING NOSE

accident#2: sorry

CultLeader is now offline

aacident#2: hey can some1 pick up my phone, thanks

accident#2 is now offline

SpiderMom: Jesus.

SpiderMom: Bye, I’m gonna go down some russian water. Fuck you all. Fuck my life. I have failed as a mother.

SpiderMom: I’m gonna drink until I pass out now.

SpiderMom is now offline

avocadabra: welp mom gave up on us.

avocadabra: so long comrades

avocadabra is now offline

[Hope’s Peak Academy]

KirigiriJin: LET US OUT

OJ: HEY YALL WHO WANNA BE TIED TO A CROSS

Kyobro: kinky

Yukizome: WHY IS THE DOOR BARRICADED

FUCKYOU: hey how about sm1 from 78 since we have one from 77 and 79

OJ: ey

OJ: SM1 FROM 78

IHaveLotsOfPersonality: lmao hb leon

11037: FUCK NO

OJ: NO ONE SAID YOU HAD A SAY IN IT

11037: hsbsnsj

11037 is now offline

420BlazeIt: lol wat

Yukizome: WHAT

[Mukubro/IHaveLotsOfPersonality]

Mukubro: hey tofu hows it going over there in hpa

IHaveLotsOfPersonality: lmao the usual

IHaveLotsOfPersonality: tsumiki, komaeda and hinata tied up pekoyama on a cross

IHaveLotsOfPersonality: souda, his boyfriend and several others r riding around in a train in the school on full speed

IHaveLotsOfPersonality: shirogane threw her fucking phone while on the train and probably broke yonaga’s nose

IHaveLotsOfPersonality: her nose was bleeding last time i saw her

IHaveLotsOfPersonality: yknow just the usual

Mukubro: so everythings gone to shit

[Hope’s Peak Academy Chatroom]

YaBoiKizakura: LET US OUT GODDAMNIT

Yukizome: IKUSABA LET US OUT

Yukizome: @Mukubro

KirigiriJin: IKUSABA PLEASE YOU’RE THE ONLY SANE ONE HERE NOW

Mukubro: im sorry but im at the mall

[Mukubro/IHaveLotsOfPersonality]

IHaveLotsOfPersonality: oh did i mention tojo’s drinking herself to sleep?

Mukubro: YO SHE MIGHT DIE STOP HER

IHaveLotsOfPersonality: she says to let her be

IHaveLotsOfPersonality: dw tho im gonna stop her if she goes too far

Mukubro: welp gl out there tofu

IHaveLotsOfPersonality: hopefully a drunk tojo wont be that hard to deal with

IHaveLotsOfPersonality: well have fun at the mall mumu ily

Mukubro: i will ly2

IHaveLotsOfPersonality is now offline

Mukubro is now offline

[Hope’s Peak Academy Chatroom]

KirigiriJin: Thank you, Amami-san for setting us free.

avocadabra: no problem, sir

SpiderMom: heh u guuyss r ao ficked

FUCKYOU: oof


	30. saihara’s moobies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yes i titled it ‘saihara’s moobies’

[Panta Land Dictatorship]

oom: maki: im not like other girls

FUCKYOU: thats cuz im a boy

oom: wait

FUCKYOU: wait

avocadabra: wait

gaylock: what

madokamagica: wait what the fuk

comrade: r u really?

FUCKYOU: no

FUCKYOU: i was born a girl

comrade: a girl with no tits

madokamagica: big sad

FUCKYOU: why would i need my own tits if my girlfriend has huge ones

oom: wait can you fit them tiddies in ur hand?

FUCKYOU: ya

gaylock: kaito just grabbed my chest wtf

SpaceJam: i can fit saihara’s boob in my hand

gaylock: these are pecs

SpaceJam: theyre boobs

CultLeader: saihara’s man tiddies!

gaylock: why are you like this?

oom: becuz its your tiddies, saihara

madokamagica: moobs

BlondeBimbo: fun fact: when i was a small child my favourite word was moobs, according to my parents

comrade: moobies

CultLeader: imagine seeing like a 4 year old running around screaming ‘MOOBS!!’

BlondeBimbo: i mustve scarred a ton of people

madokamagica: i would be laughing my fucking ass off and clapping

oom: JSJSJSJS IM SCREAMING

SpaceJam: SHUMAI’S MOOBIES ARE MOOBS LIKE NO OTHER

oom: mitties

BlondeBimbo: matatas

CultLeader: hakuna matata lmao

gaylock: WHY ARE YOU ALL LIKE THIS????

oom: hakuna ur tatas, saihara-chan!

FUCKYOU: calm them tits, shumai

AmazonKiibo: de-stress your breasts, Saihara-kun!

madokamagica: ADFSG KIIBO

oom: IM PROUD OF YOU KIIBOY

SpaceJam: GOOD JOB KIIBS

FUCKYOU: yes gj kiibo now grab saihara’s moobs

gaylock: PLEASE DONT

AmazonKiibo: But isn’t that sexual harrasment?

FUCKYOU: grab the fucking titties, kiiboy

AmazonKiibo: I-I don’t want to...

gaylock: YES KIIBO SIDE WITH ME

oom: KIIBO GRAB THE TIDDIES

AmazonKiibo: W-What????

SpaceJam: cup the titty, son

gaylock: KAITO NO

AmazonKiibo: N-No???? I-I will not t-touch Saihara-kun’s moob!

madokamagica: kiibo said moob, nice

gaylock: DONT TOUCH MY CHEST

oom: HOLY FUCK I CAN IMAGINE HIM DOING THAT POSE THAT HE DOES

FUCKYOU: LOL

comrade: WHAT POSE???

oom: THAT ONE WHEN HE CLUTCHES HIS CHEST

CultLeader: TOUCH THE TREASURE CHEST, KIIBO

AmazonKiibo: IM SO CONFUSED?????

AmazonKiibo: WWHY ARE YOU TELLING ME TO TOUCH HIS CHEST????

avocadabra is now online

oom: JUST TOUCH IT

FUCKYOU: DO IT

comrade: JUST DO IT

comrade: DONT LET YOUR DREAMS BE DREAMS

AmazonKiibo: BUT ITS NOT MY DREAM TO TOUCH HIS CHEST

avocadabra: what the fuck is wrong with yall

madokamagica: says the one saying ‘yall’

avocadabra: i s2g everyday that you guys are here, there’s chaos

avocadabra: dont fucking sass me himiko

FUCKYOU: who tf do you think we are?

CultLeader: chaos is angie’s middle name!

oom: angie chaos yonaga

FUCKYOU: nice

gaylock: finally, save me rantaro

avocadabra: what did the idiots do?

weenie is now online

weenie: save ur damsel in distress

FUCKYOU: saihara in distress

gaylock: saihara = stress

gaylock: they were trying to get kiibo to touch my chest

weenie: hot yaoi

gaylock has kicked weenie from Panta Land Dictatorship

gaylock: no

avocadabra: dont even bother with it, saihara

avocadabra: theres no one here with their head screwed on right

avocadabra: and even if there were, they are super rare

oom: just join our boob cult, kiiboy!

CultLeader: in order to join you must grab em titties >:3

avocadabra: im so done

avocadabra is now offline

SpiderMom is now online

SpiderMom: Good afternoon everyone.

SpiderMom: Why are you all online?

madokamagica: its bc we can

SpiderMom: No. I mean; why are Ouma, Momota, Shirogane, Harukawa online? Aren’t you all in detention?

oom: dont expose me

SpaceJam: oof

FUCKYOU: rules are made to be broken

SpiderMom: No, no they are not. You all better get off your phones before the teacher guarding catches you and gives you more detention.

weenie: welp bye

weenie is now offline

oom: country roads

oom: take me home

oom: to the place

oom: PROVOLONE

SpiderMom: Get off your phone or else I’m not buying Panta for you.

oom: k bye mom

oom is now offline

SpaceJam: welp bye

SpaceJam is now offline

FUCKYOU is now offline

CultLeader: oof my comrades 3:

weenie is now online

weenie: oh yeah one more thing

weenie: sorry about the nose angie

CultLeader: its find!

CultLeader: *fine

CultLeader: now go on before you get caught, young one

weenie: *salutes*

weenie is now offline

AmazonKiibo: Well, I have to go now!

CultLeader: bye kiibs!

madokamagica: bye

gaylock: bye

AmazonKiibo is now offline

madokamagica: im going to bed

gaylock: but its 5 in the afternoon????

comrade: she literally can fall asleep anytime anywhere. your point, saihara?

gaylock: oof well good night to yumeno i guess

CultLeader: ooh! angie wants to go sleep too! lets cuddle, tenko-chan!

comrade: aight!

comrade is now offline

CultLeader is now offline

madokamagica: now if ull excuse me, i have couple to go squeeze between for warmth

madokamagica is now offline

gaylock: at least now they wont touch my chest

SpiderMom: Ah. I suppose I shall get going now. I have a lot to clean. Now if you’ll excuse me..

SpiderMom is now offline

gaylock: k

gaylock: welp more time to read

gaylock is now offline


	31. The Gang Starts A Fire (and makes Tsumugi cry)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hi welcome to my tedtalk. jk. its back yall. this chap isnt a chat-pter btw just a heads up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i started this chapter at around 3:15 and now its 4:20. in the morning. nice. great sleep schedule i have. also, blaze it.

Maki, Kokichi, Angie, Korekiyo, Ryoma, Tsumugi and Miu were walking in the woods next to Hope's Peak. "Why the fuck are we here again?" Miu asked. "And why did I have to bring my manga...?" Tsumugi asked as she dragged a wooden chest filled with manga behind her. "AND why are you shits carrying fucking fire extinguishers?" Miu motioned to Maki and Korekiyo carrying four fire extinguishers in total. No one knows where they got it. Maki was carrying three while Kiyo was carrying one.

"Kukuku. I will be teaching you how to use a fire extinguisher," Korekiyo responded. "Dunno why he's teaching us that but I heard fire and wanted to go," Maki said.

"Nishishi~ This is gonna be so fun~!" Kokichi said, putting emphasis on fun. "Nyahaha! Angie agrees!" Angie quipped.

Soon, the group arrived at an open spot. "Okay...what are we gonna do now..?" Tsumugi asked, clearly confused. Kiyo leaned down and opened the chest. "What...?" Tsumugi was still very confused. Miu looked at the anthropologist confusingly. "For someone so smart you guys really are stupid!" Kokichi teased.

Kiyo tried to lift the chest on one side, only for it to lift a little bit then fall back down. "Harukawa," Kiyo simply said. Maki walked up to the chest and lifted it with ease, dumping out all the manga.

"...the fuck?" Miu asked. Korekiyo took out a flask out of his pocket. He screwed off the cap and started pouring the liquid on the mountain of manga. "What the fuck are you doing!?" Tsumugi panicked. Her manga was ruined now. "What the fuck is that?" Miu asked. "Yeah, I'm with her. What are you pouring there, Kiyo?" Ryoma asked.

"Kerosene," Kiyo stopped pouring and screwed back the cap. "Why!?" Tsumugi yelled as she picked up a volume of Fullmetal Alchemist and tried to salvage the book but to no avail.

"Now, children," Kiyo pulled out a lighter and lit the manga on fire, unaware that the 'children', sans Ryoma, weren't listening. "This is how you use a fire extinguisher," He reached for a fire extinguisher. "First--wait," Kiyo looked at the 'fire extinguisher' but instead of a fire extinguisher, it was a hare. He was grabbing said hare by the ears. He looked up to see 1) Miu drawing dicks on everything with a fire extinguisher, 2) Maki, Kokichi and Angie chasing each other, fire extinguishers in hand and was using the extinguishers to shoot, 3) Ryoma sitting on the grass poking at the fire with a stick amd 4) Tsumugi curled up, leaning on a tree and crying. It seems like he didn't have to show them how. They already knew. He set down the hare, who ran away.

"Ah!" Suddenly, Kiyo remembered the fire. "Someone give me a fire extinguisher," He said, voice managing to stay calm despite the quickly growing fire next to him. Maki threw her extinguisher at him and he manged to catch it. He aimed the nozzle at the fire but no foam came out as he pressed the handle. "Its... its empty." By now, Ryoma was far away from the fire and the three stopped playing.

"Angie's is empty too!" Angie said as she pointed the nozzle around only for nothing to come out. "Nishishi! Mines out too!" The group turned to Miu who was just about to finish drawing a dick on the grass but failed as she ran out of foam. "Aw fuck..." She tried to shake the can as if foam would magically materialise inside. "Holy shit! That was our last one!" Angie yelled.

"...shit." The group swore in sync as the fire grew bigger. "AAAHHH!" Miu screamed. "EVERYONE STAY CALM!" Kiyo yelled as everyone, sans Tsumugi and Ryoma, panicked. Maki took off her uniform shirt, which left her in only a white tank top, and tried to put out the fire. Angie tried to use the used foam but it didn't work. Kokichi ran around, screaming his ass off. So did Miu. Ryoma was just standing there. "STAY FUCKING CALM!" Kiyo yelled once again as the group continued to panic.

In her attempt to put out the fire, one of Maki's four feet long pigtails caught on fire. She noticed and joined Kokichi and Miu in screaming. She ran around, effectively setting the trees her hair touched, on fire. She found a nearby pond and jumped in it.

\--------------------

"So that's how you guys got detention? You burnt half a forest to the ground?" Tenko asked. Angie nodded. "Yup! Yup!" "Shh! Not too loud!"

They were now in a classroom in Hope's Peak, in detention. Tsumugi was still crying, albeit for a different reason. Maki's overshirt was nowhere to be found and she was now drying herself with towels. Kokichi was tapping at the desk with a pencil, annoying Miu who was trying to nap. Ryoma was drawing cats on a piece of paper. Kiyo was silently tapping his fingers. Tenko and Angie talking and Kizakura, who was supposed to be supervising, was sleeping.

The day didn't as expected but hey, at least they got to play with fire extinguishers. Don't set a fire in the forest, kids. That's dangerous.


	32. kirumi fucking quotes darius benson, kokichi freaks the fuck out, celes apparently is a basic bitch with her starbucks selfies and someone gets fucking hit by a car

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> its back. and kaito apparently doesn't know what the fuck a percussion is

[Hope's Peak Chatroom, 8:16]

accident#1: THIS IS PURE TORTURE  
Komaedaddy: wtf  
Broleste: what the duck are you on about  
accident#1: WHO LET MOM WATCH DARIUS BENSON VINES  
Broleste: what  
accident#1: every TIME I DO SOMETHING OR FUCK UP SHE SAYS 'WHAT WE LEARN'  
Komaedaddy: vine is dead  
Broleste: shove your worthless opinions up your ass, komaeda  
Komaedaddy: i will  
Komaedaddy: with hajime's help of course ;)  
OJ: oooo  
Broleste: ew ew

[Hope's Peak Chatroom, 8:38]

accident#1: SOMEONE FUCKING TURN MOM BACK  
FUCKYOU: haha  
FUCKYOU: i just saw tsumugi drop her ice cream while she was walking and reading and kirumi just drives by on a fucking segway screaming "WHAT WE LEARN, TSUMUGI?" tsumugi just fucking cried lmao  
FUCKYOU: this is the best fucking thing i ever seen  
accident#1: IT WONT BE FUN WHEN YOU GET HIT BY A CAR AND KIRUMI SAYS WHAT WE LEARN  
FUCKYOU: hah like thatd ever happen

[Hope's Peak Chatroom, 8:49]

Broleste: oh god little shit is right this is terrible  
accident#1: SEE  
Broleste: hah he didnt even deny it  
Mondbro: cmon shes just having some fun  
FashionJunkie: lmao what happened  
Broleste: i spilled my starbucks on my shirt because i slammed on a wall walking while trying to take a picture and the bitch just goes 'what we learn'  
FashionJunkie: lmao  
Mondbro: well,,,,

[Hope's Peak Chatroom, 9:58]

PekoBirb: WHAT WE LEARN MOTHERFUCKERS???  
BossBaby: oh fuck turn kirumi back  
accident#2: no lmao  
PekoBirb: haha no  
terufriedchicken: lmao wat hppned?  
accident#1: usually im all for this but,,,  
accident#1: it was funny the first two times but now its just annoying  
meatmeatthegym: lmao why is tojo-san riding around in a swagway, wearing shades, gucci slides and a light green jumpsuit  
BossBaby: she looks like a fucking celery riding on a segway  
meatmeatthegym: swegway celery  
terufriedchicken: lmao kirumi "the celery" tojo  
meatmeatthegym: kirumi tojo, alias celery stick  
PekoBirb: the most dangerous stick of celery you will ever meet  
accident#2: watch out for celery stick  
SpiderMom is now online  
SpiderMom: sup fuckers  
SpiderMom: im tired of being yall's mom so i went an yeeted that shit  
Broleste: the past tense of yeet is yote you stupid celery fuck  
SpiderMom: i do what the fuck i want you count dracula's kid lookin ass motherfucker  
Broleste: well fuck you celery stick  
accident#2: hey what the fuck shitkawa isnt online?  
Broleste: ya  
BossBaby: that's weird,,,, she basically lives here  
SpiderMom: bye  
SpiderMom is now offline  
terufriedchicken: ????  
PekoBirb: ?  
accident#2: haijimemes is gone and so is nagaytoo??  
BossBaby: theyre probably fucking  
accident#1: rt  
Broleste: oh hi ur back  
accident#1: ye  
Broleste: yeet  
BossBaby: brb im gonna eat breakfast  
terufriedchicken: o ye i remember why im here now  
terufriedchicken: breakfast is ready boiz  
meatmeatthegym: yeet  
meatmeatthegym is now offline  
terufriedchicken has changed their name to teruyaki  
teruyaki is now offline  
BossBaby is now offline  
Broleste: bye  
Broleste is now offline  
accident#1: BEKFAST  
accident#1 is now offline  
accident#2 is now offline

[Hope's--holy shit you know how it goes, 3:28]

FUCKYOU: fuck  
OJ: wat  
FUCKYOU: oh hi had a good fuck  
OJ: yea  
Komaedaddy: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
MIBUKIODA: GET THAT DICK AND GO  
Komaedaddy: clap clap  
OJ: lmao  
OJ: what the fuck happened to you  
FUCKYOU: i fukin died  
FUCKYOU: temporarily anyway  
Komaedaddy: lucky  
tennismidget: ah lucky  
BEE: :(  
tennismidget: nvm  
FUCKYOU: death almost consumed me  
FUCKYOU: casts fucking suck too  
accident#1: owo  
FUCKYOU: im fucking suing you  
accident#1: IT WASNT ME WHO DROVE THE CAR YOU CANT SUE ME  
FUCKYOU: oh  
OJ: WAIT WHAT THE FUCK  
FUCKYOU: i got hit by a car  
FUCKYOU: dw im alive  
BEE: ah! Be careful next time!  
tennismidget: did u use a totem of undying  
FUCKYOU: fuck yea  
FUCKYOU: why do you think im not dead  
accident#1: probably cuz ur captain america in a teenage girl's body???  
FUCKYOU: thats like,,, one of the nicest thing youve ever said to me  
FUCKYOU: anyway  
FUCKYOU: some fucko hit me with their car and nyoomed  
FUCKYOU: now i have a concussion and a broken leg  
FUCKYOU: also kirumi was there in the ambulance, trying to keep me awake  
FUCKYOU: guess what the fuck she said  
accident#1: not so funny now huh???  
FUCKYOU: srsly tho we need kirumi back  
accident#1: we're already out of balance since ur a being an out of character trouble making trouble maker now!1!1!1!1! we dun need mom to be like you!!  
accident#1: it needs to be perfectly balanced as all things should be!!!  
FUCKYOU: get the infinity gauntlet  
CultLeader is now online  
CultLeader: angie will knock some sense into her!  
SpaceJam: like hit her with a rolling pin?  
CultLeader: exactamundo!  
FUCKYOU: aight angie give mom a concussion  
SpaceJam: why tf would you give mom a drum  
CultLeader: wat  
accident#1: wtf  
SpaceJam: isnt a concussion that type of instrument where u bang on it to make music  
FUCKYOU: i fear for your future kids  
SpaceJam: i wont have kids tho???  
FUCKYOU: ah right  
CultLeader: kaito,,,, thats a percussion  
FUCKYOU: drums are percussions  
CultLeader: not concussion  
FUCKYOU: oof  
SpaceJam: oh  
CultLeader: anywayyyyy  
CultLeader: angies gonna BEAT some sense into her ;)  
MIBUKIODA: BA DUM TSSSS  
FUCKYOU: ohohoho ahahaha  
CultLeader: hehe  
OJ: punz  
accident#1: back to normal!1!1!1!1!!!1!1!1!1!


	33. .

[4:20PM, Hope's Peak Chatroom]

nyanners: pussy  
avocadaddy is now online  
nyanners: pussy  
avocadaddy: .  
avocadaddy is now offline  
owoma: congregations!!! u scared assmami with pussy!  
nyanners: pussy  
puckyou: wtf is going on and why is yonaga saying pussy  
nyanners: bc,,,  
nyanners: pussy  
puckyou: i,,,, ok  
puckyou: understandable, have a glorious motherfucking day  
owoma: pussy  
noodlelesbian is now online  
noodlelesbian: p pussy?  
nyanners: pussy  
owoma: pussy  
BallsOfMeat: pussy?  
AAAAAH-OYE: pussy  
teruyaki: owo???? pussy????  
nyanners: p p p p pussy  
noodlelesbian: pussy  
teruyaki: pussy  
SpiderMom is now online  
AAAAAH-OYE: pussay  
nyanners: pusshay  
owoma: puss puss  
SpiderMom: I think I'm going to start going back to church now...  
puckyou: we need god (if there is one)  
owoma: hold the fuck up  
theFuckuptmtm is now online  
theFuckuptmtm: yo waddup you called?  
owoma: not now luck boi  
owoma: maki does not believe in god?  
puckyou: no   
puckyou: not really no  
nyanners: submit to pussy!  
nyanners: *atua  
SpiderMom: That...wasn't even close.  
nyanners: shut your fuck, mother  
puckyou: im not submitting to pussy  
theFuckuptmtm: lmao same im 2 gay 4 that  
puckyou: i dominate the pussy  
SpiderMom: If our boat sinks when we go fishing tomorrow, I'm not saving any of you.  
puckyou: i can swim  
SpiderMom: Watch your life jacket mysteriously disappear and suddenly you can't.  
owoma: oooo mama threatening makmak  
puckyou: i can still swim  
SpiderMom: We'll see, Harukawa...we'll see...  
puckyou: ominous but okay mom  
puckyou: we'll see  
scissorsister is now online  
scissorsister: oKAY IM TIRED OF THIS SHIT AM I GOING CRAZY????  
TheFuckuptmtm: arent we all?  
owoma: uwu you already were, toki-chan~~  
nyanners: pussy  
AAAAAH-OYE: pussy  
noodlelesbian: pussy  
teruyaki: pussy  
scissorsister: okay i dont fucking know why you guys are saying pussy neither do i give a shit but someone's been fucking around and moving things and shit since a week ago  
scissorsister: like the fridge and the toaster, someone keeping moving the fucking things little by little  
scissorsister: and those fucking ornaments in the garden move in different places every single day  
scissorsister: this is driving me up the fucking wall  
teruyaki: like how muku-chan does, uwu?  
AAAAAH-OYE: ayeeee  
nyanners: ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)  
scissorsister: MUKURO SAID SHE SAW NO DIFFERENCE WHEN I SHOWED HER THE TOASTER  
scissorsister: LIKE,,, BRUH  
puckyou: like bruh  
scissorsister: YES  
scissorsister: LIKE BRUH  
scissorsister: THE TOASTER IS FUCKINNNNN MOVED  
noodlelesbian: what did you do to move the toaster?   
noodlelesbian: also i didnt think youd be capable of saying something so heartfelt irl that it moved the toaster  
scissorsister: shut fuck, kirigiri  
scissorsister: toko fukawa does say heartfelt things in her free time fuck you  
noodlelesbian: i have a gf im not gonna fuck you  
scissorsister: sorry im not interested in you either  
scissorsister: nyway what the fuck? did satan get to earth or something? what kind of sick fuck would do that?  
AAAAAH-OYE: oh lol im the one who moved the garden thingys sorry of it bugged you  
scissorsister: whyyyy  
AAAAAH-OYE: i just thought it would be interesting if they were in different locations everyday  
scissorsister: are you the one who moved the fridge too?  
AAAAAH-OYE: fraid not lol  
scissorsister: uguuuu im gonna go take a nap  
scissorsister is now offline  
TheFuckuptmtm: naps r good  
teruyaki: back 2 pussy we go  
AAAAAH-OYE: pussy  
teruyaki: pussy  
noodlelesbian: pussy  
owoma: pussy  
BallsOfMeat: why cats?  
nyanners: tsk tsk pure akane  
nyanners: not cats,,, pussy  
BallsOfMeat: okay?  
nyanners: atussy  
owoma: 🅱ussy  
BallsOfMeat: ?  
teruyaki: owari-san, pussy as in a  
teruyaki: c  
teruyaki: o  
teruyaki: o  
Yukizome has kicked teruyaki, nyanners, owoma, noodlelesbian and AAAAAH-OYE from Hope's Peak Chatroom  
Yukizome: No tainting the innocent ones >:0  
tennismidget: ah lucky   
tennismidget: they got released  
titsmcgee: from the pussy jail  
Yukizome has kicked titsmcgee from Hope's Peak Chatroom  
tennismidget has left the chat  
Yukizome has added tennismidget to the chat  
tennismidget: :( release me please  
Yukizome: No leaving unless kicked.  
puckyou: wow sensei, i didnt know denying people release and kicking them were your kinks. sensei is a sadist now, apparently  
Yukizome has kicked puckyou from Hope's Peak Chatroom  
tennismidget: @BallsOfMeat oh yeah they were talking about pussy as in the genital  
BallsOfMeat: ooooooh okay lol  
Yukizome: wtf hoshi  
Yukizome has kicked tennismidget from Hope's Peak Chatroom  
BallsOfMeat: whyre they talking about coochie tho?  
Yukizome: ;-;   
SpiderMom: Task failed.


	34. gUESS WHOS BACK, BACK AGAIN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the junk is back yall

nyanners: have you accepted atua as your lord and saviour?

OhJay: have you accepted Beyonce as your lord and saviour?

nyanners: what

OhJay: [🅱eysus Christ](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/77/dd/c8/77ddc8cda2b66b54ccfa2493cc869c9a.jpg)

kukukunt: im interested...

neko: ive converted 

owoma: nishishi! our lord and saviour bey

owoma: also look look!

owoma: [DDLC](https://i.redd.it/k6wcucw4nmwz.png)

MadeOfMoney: Ouma, s t o p.

neko: i cant tell if it has text on the bottom

11037: yeah bro, stop

11037: mom might just s n a p

nyanners: that is beautiful i want to h a n g out with you now

junkie has added MonacaTowels

MonacaTowels: hi big sis junko!

harutakis: ew another gremlin

harutakis: fucking monikammmmmm

MonacaTowels: OH GOD NOT DDLC IVE HAD WAYYY TOO MUCH PUNS TOLD TO ME BYE

MonacaTowels has left the chat

harutakis: to those who havent played ddlc yet i suggest you take a stab at it

shumai: its really not my type though

shumai: its a dating sim right?

harutakis: oh trust me youll love it

shirodaddy: wtf i gifted ddlc to you on steam like,,, a year or two ago when it first came out

junkie: wot did you guys know each other before hpa???

shirodaddy: well we were friends back in middle school and its a long story so i wont bother

owoma: sorry mom but these memes are inevitable

harutakis has changed their name to Thanos

Thanos: I am inevitable.

owoma has changed their name to noobmaster69

noobmaster69: 

junkie: oh shit

Thanos: THE FUCK DID YOU SAY TO ME YOU LITTLE SHIT

neko: doki doki was shit and you cant tell me otherwise

Thanos: what

noobmaster69: what

kankanmikan: your opinion doesnt matter you big tiddied shit opinion bottom

neko: im only a bottom because im lazy

11037: what is tangerine bitch gonna fire back with

kankanmikan: oh yeah i just remembered you fall asleep a lot during sex

pEkO: wait how do you know this

kankanmikan: .

neko: i fucked ur gf

tachi: .

Thanos: o shit

noobmaster69: we'll be right back

pEkO: YOU'RE DEAD

kankanmikan: WAIT ITS BEFORE WE STARTED DATING

neko: actually, we had a pact that if we were both single by the time we become 25, were marrying each other

tachi: excuse me what the fuck

pEkO: eXPLAIN BEFORE I SLICE CHIAKI IN HALF

OhJay: blease dont kill my best friend she was fRAMED

kankanmikan: oh hey dyk shirogane and amami recently broke up

shirodaddy: ye

shirodaddy: i would know

Thanos: wait wot

noobmaster69: oh ye bc ranty recently came out as gay

shirodaddy: ye we still good bros tho

rantyavocadaddy: yep

OhJay: sir, how did you know you were Gay?

rantyavocadaddy: when i had v gay dreams about a certain someone

rantyavocadaddy: and then i realised, oh im not straight for tsumugi anymore

rantyavocadaddy: then i found out tsumugi was keeping a secret from me >:(

rantyavocadaddy: still mad that you withheld information 

shirodaddy: sorry :(

rantyavocado: we still gucci tho

shirodaddy: 👌👌

OhJay: oh nice

tachi: okay this is nice and all but whyd u break up???

rantyavocadaddy: well,,,, turns out both of us had crushes on other people for a bit and were planning to break it off with each other

rantyavocadaddy: so one night, she says 'hey i need to tell u something' n i go 'me too' and long story short we just fam now

shirodaddy: he said he fucked chair-kun

rantyavocadaddy: w h y w h a t n o

tachi: oh

tachi: k

shirodaddy: p o t a s s i u m   
  
\------------  
  
kirikirikyokyo: [Lesbos](https://www.google.com/maps/place/Lesbos,+Greece/@39.1759845,26.2237074,10z/data=!4m2!3m1!1s0x14ba92a3f73e1ff7:0xa2923112ca2e4e8d)

kirikirikyokyo: my hometown

OhJay: we get it ur gay

OhJay: so am i

kayayday: happy pride month yall

kirikirikyokyo: have a very gay day you never-online-assassin-fucking-pianist

kayayday: oh a very gay day i will have ;)

shumai: okay we did not need to know youre planning on fucking maki until she cant walk properly

kayayday: *gasp* did you think i was that perverted????

kayayday: okay i mean you're not wrong but im not doing it without her consent

OhJay has changed their name to OhGay

OhGay: it felt like something was missing

kirikirikyokyo: you thought it wasnt gay enough

kayayday: can something ever be gay enough???

kirikirikyokyo: *slaps top of kaede* this girl can fit so much gay in her

kayayday: true

nyehnko: happy pride!

nyanners: 🌈🅱appy 🅱oppin 🅱ride You G🅰y H🅾es🌈

OhGay: ah yes happy bride to you too

temaki: i read that as happy brie

kayayday: owo hi

temaki: uwu hi

kirikirikyokyo: happy brie

nyehnko: happy bra

noobmaster69: happy bra month u fucks

kayayday: wait taro thought he was straight this whole time??

noobmaster69: read it again u fuk

kayayday: o okay

nyanners: tsk tsk thats why you always read it twice

kayayday: umu

nyanners: omo

nyanners: WAIT NO

nyehnko: ANGIE-CHAN NOOOO

noobmaster69: omo

noobmaster69: omora

noobmaster69: OMORASHI

noobmaster69: HAHAHAHAH ITS INEVITABLE

temaki: when u a furry and you have a piss kink

temaki: oworashi

noobmaster69: wow

noobmaster69: friendship with furby ended maki is my new bff

Togamomo: How can you two stomach to say such cursed things?

Togamomo: @kayayday @nyehimiko @MadeOfMoney How do you stand these two?

MadeOfMoney: eoufp

noobmaster69: oof mom broke

nyehimiko: ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

kayayday: its absolutely cute when she laughs at peoples demise im sorry

Togamomo: What did it cost?

kayayday: ...Everything.

kayayday: a small price to pay for salvation

temaki: uwu

noobmaster69: @nyehimiko

noobmaster69: i love you, 3000

nyehimiko: pkease stoep reminding me he ddead

nyehimiko: but yea i love u 3000

OhGay: thats straight

nyehimiko: nyeh

neko: IF THAT IS A ENDGAME SPOILER I STG

tachi: sorry she hasnt seen endgame yet

OhGay: what its been like months

neko: I SPENT ALL MY MONEY ON THE AIR RAID GAME FOR THE ATARI

tachi: wait what

tachi: but you could have just gone with me and gundham???

neko: but then youd have to pay for me,,,, i dont wanna be a bother

tachi: aw its okay <3

neko: its fine im getting my allowance in a few days so ill finally get to see endgame <3

OhGay: all the way back in the 80s wow

neko: ikr thats why its super expensive it was super rare back then too with only 12 copies

noobmaster69: yooo how much did you buy it for

neko: uhh 3

OhGay: 3 what

neko: 3 million+ yen

neko: actually like 32K USD but i converted it to yen

temaki: jesus christ

noobmaster69: just how much money do your parents give you???

neko: like, 5K USD per month

OhGay: holy shit you rich bitch

neko: actually that isnt even half of komaedas fortune

temaki: motherfuck

kayayday: motherfuck indeed

neko: i mean where did you think i got all that money to buy video games without working

neko: i mean yeah theres competitions but before that i lived off of my parents money

neko: but now im earning it back

tachi: how

neko: by playing more video games

tachi: great


	35. creeper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> aw man

owoma: creeper  
owoma: creeper  
owoma: creeper  
owoma: AHEM  
owoma: CREEPER  
owoma: MAKI U FUCKTARD UR CUE  
mcki: oh  
mcki: sorry  
owoma: from the top  
owoma: creeper  
mcki: aw man  
owoma: so  
mcki: we  
owoma: back  
mcki: in  
owoma: the  
yiruma: FUCK I DROPPED MY ICE CREAM FROM THE 3RD FLOOR  
mcki: mine  
mcki: fuck you  
owoma: fuck you  
owoma: WE WERE DOING SO GOOOD  
yiruma: WHO CARES ABOUT MINECREAFT  
yiruma: I JUST FUCKING DROPPED MY ICE CREAM AAAAAAAAA  
yiruma: icecream.jpeg  
shiroo: STFU MINECRAFT IS GOOD  
owoma: ok lets start  
owoma: creeper  
mcki: aw man  
owoma: so we back in the mine  
shiroo: got our pickaxe swinging from  
mcki: side  
owoma: to  
shiroo: side  
mcki: side  
owoma: to  
shiroo: to  
mcki: side  
mcki: ouma you fuckface  
mcki: its 'side to side, side side to side'  
owoma: IM SORRY ITS HUMAN TO MAKE MISTAKEEESSSS  
mcki: back from the top  
komachu: creeper  
mcki: aw man  
shiroo: so we back in the mine  
owoma: got our pickaxe swinging from  
komachu: side  
shiroo: to  
owoma: side  
mcki: side  
owoma: side  
komachu: side  
shiroo: side  
shiroo: KOMAEDA  
mcki: ah yes  
mcki: side to side  
mcki: side side side side  
shiroo: fuck lets just continue  
shiroo: this task  
mcki: a grueling one  
owoma: hope to find some diamonds to  
owoma: night night night  
mcki: diamonds tonight  
yiruma: fuck  
yiruma: heads up  
shiroo: you hear a sound  
pppp: turn around and look up  
cheerios: total shock fills your body  
mcki: oh no its you again  
owoma: i could never forget those  
mcki: i's i's i's  
pppp: eyes👀eyes👀eyes👀  
avocad: CAUSE BABY TONIIIGHTTTT  
avocad: THE CREEPER'S TRYING TO STEAL OUR STUFF AGAIN  
cheerios: CAUSE BABY TONIGHTT  
owoma: GRAB YOUR PICK, SHOVEL AND BOLT AGAIN  
mcki: and run run until its done done  
shiroo: until the sun comes up in the morn  
pppp: CAUSE BABY TONIIIIGGHT  
avocad: the creepers truing to steal our stuff again  
komachu: i actually dont know past the side to side part  
avocad: boi  
shiroo: o btw i got two gfs now  
avocad: holy fuck that was fast  
avocad: we only broke up like,,,, a few weeks ago??? and now ur in a relationship  
shiroo: yep  
shiroo: a poly one in fact  
avocad: but actually, yeah im seeing someone rn too  
pppp: we went from singing minecraft songs to talking about relationships  
mcki: what a whiplash  
pppp: anyway @oooo @r.r.r.r @nnnn  
pppp: .  
oooo: .  
r.r.r.r: .  
nnnn: .  
avocad: peko what  
pppp: squad goals  
oooo: if you put our names together its ppppoooo  
pppp: haha poo  
owoma: haha pern  
shiroo: pp  
avocad: oh yea i just remembered  
avocad: congrats on legally changing ur gender, kichi  
owoma: thank u, thank u  
mcki: can i call you legal horse king now  
owoma: y e s  
owoma: @everyone  
owoma: im OFFICIALLY your BOY KOKICHI on my passport  
pppp: can we get a yeehaw for horse king  
oooo: yee haw  
avocad: yee haw  
shumai: yee haw  
mcki: yeehaw  
yiruma: yeehaw  
owoma: thank u thank u  
owoma: now all i need is a dick  
mcki: one day, son  
owoma: also im finally getting my trans pride converse on thursday  
mcki: thursgay  
komachu: everyday is thursgay if ur gay enough like me  
yiruma: is that a challenge big boy???  
TJ: Please,,, never say big boy again. Thank you for your cooperation.  
yiruma: wuz wrong bIG GIRL????  
TJ: i want to quit this  
shiroo: TJ says she loves you but ur a disappointment  
mcki: when am i ever not  
kaeidiot: maki baby, uve never been a disappointment  
mcki: wait  
mcki: i just realised you were talking about her  
mcki: when is she ever not  
owoma: what a save,,,,  
yiruma: sORRY  
yiruma: UGUUUUU KAEIDIOT UR GF'S TAKING SHOTS AT ME AGAIN  
kaeidiot: didnt know maki was a doctor lmao  
r.r.r.r: sHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS SHOTS ERRYBODYY  
gunDAMN: sonia pls  
oooo: wANT SOME SHITS GUNDHAM-KUN???  
oooo: im sorry what  
oooo: SHOTS  
gunDAMN: no i do not want shits, tsumiki  
owoma: whats wrong gundham-kun?  
owoma: could it be that you're craving my....  
owoma: q u a s o n t  
shumai: quadont  
420: ugh iwant some quasonts rn  
owoma: the fUck?  
420: that thing ur talking bout  
420: yanno? the french read thing  
nnnn: croissants?  
420: the fuck is that  
nnnn: croissant.jpeg  
nnnn: you stupid bitch  
420: hghhhhh sorry i didnt know  
r.r.r.r: kwazonts  
owoma: KWAZOINKS  
TJ: jinkies  
avocad: kirumi, why is your user 'TJ'  
TJ: Iruma changed it.  
gunDAMN: oh so it was toujou  
yiruma: it stands forrrr  
shiroo: ToJo?  
yiruma: tender juicy  
avocad: why  
yiruma: tender juicy ass  
TJ: HHHHHHHHHH

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> almost a year holy shit


End file.
